Super shaper Matt Biolos infuriated by California’s new mandatory holiday Covid-19 guidelines: “Mr. Newsom, do we now live in Communist Russia?”

American flag emoji.

Yesterday, whilst on the way home from buying an extra large rat trap, I heard a story on National Public Radio about how Canada is seeing a spike in Covid-19 cases and that it is being blamed on their recent celebration of Thanksgiving on October 12.

The rat, who lives in either the palm tree or the overgrown bird of paradise outside the bedroom window, makes much racket at night and I puzzled over which trap to get. The classic neck breaker? Modern poison? Worrying about my daughter’s chihuahua Thunderstruck in either case. She is small enough to get her own neck broken and has an adventurous enough palate to nibble a drugged carcass.

The only trap I was decidedly against was the humane catch-and-release sort as, a student of history, I am aware that rats were responsible for our last great human plague.

I eventually decided on the poison sort, drove home, and heard Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau say, “This sucks…” regarding the spike while asking Canadians to not spend Christmas with one another.

Well, the United States of America celebrates its Thanksgiving the last Thursday in November, just around the corner, Christmas with everyone else and I wondered if our leaders would ask for sacrifice.

Lo and behold, California released very thorough new “mandatory requirements for all gatherings” including:

7. Rules for Singing, Chanting, and Shouting at Outdoor Gatherings

Singing, chanting, shouting, and physical exertion significantly increases the risk of COVID-19 transmission because these activities increase the release of respiratory droplets and fine aerosols into the air. Because of this, singing, chanting, and shouting are strongly discouraged, but if they occur, the following rules and recommendations apply:

All people who are singing or chanting should wear a face covering at all times while singing or chanting, including anyone who is leading a song or chant. Because these activities pose a very high risk of COVID-19 transmission, face coverings are essential to reduce the spread of respiratory droplets and fine aerosols;

People who are singing, shouting, chanting, or exercising are strongly encouraged to maintain physical distancing beyond 6 feet to further reduce risk.

People who are singing or chanting are strongly encouraged to do so quietly (at or below the volume of a normal speaking voice).

Instrumental music is allowed as long as the musicians maintain at least 6-foot physical distancing. Musicians must be from one of the three households. Playing of wind instruments (any instrument played by the mouth, such as a trumpet or clarinet) is strongly discouraged.

Super shaper Matt Biolos, who lives in San Clemente, was not happy asking California’s governor? “Mr. Newsom, do we now live in Communist Russia? Did this clown forget we live in (USA flag emoji)”

An interesting question.

If you had to live in a totalitarian state would you choose:

A) Russia (1922 -1991)

B) East Germany (1948 – 1990)

C) North Korea (1948 – present)

D) Italy (1922 – 1943)*

*This is a trick question as fascist Italy is not considered totalitarian.

Breaking: Riverside County Board of Supervisors unanimously approves members-only luxury surf resort to be built on the shores of the Salton Sea!

Break out the checkbook!

The surf dystopia grows more gloriously dystopian every single day. Ocean filled to the very brim with adult learners bobbing on Costco surfboards. A rusty plunger straight off of Fury Road pump, pump, pumping waves in an inland corner of Australia. A Surf Ranch, fronted by Kelly Slater, in Lemoore.

And now, unanimously approved by Riverside County’s Board of Supervisors, a members-only luxury surf resort has just been approved to be built on the shores of the Salton Sea. A true post-apocalyptic tableau.

Supervisor Manuel Perez said, “I want to thank the community advocates and all involved in this project for getting us all to this point. This is unprecedented. This has never been done before in the County of Riverside. With our concerns for affordable housing needs, clean water, lack of infrastructure and basic amenities, we have to establish partnerships and relationships to advance improvements.”

And nothing says “affordable housing needs” like a members-only luxury surf resort.

The Thermal Beach Club is planning for 326 luxury housing units, along with a 22-acre lagoon featuring wave-making technology. Memberships will span from $175,000 to $1 million.

