Lies of omission are still lies!

Son of a bitch and I’m just gonna come in hot here because I’m boozed and because Stab‘s repackaging of BSR Cablepark’s press release was not only a crime against literature it was a crime against truth. A crime against fun. A crime against anything good or decent.

A crime against surfing and son of a motherfucking bitch.

Did you read? Are you caught up?

Let me fill you in. A young man from New Jersey tragically died from brain-eating amoeba after surfing the BSR Cablepark’s fabulous new wave that seemed both more enjoyable and more democratic than Kelly Slater’s. The Centers for Disease control and Health Department tested the facility and while not finding any Naegleria fowleri, the hideously responsible villain, concluded that, “epidemiologic and environmental assessment indicate that exposure likely occurred at this (Waco) facility.”

Stab, ignoring the gist of the report entirely, released a statement aping BSR Cablepark’s own reading:

Today, after CDC tests and scares that hit too close to home for anyone who has visited BSR Cablepark in Waco, the wavepool, Royal Flush Water Slide and Lazy River have been cleared of the brain eating amoeba that took the life of New Jersey’s Fab Stabile at the end of September.

The news of Fab’s death fell on the back of Stab High and raised anxiety into the highest tier. After plenty of research, it became apparent that the amoeba, Naegleria fowleri, is incredibly rare…and incredibly deadly. According to the CDC, out of 143 known cases in the United States, only four infected individuals have survived.

Every year, come winter, BSR shuts down then reopens in spring, on March 1st. On September 30th, following the tragic death and pending investigation, the park closed its doors a month earlier than it did in 2017, October 31st.

Etc.

It was an embarrassing lie, plain and simple. A lie of omission and exactly in line with our brave post-truth era. Oh some will read that as a repudiation of Donald J. Trump but he is just dancing in the ballroom frequented by Nazi Germany’s leadership before him. The left is dancing in the same ballroom popularized by Stalin’s Soviet Union before them.

Post-truth ain’t nothing new. It is the language of the fearful. The language of bastards too scared of honesty to be able to read, react and play.

And fuck it all. Fuck them all.

I get why BSR Cablepark denied denied denied. They’ve certainly got some serious lawsuits on the horizon but for Stab to jump in and release straight propaganda as legitimate is… is… well, it is fucking infuriating.

All of this stupid surf lie bullshit reminds me most of the Andy Irons’ autopsy release.

Do you remember? It was delayed for many months before being loosed with a note from the family reading, in part:

The autopsy concludes that Andy died a natural death from a sudden cardiac arrest due to a severe blockage of a main artery of the heart. Dr. Vincent Di Maio, a prominent forensic pathologist in San Antonio, TX, who has consulted on many high-profile cases, was asked to review and explain the autopsy results to the family.

He states: “This is a very straightforward case. Mr. Irons died of a heart attack due to focal severe coronary atherosclerosis, i.e., ‘hardening of the arteries.’ He had an atherosclerotic plaque producing 70%-80% narrowing of his anterior descending coronary artery. This is very severe narrowing. A plaque of this severity, located in the anterior descending coronary artery, is commonly associated with sudden death.”

The surf media pounced on the “Oh! He died of a heart attack!” angle. Another lie of omission but not quite as infuriating. That could have been viewed from the “covering heartbroken loved ones” point of view. Not the clear and utter bullshit of corporate protectionism or even worse Stab’s crowing about the airing of its Stab High on television tomorrow, though I do suppose it makes sense coming from a chubby, bejeweled boy hungry to call the police for something he couldn’t handle himself.

And here is something I struggle with as a “surf journalist.” Is it even vaguely important to get to the bottom of a story or are our rose colored lenses part of our charm? Is that what people always want?

Fuck it all if it is what people want. Our truth is far rosier and don’t need obfuscating lies as cover. Yes our heroes are cocaine addled. Yes our pools are deadly.

Wanna paddle?