Paradise gone wild.
I have always been very opposed to any “bucket list” but mostly on linguistic and aesthetic grounds as opposed to moral or ethical ones. The word “bucket” both looks and sounds… bad. Also the film starring aging Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman was an unfortunate choice for all involved which, speaking of, the entire genre of aged actor films is rotten. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel etc. Back to bucket lists, though, if I was to have one, the Maldives would be the very top of that list.
Impossibly crystalline water, virginal white sand, a Four Seasons that has a gorgeous wave and hosts a surf contest regularly won by Josh Kerr.
I would very much like to go to the Maldives and with a recent alleged ISIS attack my desire just tripled. Quadrupled even and let’s quickly turn to The Daily Mail for details.
Maldives police have arrested three suspected Islamic extremists over the stabbing of three foreigners in the upmarket tourist destination.
Two Chinese men and an Australian were in a stable condition after being stabbed Tuesday, just two months after security officials warned of the presence of violent radicals inspired by ISIS.
Authorities said they were investigating a video released on social media claiming the attack had been carried out by a local group sympathetic to the terror group.
‘The Maldives police service has arrested three suspects under a court warrant in relation to the stabbing of three foreign nationals,’ police said in a statement.
They were not identified.
Late last year the Maldives arrested a local man described by the United States as a recruiter for ISIS in Syria and Afghanistan.
Thankfully everyone is ok and not to make light of scary situation but imagine winning the “ISIS recruiter: Maldives” gig. There you are in Eastern Syria, not pleasant, or Afghanistan, freezing. Maybe Iraq but not Euphrates-adjacent. Things are bleak. The caliphate’s territory has shrunk to almost nothing, hope is thin but then your boss comes in and says, “Hey, pal. Pack your Kalashnikov and a pair of trunks. You’re headed to the Maldives.”
It would make a fine movie, I think. ISIS recruiter in paradise.
Better than The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.
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Will Isis train sharks ?
“not to make light of a very scary situation”…if inclined to follow that with a but, I would choose a different topic to try taking the piss out of…personally
I heard that it was a actually some terroristic white sharks disguised as ISIS. C’mon Chas! Get the story straight!
Sort of like , a picture says a thousand words bar ” The End”?
Can I interst you in a 100% proof market related affordable anti stress kit?. These new age post 2020 antipsychotics seem to have lost their efficacy. Only R99 postage and packaging. Guaranteed no returns. Also makes an excellent GW immobilizer . Almost like a Tazer but just about 200 years to late to have made the the Oprah Winfrey show where everyyyyyyone gets one. I’d add the free complimentary GW as a tester but for some reason they all seem to have gravitated Ozwards.
Maldives is an Islamic super-state. The resort Islands are post-card perfect false Utopia while the locals live a totally different reality. Sharia law rules. The islands are not drowning in rising sea water, they drowning in plastic water bottles. It’s fucked.
So like a sleeper cell but only supersized for the small and affordable price of a 72 year old virgin?. “Sleeper island ” beware of the unsated virgin geriatrics , visit at your peril , makes the GW seem tame and almost petworthy by contrast.
A short story? Novel?
New Disqus handle?
Good news, the Chinese are surfing.
Maybe not anymore…
When they stop acting like George Costanza yelling fire and settle the down they’ll be back.
Covered in antibacterial cleanser and wearing dust mask of course.
**bring your own anti bacterial cleanser if you visit Australia any time soon, they’ve cleaned every shelve here and shipped it back home.
Using emergency ward trauma boards?. . This I gotta see.
Wearing useless dust masks of course.
Someone will need to keep them from succeeding in scaring away tourists and destroying the country’s economy. Sounds like a job for surfing super detective/agent, Ike Ferreira!… yes, he is DEA, but he also does some side gigs for the U.S. Bureau of Counterterrorism…
Undercover ISIS recruiter in a 5 star resort sounds like a perfect movie. Throw in some Insta models and aging pro surfers and you’ve got a hit comedy.
And Chas, you should give the genre of “aged actor films” another chance. Sorrentino’s Youth is pretty good
https://youtu.be/shvJdbQyjQw
I’m so in! Thank you!
it basically writes itself. Recruiter gets a job as the pool boy, is constantly tempted by sex and alcohol… Theme song: a tropical steel drum version of “losing my religion”
You forgot the suicide surfer. Aloooo Yukbaaaar boooomphfffff , bye bye GW. New rage this season , turbans for tubes , spot the suicide dude win a GW chase . Can I interest you in a pair of pet free willy’s?.