Joel Tudor: “I make fun of shit ‘cuz I can!”

Joel Tudor, the "grumpy local" hero that surfing needs, weighs in on high-performance longboarding!

I called Joel Tudor today and he laughed when he answered the phone. Laughed a genuine laugh that increasingly rare in these horribly fractured times. Laughed when I said, “This is Chas Smith from BeachGrit.” Laughed when I repeated it because my connection was bad.

It made me so happy. So marvelously, wonderfully happy that he appears to practice what he preaches. Slinging outrageous barbs but them accepting them in equal measure because it’s all a funky dance, right? No one can ever take this surfing ultimately serious, right? We’re all walking disasters, right?

Right?

Or to quote Joel Tudor himself, “I make fun of shit ‘cuz I can.’

Amen Brother Joel.

Today I called him because high-performance longboarding is happening at Lowers. High-performance longboarding at Lowers as part of the Relik Longboarding Tour and I was already curious as to his take even before he posted the above photo to his Instagram account.

After he finished laughing I asked, “Is there a future in high-performance longboarding or is on the verge of going away forever?”

He responded, “Well, it’s geared to the region and there is one place in the world it works. Hawaii. It works in Hawaii because the waves are so fast so it becomes functional. The kids in Hawaii…. the kids in Hawaii are radical and they’re caught up in it but it doesn’t work or look good anywhere else.”

It made much sense, the “ride the appropriate board for the conditions” mantra and Joel continued to riff on the value of modern logging without training wheels (I was unsure if “training wheels” refers to side fins or a leash though assumed the former), how it’s not some leftover relic, as it were, but a living breathing expression that today’s youth are stretching, molding, changing. How much fun it is etc.

But back to high-performance longboarding, I suppose I’m happy that it can stick around in Hawaii and also happy that it doesn’t belong anywhere else.

Especially Lowers.

Wanna watch?

Lower Trestles Day 1 Afternoon Highlights | Relik Longboard World Tour 2018 from Surf Relik on Vimeo.

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Medina's Hairless Armpits
Medina's Hairless Armpits
8 years ago

Just explain… Your account is anonymous you won’t face the wrath of whoever it is you’re scared of

Snowbored
Snowbored
8 years ago

The footage of the longboarding fans on the beach watching, and the food they were eating was funnier than the surfing!

Lindalovelace
Lindalovelace
8 years ago

Id take longboarding anyday over the pool shit , lonboarding is culturally relevant.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago

Jeezuz, don’t encourage him.

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

this three line poetry
is getting on my goatry

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

I’ll upvote you even though I disagree with you.

BG is now the cutting edge for surf journalism related short-form poetry.

The other media outlets are now desperately scrabbling around for a new hook to stay relevant.

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
8 years ago

getting choked out by danny fuller also works in hawaii.

Sean Tully
Sean Tully
8 years ago

For just $500 (more expensive than the Michelob Lite Surf Ranch!) you can hang on the beach VIP style under indigo dyed canvas shade eating warm sushi with some of the world’s best knee leash wearers. Considering the WSL longboard tour is a fucking joke (literally its laughed at mostly), Surf Relik is the best game in town unless you can afford to fly to China for Vans next DTI contest. At least in Joel’s contest Nolan might hook you up with a pair of sample size vans. My current pair is blown and I’m still waiting for the invite.

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
8 years ago

Are they living and surfing in slow mo or is it an effect?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago
Reply to  Walter Pepekay

There was one move in real time, but it looked like slo-mo anyway…

astro
astro
8 years ago

I agree.
But they don’t need any encouragement.
Add a few of them and sup and they can fuck any break.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

I know no surfers (personally) from either place.

Keep laying it out!
Doing well so far.

Edit: ok found name.
Automatically a bad thing – no.
What’s the word on street?

Party Pete
Party Pete
8 years ago

Be good to see a proper interview with Joel Tudor hes a stylish surfer and seems like an opinionated sort of guy and hes done stacks of interesting stuff! I heard he learnt kung fu so he could take care of himself as he wanted to surf the Pipeline and was nervous he might get bashed by the north shore locals on his performance longboard.

Real Miki Dora
Real Miki Dora
8 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

Joel is black belt in Jiu Jitsu.

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago
Reply to  Real Miki Dora
channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Please elaborate.
Unsure who you are referring to. I know nothing about this scene. Explain like I’m five.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

explain like i’m five is my favourite request haha on my fav t-shirt

StarJamma
StarJamma
8 years ago

I kinda even like longboarding and the only highlight in that video was someone putting what looks like sushi or poke on a tortilla, which is puzzling. High performance longboarding is like Bonga Perkins and whatnot.

f u
f u
8 years ago

besides the lame backside top turn, the rest looked like the normal hot dogging that was done before joel was even born

Blunted Sultan
Blunted Sultan
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

hot dogging lol, thats fucking old school

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  Blunted Sultan

totally old school, it felt weird typing it out. I dont know what else to call it. its not shreding or ripping

Average Surfer
Average Surfer
8 years ago

Should have asked him why he took down that post about equal pay? The one where he claimed it was his idea. Then went on to claim the civil rights of longboarders was the next big issue to tackle. He sure is entertaining but I’d hate to live next door to him. I bet he’s the kind of neighbor who posts notes on your door because the trash can was blocking his driveway.

Captain Planet
Captain Planet
8 years ago
Reply to  Average Surfer

The hypocrisy and pretentiousness of Mr Tudor know no boundaries.

Moreton Bay Porridge
Moreton Bay Porridge
8 years ago
Reply to  Captain Planet

sometimes ‘dumb cunt’ can be applicable, too.

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
8 years ago

Siiick, slow motion sushi

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago

Longboard Bonglord.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

A log at Trestles
Like a girl with a moustache
Wrong yet compelling

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
8 years ago

Those were the highlights?

Dooma
Dooma
8 years ago

Wait… you watched that?

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
8 years ago
Reply to  Dooma

40 second clip – 5 seconds showing someone in slow mo of a guy doing a poo stanced backhand off the top, a few clips of Tyler Warren and Jared Mell looking very cool lying around on the beach, obligatory food porn shot, and a few shots of guys hanging five way out on the shoulder. Amazing!

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
8 years ago

Nailed it.

Blunted Sultan
Blunted Sultan
8 years ago

I so regret clicking on that video. My worst nightmare is to be lumped in with that crowd when people find out I surf.

Dooma
Dooma
8 years ago
Reply to  Blunted Sultan

Was it like a hate watch?

Blunted Sultan
Blunted Sultan
8 years ago
Reply to  Dooma

It was a hardcore hate watch.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago
Reply to  Blunted Sultan

I started with an open mind, but ended with a ‘hate the fuck that I watch’-ed


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