Bombshell: Kelly Slater’s 12th world title dream in tatters after Australia’s Federal Sports Minister says Champ has “no chance of getting into the country” unless he’s vaccinated prior to arrival!

“I don’t like the chances of him competing in Victoria, and I’d hate to think of what the chances were of him competing in Western Australia.”

Kelly Slater’s dream of snatching an unlikely world title in his fiftieth year have been all but smashed following a bombshell announcement by Australia’s Federal Sports Minister Richard Colbeck who said Slater has “no chance of getting into the country” unless he’s been injected with an approved COVID-19 vaccine. 

“I reckon he knows the rules. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a surfer, or a tennis player, a tourist or anyone else, those are the rules. They apply to everyone,” Colbeck said. “I don’t like the chances of him competing in Victoria, and I’d hate to think of what the chances were of him competing in Western Australia.”

The fourth and fifth events on this year’s ten-event tour are Bells and Margarets, April 10 through May 4.

Australia’s vax policies have come into sharp relief the past couple of weeks following the deportation of world number one tennis player Novak Djokovic.

Novak, who ain’t into COVID vaccines, secured a vax exemption to compete at the Australian Open in Melbourne, which, amid a rising furore from Australians, was quickly cancelled by the country’s PM.

When The New York Times posted the story on Instagram, Slater teed off with the claim Melbourne’s citizens had been brainwashed by its state masters, developing a bond with their captors during six lockdowns totalling 262 days after COVID kicked off worldwide in March 2020.

“Maybe Stockholm Syndrome can now change its name to Melbourne/Australia Syndrome,” wrote Slater. “It’s sad to see the celebrated division by the “virtuous” vaccinated. If you’re vaccinated why are you concerned/worried about anyone else’s status… unless, of course, it doesn’t protect you? Or you’re scared you’ll catch it or upset you had to take the risk of vaccination yourself? So much brainwashed hatred in people’s hearts regardless of vax status.”

Last October, Slater was slammed by the Australian press after launching multiple fronts in the online vaccine war, saying friends have “literally” been killed by vaccines and that he knows more about being healthy than “99 percent of doctors.”

Surf Journalist realizes, with the help of personal digital fitness and health coach, that pitiful inertia can be forever shattered!

Buy here.

Almost one year ago, to date, or maybe six months, I strapped a WHOOP band around my wrist, logged on to a technical breakdown by the WHOOP team and bathed myself in an unhealthy skepticism. The media attache was bubbly and fit, excited about how the personal digital fitness and health coach had changed her life, excited about how it would change ours.

Except dubiousness reigned in my foolish heart.

What she said made sense, sure, but I was ok, didn’t need no help, would never need help.

WHOOP was for someone else. For the generally unfit, lightly out of shape. The Gogganses of this world.

Still, I kept the sleek neoprene strop around wrist and even began checking in with the easy to navigate cellular telephone application that marked just how much my life had succumbed to a pitiful inertia.

Movement, actual movement, heart-pumping, blood-pulsing movement a rarity.

Well, I committed to changing that, slowly, at first, with a rapid uptick once I realized how much better I felt when sore, when physically tired, when actually pushing myself.

How much better I surfed.

And so I started jogging and checking my Strain numbers. I started dancing ballet and checking my Strain numbers. I began sleeping when told, resting when warned, surfing more.

And better.

All of a sudden, the active, healthy life was mine though without some major reckoning but rather simple daily reminders, tips, data and statistics.

I began plotting even more ballet performances, a path toward climbing Mt. Everest, under 6 minute mile time, session at the  legendary wave that crowns surfing champions.

Lower Trestles.

WHOOP, at the end, is a dream maker and while you may remain skeptical, dubious, foolish, I dare you to try to break your own dismal inertia for we all know inertia is death.

Embarrassing demise.

Buy here.

Zuck and Lenny palling around in the metaverse.

In revealing interview, world’s greatest waterman Kai Lenny describes BFF Mark Zuckerberg as “Super fit. Strong, strong strong. It’s crazy. He’s an athlete”; Zuck says Lenny is “Magical”!

Friendship of tech giant and Hawaiian goes next level…

In a revealing just-published interview on Wired, Kai Lenny, the daring multi-discipline surfer with sea-spray eyes shaped like pecans, skin the colour of buttered cocoa and lips as red as if he’d just applied a fresh coat of pomegranate lipstick, has described tow-buddy Mark Zuckerberg as “super cool, super into water sport, really active. Super fit. Like … strong, strong strong. Physically strong.”

Lenny, who is twenty-nine and discreet as anything given his adventures with Facebook founder Zuck as well as Google creators Sergey Brin and Larry Page, says Zuckerberg is “an athlete, for sure. Probably the most athletic of the tech people I’ve ever met.”

Re: Sergey and Laz, Lenny says, “Yeah, I’ve met them and they’re super cool. I’ve kited with them, actually. Sergey came out to Mavericks”—the California big-wave surf spot—“on our boat and watched. He’s super cool. They’re all pretty active people. I mean, why wouldn’t you be when you own the world?”

