Buy: Your own personal wave tank for under $75000!

Introducing Surf Boss!

Ooooee somebody sure should have participated in Sober October this year and I don’t mean Kelly Slater. Well, I had fun and enjoyed testing BeachGrit‘s fibers with some radical honesty and did you ever fall for that early-2000s self-help program? Radical Honesty? If I remember correctly you were supposed to walk around telling everyone they were fat to their faces then reach enlightenment.

I feel we came close yesterday and I only wish that we had been conducting the session aboard Montara Boats’ new Surf Pontoon. One of us hitting the lip on the perfect wave peeling off behind us. All of us mocking the poor form etc. practicing our Radical Honesty.

And you know how little I care for fresh water. You know that I am a salt man to my bones but this Surf Pontoon sounds better than a wave pool and much cheaper too. Here’s a little taste from boatingindustry.com:

Minnesota-based Montara Boats is excited to announce an industry first, a pontoon boat you can surf behind. After extensive research and development, Montara has developed a patent-pending design that blends the comfort of a pontoon boat with the performance of an inboard surf boat.

“For the past 15 years I’ve watched neighbors and friends buy tow boats for water sports in addition to pontoons for entertaining. We’ve cracked the code on this and figured out how to blend these, creating the Surf Boss that does it all,” said Montara CEO Mark Overbye.

Ending the frustration of having to compromise performance for comfort, size and space, Montara’s new Surf Boss is available in three lengths, 21 feet, 23 feet, and 25 feet.

Equipped with PCM inboard engines, the Surf Boss features competitive surf wakes, a fully enclosed head, over 100 cubic feet of storage, dual swiveling captains chairs, jumbo-sized dual transom loungers that flip from forward to aft viewing.

Initial deliveries are expected to arrive dealer show rooms beginning in late December. Surf Boss street pricing is anticipated to range from about $65,000 to $75,000 for respective 21-foot to 25-foot Surf Boss models.

For some time now, I’ve wondered if the future of inland surfing was right under our noses all along (buy here!). The Surf Boss can run 42 mph with 6000 lbs ballasts, a weight that causes most wake boats to wallow. Imagine if you could get that up to 12000 lbs? It’d barrel right overhead like a moving miracle!

I’m telling you true, this is the future. I know because I’ve reached enlightenment.

Would you buy?

Are you in?


From the nothing-about-surfing department: Here’s what I believe politically!

Let's put all our cards on the table!

Oh hell. The minefields surrounding politics and political beliefs are so extreme right now it is basically impossible to dance. Anything and everything can be construed in some sort of anti-this or pro-that light and I am very proud of BeachGrit for remaining, more or less, untainted.

You don’t come here for partisan screeds, the rest of the media is doing a fantastic job filling that bucket. You come here, I’d imagine, for a few laughs, a few comments and to get away from partisan screeds for one God blessed moment.

But we also need to be able to step without exploding in leftist or righty rage.

Today’s Failure of Morality made me realize that politics are ever present and ever more present around the most interesting stories. That there is no escaping and so would you mind if I came all the way clean?

Wanna know what I believe, not that it matters?

O-fucking-K.

I got kicked off my high school newspaper for publishing articles that would make Breitbart blush including, but not limited to, “People who have AIDs deserve it!” (which I was appropriately fired for.)

When it was actually time to register to vote, I registered with the Green Party because my 18-year-old self found it hilarious that a political party was named after a color.

I’m still registered Green but only because my 40-odd self finds it hilarious that a political party is named after a color.

I think that Republicans are power-mad liars.

I think that Democrats are weak-willed liars.

I think the WSL is trying to sell a product that its ownership/upper level management doesn’t understand/doesn’t really want to understand.

Wanna go surfing tomorrow?


Failure of morality: Waco, Stab and the brave post-truth era!

Lies of omission are still lies!

Son of a bitch and I’m just gonna come in hot here because I’m boozed and because Stab‘s repackaging of BSR Cablepark’s press release was not only a crime against literature it was a crime against truth. A crime against fun. A crime against anything good or decent.

A crime against surfing and son of a motherfucking bitch.

Did you read? Are you caught up?

Let me fill you in. A young man from New Jersey tragically died from brain-eating amoeba after surfing the BSR Cablepark’s fabulous new wave that seemed both more enjoyable and more democratic than Kelly Slater’s. The Centers for Disease control and Health Department tested the facility and while not finding any Naegleria fowleri, the hideously responsible villain, concluded that, “epidemiologic and environmental assessment indicate that exposure likely occurred at this (Waco) facility.”

