Tragic: Woman drowns in freak standup paddleboard yoga accident

It is time to disappear the evil tool forever.

I don’t like to smirk at other people’s misfortune but today’s headline is just too rich and I was sent to me independently by two caring, intelligent, warm family men. Therefore, I feel it is my great duty… not to smirk but rather warn the grumpy local public of the great danger inherent in anything standup paddleboard related, including but not limited to standup paddleboard yoga.

Now, of course you’ve seen standup paddleboard yoga either in the wild or on Instagram but have you ever been tempted by its charms? Like, a stray thought fleeting through your mind, whispering… “I bet that’s really good for the core.”

Obviously not the “core” like we use it here, as in “I’m core because I only get surfboards from the shaper down the street and my favorite t-shirt reads ‘The Surf Industry Stole my Culture and All I Got was This Stupid T-Shirt.'”

But “core” as in pelvic floor and abdominal muscles.

Well, let’s hope you never gave in because, as revealed today, standup paddleboard yoga is deadly and let us turn to CNN for more.

Lisa Margaritis, 48, an experienced paddleboarder, was trying to help another woman who was struggling in the strong current under a bridge in Hashamomuck Pond when Margaritis’ paddleboard got caught on a bridge piling and she fell in, Southold Police chief Martin Flatley said in a news release.

Because she was tethered to the board, Margaritis wasn’t able to free herself, Flatley said.

Very sad etc. but also the standup paddleboard is a little piece of hell on earth. An invention that rivals Agent Orange and the guillotine for sheer destructive capabilities. They are the worst in the surf but, as shown by today’s tragedy, unacceptably risky anywhere including but not limited to standup paddleboard yoga on a pond.

I think we should all email a standup paddleboarder we love and beg that he or she abandon the evil tool for the sake of his or her family.

I’ve got ELo.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
56 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Chad Lebrone
Chad Lebrone
7 years ago

Fuck. I agree that the better option would be cutting the number of men.

Gadoot
Gadoot
7 years ago

I used to have one in the 90’s with a pin you could pull that would release the cuff from the leash thought it was really cool back then.

Wilbur
Wilbur
7 years ago
Reply to  Gadoot

I’m not sure, but they still may make those.

MaxNeoprene
MaxNeoprene
7 years ago

Is GOAT yoga a WSL Slater thing? And if so how do we drown it ?

shootsthen
shootsthen
7 years ago

Very sad story of a Good Samaritan giving her life to save someone else. I made my students (nephew/current gf) practice taking off their leashes before I took them in the water. A few years ago my gf’s leash got stuck on the reef, in pounding surf. After the incident she thanked me and said that that first leash removal lesson saved her ass. And ironically, I saved a tourist a few weeks ago, by forcing her to take off her leash, abandon her soft top, and helping her in over the reef. Learners gotta know how and when to immediately rip off the leash. I don’t know the details but by the story it seems the woman wasn’t prepared/didn’t realize that ripping off the leash was her escape route. Very sad.

Litmus and Chill
Litmus and Chill
7 years ago
Reply to  shootsthen

I’ve saved literally thousands by removing their leashes.

shootsthen
shootsthen
7 years ago

Really? How so?

Dennis Commentary
Dennis Commentary
7 years ago

“The surf industry stole my culture…” just printing it on my t shirt now

kooks_who_rip
kooks_who_rip
7 years ago

oh cool we get to see Tio Blanco do half turns all year long now

East of the 5
East of the 5
7 years ago
Reply to  kooks_who_rip

But she’s into yoga and a vegan. And she recycles and uses a HydroFlask…

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

So what I’m getting out of this is that the current prevented her from reaching the strap on her ankle/calf. Sounds like she needed to be doing something that ‘worked the core’ a bit more.

f u
f u
7 years ago

I have new Da Kine leash with velcro so strong that it is pretty difficult to pull off actually.
you have to get your finger in the loop and pull hard.
It kinda scares me

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago

What people often do in this situation, when their leash is caught around an obstacle, setting them against the water flow (and yes, it has killed people while they were surfing), is try to reach down for their strap. It doesn’t work, because your body is trying to move against the current. You’ll never get to the strap and you’ll drain your energies trying. Instead, draw the knee of your leash leg up to your chest, so you can easily reach the strap without bending from the waist. This v simple move would have saved the Margarita lady’s life and may one day save yours.

samwaters
samwaters
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Good tip, and a ways back they had a leash with Velcro strap that also had a quick release ‘pin’ if I remember right……

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Had heard that somewhere but would probably forget under real conditions of threat. Not like my mate when we were surfing Shipwrecks one fine day. As the tide turned, the swell picked up in increments of about a foot per set, which were also becoming more frequent. I just manged to snag a 6′-8′ wave while he paddled over it to be confronted with a 10′ wave, combined with being drawn into the impact zone by the wave I caught sucking water over the reef into the lagoon.

