Corona Bali Protected
The heat pivoted on a paddle battle with three minutes to go. Jordy greased a slick air, kicked out in front of Gabe, then went toe-to-toe with Medina in a physical paddle battle. I was stunned Jordy won that. Absolutely pole-axed. That left Medina last priority as the clock ticked down and a heat loss he will bitterly rue come year's end.  | Photo: WSL/Sloane

Day 5, Keramas: “Jordy pole-axes Gabriel!”

And challenges Gabriel Medina to fight!

Day five, six, whatever it is caught me on the hop. Women’s heats called on, and it’s not that I’m not interested in womens Pro Surfing – my plan is to transition into full-time coverage and ditch the mens – but after thinking and focussing on pro surfing so much a sportswriter needs some clean air away from the screen. ie. the waves were pumping here. 

The notification came half way through heat one round four. But first should we riff a little more on John Florence? Does his year not recall that famous quote from Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises, “How did you go broke?”

“Slowly at first, then all at once.” Paraphrase, I know. 

We’ve failed, so far, to attribute any of the blame to mere randomness, what author Nassim Nicolas Taleb calls the “Black Swan event.” His first loss to Mikey Wright (at Snapper) just occurred from a slightly too sleepy start in a heat where the best waves came to Mikey.

Then at Bells, he was hassled off the first wave by Zeke Lau and over-compensated with patience.

Margarets he is still going and here in Bali he again suffered a slightly too sleepy heat against an unfancied opponent who threw caution to the wind and prevailed. 

Surf journalist Nick Carroll in comments said he could have walked to his second title last year except for a relapse in heat strategy. I see it slightly differently. He was on fire at Bells and should have won his heat against an over-scored Ibelli. Same in J-Bay against Morais. Again, luck: randomness. The subjectivity of judges. If those two events went his way, the title would have been won far sooner.

I don’t believe he wants to walk away.

Why?

My short but intensive interviews with him revealed a man of surprising competitive intensity. I take at face value his claims to want to win big by going bigger and redrawing the boundaries of competitive surfing. I believe that is sufficient motivating force for him to be on tour.

But he’s been mugged by the reality of randomness. So far. Problem is now plugging the holes so the losing slowly, heat by heat, doesn’t begat the catastrophe of losing the whole year in a torrent of uncontrolled bad heats. J-bay, more than Ulus, offers a reset. 

Four heats today, in perfect high-perf conditions. Bourez masterful, masterful rail lord in heat one.

Heat two was a banger. Ace out of the blocks quickly, Mikey looked hesitant and slow. Griff patient. In the back third Ace’s lead was reversed as Mikey caught fire then Griff bought full repertoire from rail game to fins out surfing. One thing to note: Mikey has been unable to score using hi-fi surfing and has had to “backpeddle” to the rail game. If he meets Filipe that will be telling. Wright and Colapinto through. 

Jordy stole away from Flores and Medina in heat three to open a slender lead with very big opening turns. Medina looked beastly, again. But could not finish a wave properly to ice a lead. J-Flo played patient tube hound and rode the best waves of the heat. The heat pivoted on a paddle battle with three minutes to go. Jordy greased a slick air, kicked out in front of Gabe, then went toe-to-toe with Medina in a physical paddle battle. I was stunned Jordy won that. Absolutely pole-axed. That left Medina last priority as the clock ticked down and a heat loss he will bitterly rue come year’s end. 

“This really fired me up,” said Jordy in the post-heat presser with Kaipo Guerrero. “We were paddling  and he pulled my leg once and I went, ok accident, twice, I thought that’s deliberate. Put em up. Let’s go.”

“Love it, love it, that passion,” muttered a panicked Kaipo, echoes of Todd Kline’s interview with Bobby Martinez in 2011. 

Jordy had just said, on a live webcast, that he’d been deliberately interfered with by Medina and that he’d subsequently suggested they fight.

No follow-up question. No investigation. No probing.

“Can you carry that passion into the quarter-final?” said Kaipo.

Yawn. 

The final matchup with Italo, Filipe and ADS was a slight, slight anti-climax. Not for aficionados of backside surfing because Italo showed the game has changed and he is at the apex of high performance surfing, not John, not Filipe.

It was slight anti-climax because he skipped away so quickly and with so much dominance that it was no contest. He too, can not quite grease one of the towering airs he’s been attempting. If he sticks one, the dam wall will burst. If Australia can support thrre CT’s an actual Bali leg should be a no-brainer, even if the tech billionaires who now seem to control Big Surfing are enthralled with trains in tubs. 