Stab, ignoring the gist of the report entirely, released a statement aping BSR Cablepark’s own reading:

Today, after CDC tests and scares that hit too close to home for anyone who has visited BSR Cablepark in Waco, the wavepool, Royal Flush Water Slide and Lazy River have been cleared of the brain eating amoeba that took the life of New Jersey’s Fab Stabile at the end of September.

The news of Fab’s death fell on the back of Stab High and raised anxiety into the highest tier. After plenty of research, it became apparent that the amoeba, Naegleria fowleri, is incredibly rare…and incredibly deadly. According to the CDC, out of 143 known cases in the United States, only four infected individuals have survived.

Every year, come winter, BSR shuts down then reopens in spring, on March 1st. On September 30th, following the tragic death and pending investigation, the park closed its doors a month earlier than it did in 2017, October 31st.

Etc.

It was an embarrassing lie, plain and simple. A lie of omission and exactly in line with our brave post-truth era. Oh some will read that as a repudiation of Donald J. Trump but he is just dancing in the ballroom frequented by Nazi Germany’s leadership before him. The left is dancing in the same ballroom popularized by Stalin’s Soviet Union before them.

Post-truth ain’t nothing new. It is the language of the fearful. The language of bastards too scared of honesty to be able to read, react and play.

And fuck it all. Fuck them all.

I get why BSR Cablepark denied denied denied. They’ve certainly got some serious lawsuits on the horizon but for Stab to jump in and release straight propaganda as legitimate is… is… well, it is fucking infuriating.

All of this stupid surf lie bullshit reminds me most of the Andy Irons’ autopsy release.

Do you remember? It was delayed for many months before being loosed with a note from the family reading, in part:

The autopsy concludes that Andy died a natural death from a sudden cardiac arrest due to a severe blockage of a main artery of the heart. Dr. Vincent Di Maio, a prominent forensic pathologist in San Antonio, TX, who has consulted on many high-profile cases, was asked to review and explain the autopsy results to the family.

He states: “This is a very straightforward case. Mr. Irons died of a heart attack due to focal severe coronary atherosclerosis, i.e., ‘hardening of the arteries.’ He had an atherosclerotic plaque producing 70%-80% narrowing of his anterior descending coronary artery. This is very severe narrowing. A plaque of this severity, located in the anterior descending coronary artery, is commonly associated with sudden death.”

The surf media pounced on the “Oh! He died of a heart attack!” angle. Another lie of omission but not quite as infuriating. That could have been viewed from the “covering heartbroken loved ones” point of view. Not the clear and utter bullshit of corporate protectionism or even worse Stab’s crowing about the airing of its Stab High on television tomorrow, though I do suppose it makes sense coming from a chubby, bejeweled boy hungry to call the police for something he couldn’t handle himself.

And here is something I struggle with as a “surf journalist.” Is it even vaguely important to get to the bottom of a story or are our rose colored lenses part of our charm? Is that what people always want?

Fuck it all if it is what people want. Our truth is far rosier and don’t need obfuscating lies as cover. Yes our heroes are cocaine addled. Yes our pools are deadly.

Wanna paddle?


Waco, Texas (October 12, 2018) – Results of environmental sampling conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in collaboration with the Waco-McLennan County Public Health District (WMCPHD) and the Texas Department of State Health Services (DSHS) found evidence of Naegleria fowleri, a free-living ameba (single celled organism) that causes Primary Amebic Meningoencephalitis, a rare and devastating brain infection with an over 97% fatality rate at the BSR Cable Park and Surf Resort (BSR). A New Jersey resident who had visited BSR this summer died after contracting the disease. Epidemiologic and environmental assessment indicate that exposure likely occurred at this facility.

CNN: Dead New Jersey surfer “likely” exposed to brain-eating amoeba at Waco Pool!

State and federal officials find evidence of brain-eating amoeba at BSR cable park. Meanwhile, Waco pool press release declares "water tests come back clean." Bullish!

A day before Stab High last month, a New Jersey surfer, Fabrizio Stabile, was dead in hospital after visiting the Waco wave pool.

Whether he got it in the unfiltered water of the pool or not wasn’t clear. Maybe he’d stuck his head under water in the hotel jacuzzi. Maybe he’d dived into a rancid backyard pond.

Who knew etc. Until today.

Stabile “was exposed while visiting the BSR Cable Park and Surf Resort in Waco, Texas, during the summer,” a Waco-McLennan County Public Health District said. 