He evacuated the board to dive under and tumbled around a bit before the pressure gently compressed him flat on his back on the reef. Couldn’t lift off, so started climbing his leggy figuring that would get him to the surface. Only to find, surfboard pinned flat to the reef beside him. Got to the surface just in time to get smashed by the next wave with a half breath. Tumbled around again, although by now was washed in and away from the impact zone of the subsequent 8 waves.

Eventually got across the lagoon and did appear a little pale when arriving at the warung. Wasn’t so keen on hanging around for the increasing sets the next day. This was the swell that knocked the shipwreck from vertical to horizontal and the only time I ever surfed over the seaweed beds on the way in.

Wilbur
Wilbur
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

That massive Nias swell almost killed a semi pro when he was jumping in the water. I forget who, but he got his leash wrapped around a rock on the inside when the whole bay was draining out. Damned near drowned before he paddled out in that massive swell. I believe his leash snapped and saved his life.

astro
astro
7 years ago

Chris also let slip that he often takes a “prop” board to the beach so that he blends in and doesn’t feel uncomfortable.
Fuck, this is the WSL gold standard of bullshit cuntardery.
What a fucken tool ….

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
7 years ago
Reply to  astro

Complete and utter wanker

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I am just not real sure who , would think that Team USA Cheerleader ,Mr Côté , is doing a good job as a WSL Surf Commentator ? …..aging skaters in white mid length socks ……. ?

astro
astro
7 years ago

Dork should clip his man-bun in place on-camera and out himself.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
7 years ago

No, my white mid length socks and I don’t think so either.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Thanks A ID . Not being an aging Skater, myself , I thought I might have been missing something . I always imagined Aging Skaters being even more hard core than the Grumpy Locals .

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

While commentating the men’s semifinal at H Pier , Mr Côte talking about Liam O’Brien’s home break of Burleigh didn’t even know that the 77 STUBBIES ,won by MP over MR , was where Peter Drouyn introduced man on man surfing to the world , but obviously not the .skating world of SoCal ? … Shame , shame , shame …. Walk of Atonement ….. shame , shame , shame ….

http://youtu.be/6Q9WekXueRg

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
7 years ago

disgracefully ignorant,
a prime example of WSL kookery (or their attempts to rewrite history perhaps, though I would’ve thought Dirks wife would’ve tried to bring Peter/Windina in as a consultant)

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago

Being in the water around bridges has always given me the heebeegeebees. Poor girl. Emailing Laird.

f u
f u
7 years ago

I have said it before and Ill say it again.
the leash was the worst thing ever invented.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

Chicken and the egg though. Blame the surfboard.

f u
f u
7 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

you dont get it

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

How often do you wear a leggy? I appreciate the “kook cord” argument but shit it’s too far gone now…

f u
f u
7 years ago

i was being hypothetical

samwaters
samwaters
7 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

It’s not the board– its who’s riding it…a leash just makes it easier for them to get back on it….

samwaters
samwaters
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

Well said, AKA-(also known as)–the Kook Cord……

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

You know Sam , there are three types of surfers that don’t need a leash

a) Bodysurfers .( unless they are walking the dog )
b) Surfers who always surf alone . ( who can swim like fish and have a masters degree in ding repairs )
c) Surfers who are absolute geniuses who never , ever ……. ever fall off .

So the other 99.9999999 % probably should use a leash …. ?

f u
f u
7 years ago

you do remember that surfing existed before the leash, right?
people swam or made their waves.
the leash made it possible for anyone to paddle out.
enlarging the crowds.
being a good swimmer with ocean knowledge and being a surfer should go together.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

Yes Ckt , I totally agree . I was 200 m club champion of the local swimming club at 12 and have surfed for 45 years and competed for 30 years . I once didn’t fall off a wave for 6 months . I would , even at 54 , love to surf,with or sans leash , only with people on high performance shortboards who have dedicated their lives to surfing , but that period , from the late 60s to the end of 80s and the birth of the bodyboard ( fun but cheating ) and the renaissance ( rebirth in French and nothing to do with the end of the dark ages )of the modern mal ( I surf like shit , not fit , but it allows me to catch a lot of waves ) put an end to that dream .I suppose the real question is do you want to be run over by lost boards in today’s bumper to bumper surf traffic or ……. have your board run over someone else ?

f u
f u
7 years ago

Dodging the random stray board or crowds of people?
I choose the board.

samwaters
samwaters
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

Its funny ck–surfing did exist before the leash, for quite awhile, and you learned how to deal with it, and if you had to swim, you swam. You were a better waterperson for it.