For those unaware, the Salton Sea was formed as a glorious accident when an irrigation ditch bringing water from the Colorado river overflowed and made California’s largest lake. Initially seen as a miracle, prospectors rushed to build gorgeous homes on the shore but then it turned gross, toxic, stinky etc. because it was not a miracle but rather an abomination and now it is a sulfurized circle of hell where dreams go to die.

Or surf.

Very exciting.

Stinks like Quebec surfers in here, boy.

How COVID-19 is changing the face of surf localism: World famous Canadian mounties called after Quebec surfers breach “Atlantic Bubble” to surf Martinique beach!

"They have no regard for the protocols of quarantine."

A group of surfers from Quebec have breached the Atlantic bubble and caused a ruckus among Martinque Beach surfers in Novia Scotia for refusing to self-quarantine after their six-hundred mile journey.

“They showed up on Friday and they just have no regard for the protocols of quarantine. They were out surfing Sunday,” local Archie Wilson told The Chron Herald. “They all paddled out together and they caused a bunch of trouble with some of the other local guys.”

For those late to the game, or unaware of North American COVID restrictions, the Atlantic Bubble permits free movement between Canada’s four Atlantic Atlantic provinces.

If you ain’t in it, you gotta register and isolate for two weeks upon arrival.

Another local, hiding under a bitch’s change robe of anonymity, said he called the Mounties on the group ‘cause when he spoke to one of ’em, the man admitted he was from Quebec but didn’t feel quarantine was necessary ‘cause his COVID test had come back negs.

Still, the Mounties came although, says Wilson, it didn’t matter to the visiting surfers.

“I went down to look this morning and they were all back in the water again,” Wilson said.  “It’s just disrespectful to everybody – not just surfers. There are also a few elderly couples that live down there. If they’re going surfing they’re probably going to buy their beer after, too.”

The cops described the scenario of busting a dozen or so surfers as “complicated”.

“They’re not just going into a mall where there’s people. They’re on the water and depending on where that location is compared to where they’re staying there’s a lot of different avenues that we have to look into before we lay a charge,” Mounties Cpl. Lisa Croteau said.

The investigation is ongoing.

Heady days.

Watch: Australia’s Bondi Beach puts on magnificent show as swimmers, sharks, salmon engage in what social scientists are calling “non-triggering reproduction of The Little Mermaid!”

"These stereotypes were wrong then and are wrong now."

Under the sea, under the sea, darling it’s better down where it’s wetter take it from me. And were you a fan of the Disney classic The Little Mermaid? Oh it was so wonderful with the singing and the dancing and the ham-fisted creole accents.

Well, as you may have read, Disney is now laying a twelve second message in front of many of its older films that reads, “These stereotypes were wrong then and are wrong now. Rather than remove this content, we want to acknowledge its harmful impact, learn from it and spark conversation to create a more inclusive future together.”

I do not know if The Little Mermaid is fitted with the disclaimer, though I’d imagine many were triggered by not only its creole accents but also Ariel’s white privilege. In Denmark, for instance, someone scrawled “Racist Fish” on Copenhagen’s Hans Christian Andersen Little Mermaid statue.

But leave it to Australia’s Bondi Beach to make things right.

Yesterday two sharks, two swimmers and a large school of salmon put on a magnificent show that is entirely non-triggering. Zero accents. No songs about “kissing de girl.”

Except… are the salmon making some sort of racist caricature?

More as the story develops.

Fabrizio Stabile.

BeachGrit investigation (Part one of four): The death of Fabrizio Stabile and the case against BSR Surf Resort

A surfer dead, a thirty-million dollar sale of the park blocked pending the verdict, allegations of fraud.

(Editor’s note: Over the next two weeks, we’ll be running a four-part investigative series on BSR Surf Resort by Cedar Hobbs, whom you already know and perhaps secretly love. Was New Jersey surfer Fabrizio Stabile’s death caused by a negligence and the matter covered up, as alleged by his family in their ongoing wrongful death lawsuit? Was the pool’s water, dyed a fabulous blue-green, coloured to cover “a pathogen soup” in which deadly bacteria thrived? Today, part one, the background of the death and the lawsuit.)

On September 8, 2018, New Jersey surfer Fabrizio Stabile and a group of friends visited the BSR Surf Resort.