We’ll meet again tomorrow for the final, I guess. 

Corona Bali Protected Men’s Round 4 Matchups:
Heat 1: Michel Bourez (PYF) 17.00 def. Willian Cardoso (BRA) 13.60, Jesse Mendes (BRA) 11.66
Heat 2: Mikey Wright (AUS) 15.80 def. Griffin Colapinto (USA) 13.73, Adrian Buchan (AUS) 12.50
Heat 3: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 11.76 def. Jeremy Flores (FRA) 11.70, Gabriel Medina (BRA) 10.76
Heat 4: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 17.00 def. Filipe Toledo (BRA) 13.87, Adriano de Souza (BRA) 13.16

Corona Bali Protected Men’s Quarterfinal Matchups:
Heat 1: Michel Bourez (PYF) vs. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Heat 2: Mikey Wright (AUS) vs. Willian Cardoso (BRA)
Heat 3: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Filipe Toledo (BRA)
Heat 4: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Jeremy Flores (FRA)

 

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PottzBot
PottzBot
8 years ago

That’s what I love about our sport.

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
8 years ago

Is it “Pole-axed” or “Polaxed”? BTW, my 9-year old is calling him “Jor-duh-eee”.

resumes.mvlhawaii@gmail.com
8 years ago

How can some guy who scored Madonna in her prime become such a softcock wanker? Come on Kaipo, have some passion yourself you little bitch!!!!

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

I dunno man. He kinda looks scared, like he’s got one last chance and he can’t blow it. Maybe this is his only gig and if he fucks up he goes back to working at Foodland stacking shelves.

Ricoimmo
Ricoimmo
8 years ago

Let’s be real – between young Kaipo and Madonna, who was the predator and who was prey ?

f u
f u
8 years ago

Can you define “high perfomance surfing” for me? because that is obvioulsy subjective. for me JJs tubes where more high performance than Jesse’s sloppy air

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

were

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

deflection

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

Yes, sorry; just yanking your chain.
I do have a more substantial answer, just got a few goats showed up so I need to attend to business.

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

right on, it was somewhat of a rhetorical question anyway. aloha

Strider's Gobble Neck
Strider's Gobble Neck
8 years ago

Medina and Jordy in a ring? Maybe there would be a heat I’d pay to see!

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
8 years ago

Medina would kill him! Remember that heat loss where Jordy tried to punch his board and missed!

Strider's Gobble Neck
Strider's Gobble Neck
8 years ago

That’s okay, it’ll redirect and hit Charlie.

bruddah
bruddah
8 years ago

In his rd. 4 heat Italo catches a left, much to the amusement of the 89 World Champ and Turpel…

89 Champ Martin Potter – “Where are we?”

Turpel – “We’re at Keramas. I love it.”

They really can’t get any shittier.

https://youtu.be/BWHTo-07M7…

Ashton's Yellow Hat
Ashton's Yellow Hat
8 years ago

Jordy’s interview was fire. Kaipo blew it by not squeezing the juice out of the lemon, and did anyone see the candid Jordy/Jeremy profanity laced conversation after that heat? Pure gold. Embrace the drama WSL, for fucks sake, that was the most entertainment we’ve seen all year.

Mapski
Mapski
8 years ago

Charlie would have him in a Kimura right quick.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

Does Charlie roll?

Jen See
Jen See
8 years ago

Yeah — the lack of a follow-up there was like wut. It’s not always easy to pull the right question on the spot, but that one shoulda been there.

Supaworm
Supaworm
8 years ago
Reply to  Jen See

Isn’t the”big break” what all live-to-air reporters dream of?!

Jen See
Jen See
8 years ago
Reply to  Supaworm

I would think, yes! I mean, if I’m interviewing someone for not-live shit, I’m always hoping they’ll say something like that! And then, it’s like, poker-face, oh really? Do tell me mooorrreeeee. 😀

Supaworm
Supaworm
8 years ago
Reply to  Jen See

That’s because you have skill… Wsl news team are a little more Ron Burgundy!

Jen See
Jen See
8 years ago
Reply to  Supaworm

Sometimes. Other times, I listen back to interviews and I’m like, howwwwww. How did I miss the obvious question. (cringes)

rwvbwl
rwvbwl
8 years ago
Reply to  Jen See

Hey Jen,
The women are competing live right now, so random question for ya:
Are there any women judges on the panel when they compete? Or is it only men?
If not, why?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago
Reply to  Jen See

The way you handle that moment is lightly. Say something like “you’re not pulling MY leg are you Jordy?” And let him do the rest.