Earlier this year, Zuck described Lenny as “magical” during a Live Chat with Instagram CEO Adam Mosseri and said it was Lenny who got him into foiling.

In the video presentation for his recent metaverse announcement, Zuck leveraged Lenny’s considerable cool.

At one point, a digital avatar of the Hawaiian appears and says, “Hey Mark, down for a VR foiling sesh?”

Suddenly, Zuckerberg’s avatar is sitting on a foil board in aquamarine surf. Floating to his left, on yet another foil board, Lenny’s avatar watches affectionately as Zuckerberg toggles through a set of virtual outfits that evoke previous outings with Lenny in the real world—including a white-face one called SPF 5000. Both avatars then lie prone on their foil boards, side by side, and paddle with their arms to catch a flawless digital wave. Hopping to stand, Zuckerberg wobbles awkwardly—as if to show the entire world, See, I’m human, too! Just like you! Lenny’s avatar zips past Zuckerberg and, like a friendly mentor, says, “Whoa! Hang in there, Mark!” He then coaches the Meta CEO through a series of foil boarding tricks—“All right, back flip!”—then leads him through the hollow tube of a curling wave and across the virtual finish line, winning handily.

“Kai, you’re out of control,” Zuckerberg says.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you win next time, all good,” Lenny says.


Medina (pictured) after winning it all last year at Lowers.
Medina (pictured) after winning it all last year at Lowers.

Breaking: After teasing dynamic and exciting waves, World Surf League announces it will return to Lower Trestles for the 2022 Championship Day!


There were rumors, weeks ago, that the World Surf League would move its new finals day format to an exciting and dynamic wave for the 2022 Championship Tour season. Last year’s debut, at Lower Trestles in sunny Southern California, was a success by any measure, top five surfers doing heat by heat battle, winner advancing, though the wave… I don’t know. I love Lowers as much as the next homeschooled child but this would all be much more exciting and dynamic at, say, Barra de la Cruz in Mexico.

In any case…

Today, the World Surf League (WSL) announced the location for the 2022 Rip Curl WSL Finals and released the updated 2022 Championship Tour (CT) schedule. As part of Rip Curl’s three-year partnership, the second edition of the one-day, winner-take-all showdown, the Rip Curl WSL Finals, will return to California State Parks, San Onofre State Beach, Lower Trestles. The 2022 Rip Curl WSL Finals waiting period will run from September 8 – 16, an ideal time of year for solid Southern Hemisphere swells to light up the cobblestone point of one of the most high-performance waves in the world.

At the conclusion of the regular 2022 CT season, the top five men and top five women on the CT rankings will head to Lowers in San Clemente where they will battle head-to-head for the World Title.

“The inaugural edition of the Rip Curl WSL Finals was an incredible success,” said Erik Logan, WSL CEO. “To see the WSL Final 5 go head-to-head in amazing waves and to witness the women’s and men’s World Titles be decided on the same day, in the water, for the first time was special. This new format captivated our audience and drove consumption like never before and was the most-watched day of professional surfing with the largest live digital audience in WSL history. We are excited to return to Lowers this season.”

Rip Curl’s commitment and support of professional surfing continues through the three-year partnership of the Rip Curl WSL Finals.

“We’re incredibly supportive of the return to Lower Trestles for the 2022 Rip Curl WSL Finals,” said Brooke Farris, Rip Curl CEO. “As a world-class, high-performance wave, it’s the perfect canvas for the world’s best surfers to push the boundaries of what’s possible in the water. While our brand was born at Bells Beach Australia, Rip Curl has an incredible heritage at Trestles, the surfing heart of California. We’re beyond excited to continue building on our brand’s legacy as we partner with the WSL to crown the undisputed world champions of surfing.”


Surf Lakes’ post-apocalyptic plunger to make possible United States debut at 30-acre surf and action park near Tampa Bay, Florida!

Wave technology wars heat up.

The most visually striking of all the wave-making technologies is, without a doubt, Mark Occhilupo’s Surf Lakes. The rusty plunger rising from the middle of a pond in gorgeous Yeppoon, Australia looks as it it was borrowed from Mad Max Fury Road or maybe Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. That hiss of steam, those five peaks pulsing outward.

Neat but tenable?

The plunger had a multitude of initial problems, stress fractures and the like, but might be ready for its international debut which may just be near Tampa Bay, Florida.

Per the report:

A large, outdoor surf and adventure park is soon headed to the Tampa Bay area.

Peak Surf Park will span 30 acres and will be built in either Hillsborough or Pinellas County. It will cost between $60 to $70 million to build, depending on factors such as land cost.

Founder Tony Miller said he hopes to lock in on a location in the coming months.

The park will feature not only surfing, but biking, skating and climbing. It will also feature a half-mile long beach, as well as restaurants and bars to host concerts and events.

Peak Surf Park is working with Surf Lakes in Australia. According to their website, the technology in the pool delivers five different levels of waves that break at the same time, for beginner to pro surfers.


Are you pre-booking your ticket to Tampa Bay?

I believe the city has more strip clubs, per capita, than any other in America.

It also has Tom Brady.

Much to do and see when not barreling.