And you learned how to watch out for lost boards and how to deal with it, and you paddled back out on the shoulder away from the take off zone. I’d take less crowds and no leashes also. No leashes– was good crowd control…..

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

Sammy I know this may seem a personal question but how old are you ? Leashes have been the norm ( for better or worse )at most spots world wide , since 1975 ?

Chad Lebrone
Chad Lebrone
7 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

The surfers of old might’ve been “true watermen”, but fuck me they were terrible surfers.

Fear of losing a board stifled progression and modern performance surfing owes its existence to legropes.

f u
f u
7 years ago
Reply to  Chad Lebrone

no, it owes it to Dick Brewer

M.
M.
7 years ago

But… but… but getting trashed on the reef while trying to retrieve your now dinged up board is just so much fun. Who wouldn’t want to do that for the honour of being considered a true aquaman (sorry I mean waterman, all this kook talk has me confused).

f u
f u
7 years ago
Reply to  M.

When the leash first came out, it was called a Kook chord.
no need to worry what others consider about you, just worry about how you consider your self.

M.
M.
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

Please see new avatar.

samwaters
samwaters
7 years ago
Reply to  M.

Mr M., it was somewhat a right of passage, toughened you up a little, (a lot), no little miss markie afraid she might cut her toe or step on a urchin if you lost your board, you learned how to negotiate the reef with minimum risk.
Not so today. Someone’s leash breaks and they almost panic, they have no survival skills, heaven help us (them)……cause they can’t help themselves………And ya, people actually knew how to fix their own dings…….oh wait—can a (your) softop even get dinged………

Chad Lebrone
Chad Lebrone
7 years ago

I once went a full 8 months without falling off a wave, and didn’t wear a leggie the whole time.

Granted, I was injured and didn’t surf so that might skew the statistics a bit.

samwaters
samwaters
7 years ago

Well, as for point B–you don’t have to swim lika a fish, but you should be a decent swimmer who knows how to deal with rips and other ocean related obstacles (many had those skills in the early years). And no masters degree–just some basic ding repair skills (that all surfers should already have). Do you know what Q cell is………

samwaters
samwaters
7 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

And if you read my reply above with the kook cord reference, I didn’t say they should never be worn…..

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

Solar Rez is my best friend …. I watched the Duck Tape Finals ,and saw a few lost boards , which was cool because there were only 4 highly competitive log riders in the water but was imagining the carnage if there were 40 not so talented log riders out in the lineup getting smashed by the unpredictable peaks at 3ft H Pier …. ? Duck Tape goes Ten Pin Bowling ?

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
7 years ago

Good luck surfing the reefs around here without a leggie. Otherwise you’d go through a lot of boards.

I don’t use one at the local beach break when solo, especially when there’s lots of kelp on the inside.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

I wasn’t trying to be a killjoy , just trying to take a humorous , realistic view on the subject .

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
7 years ago

Yep, and I agree.

Some places you’re ok without the leggie, but those places are few and far between in my world.

East of the 5
East of the 5
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

SUPs are far worse. Followed by foils coming in a close second.

Shurley
Shurley
7 years ago

SUP yoga was always an oxymoron waiting for its 15 mins of fame. Yoga – hold some complex postures to relax the body and nerves and destress – then get on an unstable, floaty-barge in moving water and pretend you’re not internally contradicted….? Its like macho brazilians and smooth underarms – the sum of the parts shouldn’t even be attempted in the first place, surely.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Well , I was going to e-mail Ian Cairns ( Get well soon ) …….. So I have decided to e-mail Kai Lenny ?

Dear Mr Kai Lenny
subject : the danger of SUPing and Bridges on Maui

In 1971 A lot of surfers crossed the Rainbow Bridge on your Island of Maui , using Foils, and never came back . Stay Safe …..

V3 Rocket
V3 Rocket
7 years ago

Is this why everyone is going leash free?

Lisa Maragaritis is an awesome name too btw

MeatyInvincible
MeatyInvincible
7 years ago
Reply to  V3 Rocket

imagine if she ordered “M…M..,Magaritas for Ms. Maragaritas?”


56
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x