"I know this is a minority opinion but I find head-high Chopes an entertaining watch. Very absorbing, very intriguing."
A bit of bookkeeping to tidy up the numbers at perfect ten-foot (Yeppoon scale) Teahupoo is not the worst thing in the world.
I know this is a minority opinion but I find head-high Chopes an entertaining watch. Very absorbing, very intriguing.
On paper, a great equaliser. On paper, incredibly simple: tubes any accomplished amateur could wrangle, enough waves for everyone to cut a piece off etc etc.
But, it ain’t.
In fact it does the opposite to equalize. I love because it exposes one of the great lies constantly perpetuated by all and sundry at the wossle, especially a commentary team that should and does know better.
Ross Williams verbalised it perfectly yesterday when he said, “Everyone on Tour is a weapon here.”
What would be the harm if Barton were to say, quite truthfully, that surfers with more experience, greater courage, higher line-up intelligence and superior skill sets had a massive advantage here and that that was clearly reflected in the results?
He, as coach of John John Florence, must know more than anybody that this is a fiction. To use a phrase he employed today against him: it’s fake news. What I don’t understand is the purpose of this fiction.
What would be the harm if Barton were to say, quite truthfully, that surfers with more experience, greater courage, higher line-up intelligence and superior skill sets had a massive advantage here and that that was clearly reflected in the results?
It’s a strange sport that doesn’t seem to understand what sport is and what sport does and yet in its outcomes is crueller than almost any other endeavour. It seems as if the commentary team is commentating for the benefit of the Top 34, handing out gold participation awards and mollifying losses.
Mixed bag in the line-up. South runners with thin pinching exits and bulbous wedges with a more westerly angle. Seabass found the best of it with two dreamboat runners that stayed open. The controversy in the heat centred on the final exchange between Jordy Smith and local Matahi Drollet.
It’s a strange sport that doesn’t seem to understand what sport is and what sport does and yet in its outcomes is crueller than almost any other endeavour. It seems as if the commentary team is commentating for the benefit of the Top 34, handing out gold participation awards and mollifying losses.
Jordy’s wave was clean and longer, with two turns. Adjudged a 6.87. Drollet’s taller and rounder but he had to slow down for the tube. Granted a 6.5. The breakdown in the panel: every judge except the local Tahitian judge found Jordy’s wave better. I think, fair do’s. Judges discerned the technical difference between the two rides. The bigger tragedy, picked up in the live comments, was eliminating the local specialist who could dominate heavy water in baby food. In effect, forcing the trials winner to surf two more trials heats to get to the main event.
The other wildcard, Hawaiian Tyler Newton, who I confess I’ve never heard of and can only conjure up an image of Brad Pitt in Fight Club when I hear his name, also failed to progress. Ok, that was Tyler Durden, I googled it, but I bet there are GenX fight club fan parents behind Tyler Newton watching their boy and hoping he would get through. He did not.
Two quick digressions.
GenX is, I think, the dumbest generation, sandwiched between a futile rebellion against the world bequeathed by the all conquering baby boomers and a needy love/hate of the new techno-utopia of the Millenials. And, did you find the ending of Fight Club hideously pretentious or magnificently surreal*?
Ryan Callinan had a plan, which was to wait for the good ones and get barrelled. After twenty minutes he pulled the trigger and got pinched. Plan fail.
Weirdly, once he jettisoned the plan the good ones came to him like flies to a honey trap.
Poof! Blown out with a puff of spit, a lone frigate bird gliding on a swell behind him. Then another. Last to first.
Heat three was really about wishing and hoping Bourez got through so there would at least be some Tahitian representation when the surf gets real. He struggled at first then relaxed and started to employ the different interpretations of tube-stalling he possesses. The back leg now dragging off the outside rail, not the inside like we saw at big Cloudbreak, enabled an extra second or two behind the curtain.
Luck played a bigger factor than anything in deciding the heat. Peterson Crisanto was perfectly positioned for a dreamy bomb. Best wave of the day and after bobbling the take-off it only required a clean backdoor entry and exit to score excellent and take the heat.
Remember Brett Simpson? Specifically, anyone here remember his heroics in 2011 at Teahupoo? Not Code Red swell but a big paddle day they jagged just after it.
I had Griffin Colapinto pegged as this year’s Simpo; the Californian who would transcend his small-wave upbringing and charge. After heat four today I’m switching my Simpo candidature to Conner Coffin. The hobbit looked very calm, very composed. Perfect technique.
Easy win against M-Rod and Jesse Mendes.
Four heats in glassy perfect tubes. Blue water. Mountains. How can a sane person stand agin it?
*Magnificently surreal.