Then go and talk with Gabriel. Who btw has provided more competitive fire moments than all the others combined in the WSL era. They should mic him up and just roll with it.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

would have been great if Jeremy got involved too. real missed opportunity for a great moment in competitive surfing

shootsthen
shootsthen
8 years ago

Seriously, the WSL completely ignores the fact that the world is obsessed with reality TV. I’ve been saying this forever, show us wtf really goes on with these surfers!

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago

Oh he just panicked. Could see his own career evaporating if he didn’t douse the flame.

Mr. Potz’s Opus
Mr. Potz’s Opus
8 years ago

Who is more annoying, Gabby, Zeke or Helen? Helen is the name Potz and I gave to Wilko’s haircut, a persona all it’s own on tour. It’s still probably Zeke. Yup, def Zeke.

f u
f u
8 years ago

Gabe then Zeke and then Helens absurd over scoring for the doing same turn over and over again

Keener Kola
Keener Kola
8 years ago

The funniest subtlety after that interference explanation was Jordy being the first to say they were calling it off for the day

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  Keener Kola

He has the loosest lips!

Mapski
Mapski
8 years ago

No take on the women’s event?

Jen See
Jen See
8 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

he said he went surfing, which is an alright excuse.

if you’re takin’ requests, LT, we’d like a women’s wrapup? please?

Mapski
Mapski
8 years ago
Reply to  Jen See

With lots of Louisa May Alcott and Judy Blume references.

Jen See
Jen See
8 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

are you there god, it’s me tyler

Mapski
Mapski
8 years ago
Reply to  Jen See

Tatiana has that one cornered already.

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

it’s a problem of capacity and resources Mapski.

I gots to earn money outside this gig.

Karl Myers
Karl Myers
8 years ago

I think Mikey Wright kills it and really like his raw power and intensity, but what’s up with him always going to a grab-rail cutback? For him this is a “training wheels” safety turn when he should be digging in.

Dee Walker
Dee Walker
8 years ago
Reply to  Karl Myers

or his laybacks, this is safety turn. I find he looks boggy, his boards look shit. Surfs great but is the most juiced up surfer since slater. gets an extra point each wave for “coolness”.

J H
J H
8 years ago

Wait…did the comp shut down for Brody Jenner’s wedding???

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

Scratch that…wedding is in Nihisumba (formally Nihiwatu).

I wonder if Mark Healy still has his water sports outfit there. Anyone know?

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Bring back the buoy!

Antipodes
Antipodes
8 years ago

Fuck I hope the WSL keeps up with with the on demand approach to comps. I’m liking the cadence of a couple of heats followed up by LT’s precise analysis to round out my day.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

If Jordy consistently surfed with the intensity he paddled today, he’d be a three time world champion. Loved his interview, Jesus he hates Gabby!

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Fuck I need to watch this! You mean there was some personality? Crazy

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

It was pretty funny!

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Derek will be adding an important addendum to this article addressing it.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

It was the realest moment in pro surfing since Mick got bumped.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

God i want them to fight so badly..can Chas organise this with his industry connections you think? I would pay to watch.

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

remember a couple years ago when gabby dropped in on jordy at chopes and jordy kicked his bored at gabes head? they hate each other. Jordies post heat interview was great.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

Sure do! Reminds me a bit of the ‘89 World Champ and Brad Gerlach tangling many moons ago.

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Who is this ‘89 World Champ of which you speak?

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

Fuck yes!

Mapski
Mapski
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

Wendy Botha.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

WSL will edit it from the heat analyser. Fun sheriffs.

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

it was during the early morning free surf, right before the contest started.
im sure the footage is long gone or maybe not?

Queen Astarte
Queen Astarte
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

well, lets not ignore that he surfed pretty bloody intensely too

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  Queen Astarte

An angry Jordy is obviously a good Jordy!

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

I read that as”Jesus hates gabby”.
Bit harsh but understandable.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

Jesus loves everyone! Except Jordy.

resumes.mvlhawaii@gmail.com
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

I think Jesus frowns down on brazzo buttnuggets tattooing mentions of him all over their freshly shaved bodies more than hardened Durban boys standing up for themselves!