Less than two weeks later, Stabile, who was twenty-nine, died in a hospital bed.

His death was attributed to a brain-eating amoeba; his physicians calling it primary amoebic meningoencephalitis and Naegleria fowleri infection of the central nervous system.

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, Naegleria fowleri “infects people when water containing the ameba enters the body through the nose.” Infections cannot occur from drinking contaminated water.

Infections are extremely rare. From 2010 to 2019, only 34 infections were reported in the U.S.

They tend to occur during the summer months, “when it is hot for prolonged periods of time, which results in high water temperatures and lower water levels.”

The fatality rate is over 97%. Only four people out of 143 infected in the United States between 1962 and 2017 have survived after contracting the amoeba, according to the CDC.

Seven months after his death, Stabile’s parents filed a suit against BSR Surf Resort, owned by Stuart Parsons, in the District Court of McLennan County, Texas, for more than a $1 million.

The complaint claimed that Fabrizio Stabile was exposed to the amoeba at BSR.

The Stabiles alleged gross negligence, asserting that BSR “had subjective awareness of the risks involved, but nevertheless proceeded with conscious indifference to the rights, safety, and/or welfare or others.”

They additionally asserted a premises liability claim, arguing that BSR knew, or should have known, that there was a substantial risk of a recreational water illness that posed “an unreasonable risk of death or serious bodily harm to Fabrizio Stabile.”

Lastly, they asserted a wrongful death claim, asserting that Stabile died as a result of BSR’s wrongful conduct.

In December 2019, apparently in response to a pending sale of BSR, the Stabiles filed a motion to protect the cash sale proceeds.

According to the motion, only a month after the filing of the lawsuit, “Parsons entered into discussions to sell the assets of BSR.” Notably, the sale would have apparently separated the liabilities, where they would have been kept in “shell corporate entities” owned by Parsons.

It further alleged that the pending transfer was fraudulent, as evidenced by an alleged “massive chlorination of the surf pool” prior to a CDC inspection and alleged false statements to the press “about the pre-inspection chlorination.”

The Stabiles detailed several other examples of behavior that they contended showed that Parson’s had “a tendency toward fraud.”

These included the alleged destruction of evidence through a chlorination of the surf pool the day before a CDC inspection.

And the fact that Parsons allegedly “set up numerous LLC[s] and trusts, all of which he [was] the sole owner and officer [of].”

The last was an alleged event in which Parsons lost his phone in Lake Whitney “just before being required to produce the text messages in discovery.”

BSR filed a response that same month. They asserted that the motion for protection of cash sales was “extraordinary and unprecedented” as it requested the Court to hold proceeds from a non-fraudulent transfer.

BSR denied that there had a been a hyper-chlorination of the pool prior to the inspection, arguing that CDC test results had in fact shown that chlorine was not detected.

They further denied that Parsons had lied to the press.

They also called the allegation that Parsons had “purposefully” dropped his phone in Lake Whitney “nothing more than mere conjecture,” as the text messages sought were later recovered and produced by a forensic data expert.

On December 21, 2019, the presiding judge submitted an order that required BSR to preserve the proceeds of the sale, effectively stopping the sale.

BSR appealed the order in January 2020, arguing that order should have been vacated as it failed to satisfy the relevant legal requirements, calling it “a sword over the Defendants’ neck held at the whim of the Plaintiffs” and an attempt to force a settlement.

In a brief filed January 7, 2020, BSR pushed back on the notion that Stabile had been infected at BSR, asserting “no one has made a judicial finding that Stabile was infected in the only body of water that he visited at BSR.” They further implied that Stabile may have contracted the amoeba at his job at the New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection, which “involved collection of water samples.”

BSR additionally claimed that the sale was not fraudulent, asserting that there was no evidence of attempts to destroy evidence.

The brief called the pending sale “an arm’s length transaction for a fair price.”

The court denied the motion and later referred the case to mediation.

BSR rejected that order in March, calling mediation “impractical” and claiming that further time to consider mediators would “not aid in an agreement,” leaving the parties in a stalemate.

Oral argument is scheduled for November 3.