**A nice story in the OC Register about it.
Elimination Round (Round 2) Results:
Heat 1: Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 14.40 DEF. Jordy Smith (ZAF) 11.87, Matahi Drollet (PYF) 9.57
Heat 2: Ryan Callinan (AUS) 12.50 DEF. Caio Ibelli (BRA) 8.74, Tyler Newton (HAW) 6.57
Heat 3: Peterson Crisanto (BRA) 11.50 DEF. Michel Bourez (FRA) 11.33, Frederico Morais (PRT) 10.17
Heat 4: Conner Coffin (USA) 15.43 DEF. Jesse Mendes (BRA) 9.93, Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 6.66
Round of 32 Matchups:
Heat 1: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Jadson Andre (BRA)
Heat 2: Adrian Buchan (AUS) vs. Deivid Silva (BRA)
Heat 3: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Soli Bailey (AUS)
Heat 4: Michel Bourez (FRA) vs. Sebastian Zietz (HAW)
Heat 5: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Adriano de Souza (BRA)
Heat 6: Joan Duru (FRA) vs. Willian Cardoso (BRA)
Heat 7: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Ricardo Christie (NZL)
Heat 8: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Yago Dora (BRA)
Heat 9: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Kauli Vaast (FRA)
Heat 10: Wade Carmichael (AUS) vs. Jeremy Flores (FRA)
Heat 11: Ryan Callinan (AUS) vs. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Heat 12: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Ezekiel Lau (HAW)
Heat 13: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Jesse Mendes (BRA)
Heat 14: Seth Moniz (HAW) vs. Peterson Crisanto (BRA)
Heat 15: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Caio Ibelli (BRA)
Heat 16: Kelly Slater (USA) vs. Jack Freestone (AUS)
Tahiti Pro Past Winners:
2018: Gabriel Medina (BRA)
2017: Julian Wilson (AUS)
2016: Kelly Slater (USA)
2015: Jeremy Flores (FRA)
2014: Gabriel Medina (BRA)
2013: Adrian Buchan (AUS)
2012: Mick Fanning (AUS)
2011: Kelly Slater (USA)
2010: Andy Irons (HAW)
2009: Bobby Martinez (USA)
2008: Bruno Santos (BRA)
2007: Damien Hobgood (USA)
2006: Bobby Martinez (USA)
2005: Kelly Slater (USA)
2004: C.J. Hobgood (USA)
2003: Kelly Slater (USA)
2002: Andy Irons (HAW)
2001: Cory Lopez (USA)
2000: Kelly Slater (USA)
1999: Mark Occhilupo (AUS)
More available at WorldSurfLeague.com.
Anyone out there know how to bet on surfing from the US and A? I tried yesterday with a VPN and a PayPal registered to an Australian address on Ladbrokes, but it said I need an Aussie credit card as well. Is there a work around?
The Hobbit (LOL) was amazing – I’m not sure how his back hand tube riding got so good surfing long, draw right pointbreaks. I think he’s just one of those too-gifted individuals that exist just to make us all sick.
Loved the shots of dry reef they were surfing towards; boards slightly below sea level
Bad waves at Teahupoo are the equivalent to decent waves at many other WT venues and can make for enjoyable action. To expect heart-in-your-mouth, macking Teahupoo for every single heat is unrealistic. Arguably it’s a shame that we’ve lost a couple of chargers before conditions got serious, but that’s how the cookie crumbles sometimes. And the bread & butter surfing displayed by the trialists/specialists/locals has been fairly poor and that’s nobody’s fault but theirs. For example Matahi Drollet’s 6.5 could have been a 9 if he’d been a little further up the point and pulled in on take-off. He wasted a couple of seconds of tube time there and should watch the upcoming Hobgood heat for some pointers!
Isn’t Kauli Vaast Tahitian? Meaning there’d be two remaining Tahitians.
Seabass
A Surfers surfer certainly,
Surfing the surf with certainty,
Certain surfers surf the surf surfingly,
While others surf like shit.
TylerDurden made people face their hypocrisies, often in an uncomfortably frank manner.
For the arrogant and corrupt, this was an affront and they rejected such a direct dissection of their inadequacies with a venomous attack on the character of Tyler, even though they knew deep within Tyler was (w)right.
astute analysis
Hahaha yes to all of the above – thought exactly the same
There is little more grating than hearing Kaipo describe Tahiti as “beautiful” every 3 seconds.
After a few minutes I actually longed for some grey drizzle with a council estate backdrop and some tampons floating in the water.
Turpel & Pottz. Nails on the chalkboard. For 5 years now.
But I’m enjoying Ross back in the booth, flaws and all. Barton is good too. And clean 4ft Chopes can be fun to watch. Bring that swell tomorrow though
Kaipo is faking that Hawaiian accent. Right ? He’s actually from New Jersey I think. Like Eddie rothman
To my ear he sounds like Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure
No he isnt
You dont know who Tyler Newton is?
only very very vaguely.