From CNN:

Water samples taken by local, state and federal health officials at the beginning of the month ‘found evidence of Naegleria fowleri,’ the amoeba that causes the infection, according to the health district.

The health department concluded, “epidemiologic and environmental assessment indicate that exposure likely occurred at this facility.”

Although the amoeba itself was not found in water samples from the park, “the presence of fecal indicator organisms, high turbidity, low free chlorine levels, and other ameba that occur along with N. fowleri indicate conditions favorable for N. fowleri growth.

The tests were taken from the park’s Surf Resort, Royal Flush and Lazy River features. Those areas are to remain closed until “all health and safety issues have been addressed and mitigated appropriately,” the health department said, adding that the owner of the park is cooperating and working to develop a “comprehensive water quality management plan to include current regulatory requirements.”

The BSR Cable Park said on its website that it is installing a state-of-the-art filtration system on the three features to ensure that they are “as clear and clean as humanly possible.”

Contrast those results with the park’s press release.

It really is a bullish spin. Appropriately Trumpian.

“BSR SURF RESORT, Lazy River & Royal Flush slide WATER TESTS COME BACK CLEAN” and “BSR Determined to Go the Extra Mile, Set Highest Standards for Safety.”

First and foremost, on behalf of the entire staff at BSR Surf Resort, our hearts and prayers are with Fab Stabile’s family, friends, and the New Jersey surf community. A precious life has been lost, and we are deeply saddened for his loved ones.For the past two weeks, increased awareness of this incredibly rare disease, Naegleria fowleri, has swept the globe. What will come of all this news coverage and commentary? At BSR Surf Park, we are determined it will help save lives.
Although comprehensive test results have now confirmed that the water at BSR Surf Resort meets every standard for safety, today I am announcing that we are going the extra mile and hiring a North Carolina firm to install a state-of-the-art filtration system to make our water in the surf, on lazy river, and at the Royal Flush slide is as clear and clean as humanly possible. It will take us to February to complete the installation of this new filtration system working very closely with local, state and CDC officials.

There are only a few of these man-made surf parks in the country today, but many more will be built. Our goal is to set the highest standard for these facilities. Going forward, BSR Surf Resort will have the cleanest water anywhere in the United States.

I built this water destination resort so people of all ages could learn to surf and wakeboard — and then go home safely to their families. We take pride in our park and the safety of every guest. And to be clear, it’s not just the guests that use the park. It’s also my family, our friends, and our employees that essentially live in our water. My two year-old twins play on that beach, and — as kids do — they drink the water every time.
So you better believe my cousin, who tests and treats the water every day, is damn sure no one gets sick.
BSR wants to thank everyone that has supported us from the start, and believed in what we are trying to do. We want to make people happy — and safe — and that’s what we are going to continue to do.

We will update you on our progress through social media and our webpage, and look forward to seeing everyone soon with clear, blue, clean water.

Hoo-ee.

You going?

(Editor’s note: If you want reassurance, and a little more spin, click here.)


World Surf League on Quik Pro: “Massive attendance at the beach with 1000s of people worshipping their idols!”

It's time to believe!

  1. The World Surf League seems to really be hitting stride, really finding its voice. I sometimes joke at the perceived tone-deafness but whatever is happening now is pure art. It feels just too good and did you watch any of today’s finals? Of course Longtom has the best wrap around but you really should go back and watch some highlights.

It is like the day bent toward the WSL’s will. Remember, the forecast for the event was less than stellar. It was bad, even, but there, on finals day, the most perfect French waves streamed to shore with the best surfers in the world plying their trade magnificently.

A show in the best sense of the word and do you believe in manifestation?

Oprah Winfrey does. She says:

I think we manifest the very thing we put out. If you’re putting out negativity, then you’re going to retrieve that same sentiment. If you emanate joy, it comes back to you.

Or maybe that was Robin Wright but no matter. The message is the same as it was when Kevin Costner declared, “If you build it, they will come.”

We mocked the WSL’s manifestation, or at least I did,  but today there were near perfect waves for a French final and tomorrow there will be massive attendance at the beach with thousands of people worshipping their idols. Not literally tomorrow, obviously, the event is over, but figuratively tomorrow.

Don’t believe me? Examine this bit of Universe tinkering.

See it there in the bottom right corner? Massive attendance at the beach with thousands of people worshipping their idols?

Do you believe?

I do. Not literally believe, obviously, because I’m a Gen-X cynic, but figuratively believe.