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

And loved himself! What a puffed up thing he is.

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

if you dont project that confident energy outwards where he grew up than you are seen as prey by people that will kill you for the two dollers in your pocket

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

With all due respect, that’s rubbish. I’ve spent a lot of time in SA, and there are lots of humble people. And Jordy doesn’t even seem to project ‘confident energy’; he breaks down in tears at the drop of a hat, and his surfing falls apart too often.

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

I never said anything about all south african people.
When does Jordy break down in tears?
If you mean Chopes, than you have never almost drowned before in heavy surf and had your brain chemistry wacked out by the survival struggle.
Have you ever walked down the street or the area Jordy grew up in?
its not safe by any means.

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

When he loses at J Bay, for one. No, I didn’t mean Teahupoo, but yes, I have had a few scares in heavy surf. I didn’t make me more arrogant.
Not sure which Durban neighbourhood Jordy grew up in, but I have been to sketchy places with very friendly, humble people – in SA and elsewhere.

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

whatever, you obviosly dont understand, a person sees thing differntly when they have lived somwhere as opposed to just visited.

GBP
GBP
8 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

Right!? As much as I loved the tangle, Jordy is really hard to like. Such overt arrogance

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Ain’t nothing quite like Jordan when he’s wild and bitter.

david fffff
david fffff
8 years ago

You know what’s fucked about Ulus and my fantasy pool? The fact that I picked my Margs team for North Point.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

Asing all day.

GT
GT
8 years ago

I’m still flabbergasted on Julian bogging rail yesterday. Italo will crush the Bali leg and the boy from Aus will be having nightmares about that wave well into retirement.

Queen Astarte
Queen Astarte
8 years ago
Reply to  GT

Julian Assange bogs less in the Embassy dunny

Lorlac
Lorlac
8 years ago

That Jordy kick-out to paddle battle was mental. I was out of my chair.

Louis P
Louis P
8 years ago
Reply to  Lorlac
Larry Loose Ass
Larry Loose Ass
8 years ago
Reply to  Louis P

hot flush from menopause?

Louis P
Louis P
8 years ago

Check out heat analyzer between Italo and Filipe, after Jordy’s interview they pan camera to Gabe. He looked ‘passionate’.

Larry Loose Ass
Larry Loose Ass
8 years ago
Reply to  Louis P

that ‘pan’ technique has been my favorite maneuver of this comp, maybe this season

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
8 years ago
Reply to  Louis P

I’ve never been prouder of Jawrdee! In fact he’s always kinda errked me a bit. When his farm is burned he can chill here in Oz.

Blunted Sultan
Blunted Sultan
8 years ago

I like Jordy because he’s been stabbed before and talks about it like it was no big deal.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
8 years ago
Reply to  Blunted Sultan

Now I have two reasons to like the young buck

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  Blunted Sultan

I lived in Durban for a year and its a seriously dangerous place. South Africans can come off sounding dickish sometimes but it makes more sense when you see what danger you are in any time you walk down the street alone.

Tio Sam
Tio Sam
8 years ago

i’m so proud of jawrdeee bla bla bla, poof hes gone.

Ashton's Yellow Hat
Ashton's Yellow Hat
8 years ago
Reply to  Louis P

He’s probably thinking about Jack Robbo in his next heat at Uluwatu…

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

Cardoso shouldn’t be here.

f u
f u
8 years ago

I like the panda. he gave the spartan a high five after his good barrel during the heat. You dont see that much or ever

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

Yeah I saw that and dug it too. I just don’t think his surfing is there yet.

Toin coss
Toin coss
8 years ago

I can’t remember, but didn’t Kelly seem to frequently find buzzer beaters to win heats? You could never count him out. We loved him for his (consistent) last second super hero abilities. Now that’s totally gone and I don’t see JJ really providing surfing that same type of thrill. I’m bored AF. I do like Griff, Jordy, Felipe, Italo though.

Vegetable Lasagna
Vegetable Lasagna
8 years ago
Reply to  Toin coss

and Spartan…
His surfing is so nice to watch lately.!

Toin coss
Toin coss
8 years ago

True, yeah him too

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  Toin coss

Yea – he’s been great. Man carves !

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  astro

Fuck better than Jordy’s power turns imo. I was uncontrollable watching those turns…

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  Toin coss

JJ’ s thrills come in heavy surf, thats where he shines far beyond the rest

Toin coss
Toin coss
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

It’s true


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