Pal of yours?
No he’s just a known pipe charger from Kauai had a few hall of fame tubes at pipe
did he make a Volcom Final?
watch this https://www.instagram.com/p…
He won the Backdoor shootout this year. He’s very good in big barrels.
ah yeah, the Backdoor Shootout, heard his name from that, missed that comp.
Have to admit I was very disappointed to here you don’t know who he is. Starting to question your status here on BG.
mate, there’s 30 underground chargers in my home town. Can’t even keep up with the QS, let alone every underground Hawaiian charger.
And again we see the wildcards who would own the rest get knocked out by crappy surf…when the entire world knows that the real deal Teahupo’o is coming in a couple of days. What’s the point of having trials at a place as unique as Teahupo’o only to run the elimination heats in surf that doesn’t even look like the trials or coming main event?
You’re thinking of fighting the snakes, while many wise men before me have already pointed out that one needs to cut off Medusa’s head. And by that pseudo philosophical babble I mean, just get rid of the bottom half of the men’s tour.
That’s deep. But I hear ya. Only problem is that eliminating the bottom half would take away from our fantasy picks fun . . . and everyone’s internal fantasy of “I could make the tour…because of Kelly is 47 and still on there…I mean, I’m only…”
As a Gen X’er let me just say Longtom, you hit the nail on the head about Generation X…
Gen X surfers. We’re the worst (of the worst).
Your commentary, your writing style and your perspective is just….. The worst. Like, fucking awful. You ruined my day.
Take a tough pill. If that’s all it takes.
what in particular did you find objectionable about it BJ?
He found being born in the late 70s particularly objectionable. That comment about Gen-X has made him very disgruntled.
It reads like you dictated most of the story to your phone and then just posted the text file as the article. Also, which major sports organization announcers don’t cater to the ego of the players? Announcers are all platitudes, hyperbole and qualifying statements. Hot takes are for third rate internet surf bloggers.
Oooo…a rare contrarian! I like this. Please go on…
It could be! Why not?
probably would be quite fitting.
I haven’t got my head around a brother World Title, but if he won here I guess I’d have to.
He needs to focus more on the rail in my opinion. Too any crazy speed runs to big airs without the flowing connectivity of John
Nah, he needs to focus on finding worthy 50ish Y.O. BG commentators and casually spending vast sums to liberate them from the hum-drum of their daily existence by flying them to Hawaii for 6 mnoths uninterrupted surfing.
I’m happy to suffer as the guinea pig for this new direction in his career as a surf charity benefactor.
Wait. You guys are 50? Where am I?
Some of us are round those parts.
You blink and then… “Fuuuuuuuhhhhk, where’s my hair?!?”
I recall the Syrian elf Kelly Slater beat the Aussie giant Bede Durbo in a paddle battle therefore the commentary yesterday about Kelly’s vs the Portuguese guy’s size seemed irrelevant. It was old age.
No room for that tired old Freerider line on this side of the internet.
Geez you let some gnarly shit slide and poor repetitive Sam not so much.
He’s said the same thing the same way on every surfing website for the last five years or so. It’s dull.
Okey dokey.
Hey Neg. How are you. Hope all is well–really. I’ll try and tone it down a little. I’m not trying to be negative or repetitive. Haven’t seen that quote in it seems like forever, it just kinda seems to fit the way I feel and it seemed an appropriate reply to ‘Some Guys’ reply to me. Anyway, hope you have a good evening and take care.
don’t try and crawl back into his good graces Sammy.
lame-o.
Haha LT. I actually meant it when I said I hope he’s doing well. Totally sincere. Hope your doing ok also. I just disagree with some of your rhetoric. Isn’t that what the comment section is for? Your comments– your opinions. You guys seem to want the truth–but in reality– you can’t handle the truth……
I’m just busting your balls Sammy. go on mate, as you were.
The “truth” is yours alone Freerider.
What you want from surfing is easily obtained.
Paddle down to that empty peak and turn your computer off.
You’re only punishing yourself and in turn us by even engaging in surf media with your nostalgic longing for a era long gone.
Thank you Bex.
You remember someone elses wave from 2011?
I’m guessing you are perpetually not by choice single and have never seen the inside of a legitimate tube
haha–good one.
I was born with a great memory.
“Luck played a bigger factor than anything in deciding the heat.”
**Breaking news**
Andrew Luck retires from NFL. Same day hired by WSL as So Shall Influencer. “So who shall the Heat winner be? Mr. Luck? Little help please.”
Pure Luck X Pure Gold
I have an Ace in my winning hand.
And a fist full of sofa upholstery in the other?
thanks for the chuckle, Channel.
Tis Good for snacking on.