Machado (pictured) outside curtain'd van.
Machado (pictured) outside curtain'd van.

Controversy explodes as surfers trade blows over whether vans with curtains covering windows belong exclusively to perverts or are an acceptable post-session setup!

Hot topic.

Unexpected controversy exploded over the surf landscape, hours ago, as surfers fell into opposing camps around one hot topic and began trading vicious barbs. At issue, do vans with curtains covering windows belong exclusively to perverts and sex menaces or are they an appropriate set-up for post-session changings etc?

David Lee Scales brought the scenario up on our weekly chat, recently, and I imagined the truth was obvious. For debauchees. I did not know, though, that many in our community appreciate the aesthetic. My phone blew right up with surfers accusing me of deviant-ism, of profiling, of painting with too broad a moustache.

Included, one Rob Machado who coldly declared, “My van has curtains and they fucking rule.”

Rob Machado and Chas Smith go to the Supermarket!

So where do you stand?

#TeamMasturbatorium or #TeamAllowedWithin100ftOfSchools?

David Lee and I also discussed skimboarding. All in all a very fine program.

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Axel pose
Axel pose
4 years ago

Wsl needs open journalism

Axel pose
Axel pose
4 years ago

I have a friend david Lee who lives in a van with curtains. His women lives in it with him when she’s not traveling. This is not him. He’s a lot more interesting. I think there’s something else the perv van needs? Like if chas was in the van it would make the both of them seem more pervy, chas and the van, because of his look. Machado in the van with dreads looks like a weed smoking hippie, like the vans purpose is surfboards and bong hits. No room for perving. Now graveys van would be questionable if he wore wife beaters and duble lensend aviators and had a handle bar stash like Donavan. Kelly and johna. in a van would have the FBi’s infoguard gang stalking in seconds!

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

Only just listening now.
The word you are looking for is ‘paniolo’.

Italus
Italus
4 years ago

If Bill Shakespeare was a Surfer, he’d say “Much ado about nothing Dudes” !

gemstoneprincess
gemstoneprincess
4 years ago

Listen idiots…perverts use hard sided vans like painters vans or plumbers vans, not vans with curtains that can be ripped off by desperate women trying to escape. Now I am not saying that there aren’t lovers in the vans with curtains and I am not saying there are not kids and pets in those vans either, I am saying the curtains say it is none of your business. But no one is going to try and pull a Bundy in a van who’s curtains can and will absorb DNA…and yeah there may be an occasional perv, but most guys are when they want some and the chick is trying to be honest and get to know you and see if she really likes you. Sex is much more personal for most women..
That said, but what separates a perv from a guy hoping and trying his damnest to get some, is him easing up, telling the girl, you turn me on, but let’s call it a night or afternoon, or whatever, and call her for a real date. At that point go grab your board and cool off in the ocean a bit and reflect about what an awesome girl you get to see tomorrow…That there is the difference between a perv, a man and a boy.

robinson mike
robinson mike
4 years ago

4wd, curtains, wood burner (it gets cold up here 5/4/3 hooded 6 in winter), pop top & porn. Saor Alba 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇪🇺

Anthony havey
Anthony havey
4 years ago

When the settlers came west in wagons with all they owned in life. Facing dangers that very few in today’s make up of lesser members of mankind. Yeah lesser types, of men and women I believe have what it took to face such an under taking. So when I see Americans doing what they have to in order to seek and stay free . If a van or camper is in place I can’t help but to thank of the truest of American people

Nick Kiefer
Nick Kiefer
4 years ago

Is this the most ridiculous, meaningless, sensationalistic-whore “journalism” ever posted to this clown of a surf rag, BitchGrit? We think so…

Rob Tran
Rob Tran
4 years ago

Curtains are great for a nap . As a grown person there is no need for me to park within 100 feet of a school only legends can get away with that . The greatest thing about curtains is how much stuff I can do without anybody seeing .

Jamey Thomas
Jamey Thomas
4 years ago

Competitive Surfing?
Good show this one’ Seems like the problem with competitive surfing is that the stewardship is so poor. In order to see the best surfers competing on the best waves, as you said, requires all sorts of inputs to happen, things working together over time: all the training and competing the surfers have done, the people producing the event, the coverage and transmission of the event, and all the relationships the money side of it requires (sponsorships, merchandise and such). Travel, more or less required to make your name in surfing, is feeling increasingly problematic, ethically and logistically. For fans surfing is way more compelling when the waves are consequential. Poor waves can make it unwatchable (and shifts a huge weight onto the commentary team). Wanting to monetize surfing and nurture it at the same time are challenging. Am I right to say it is a global sport whose audience only grows beyond surfers in Brazil and Australia? And wouldn’t most agree that big time pro sports like the NFL offer a shitty fan experience top to bottom, I mean unless you are in the luxury box or courtside. For me surfing needs someone running it who isn’t trying to make it a growth business, happy maybe just making some money out of it, get the lower levels better integrated and structured so competitors are supported and have clarity, and then put on the top level events at the spots with really good waves. As a very casual pro surfing fan I find that trying to follow it as a sport is difficult and confusing. I don’t know what there is beyond the youtube stuff or wsl site for a fan (comment threads???). One could imagine it all breaking up and the lower level going more local with higher level events becoming more stand alone. For me it is kind of crap and kind of getting crappier. I will still keep tuning in to see what’s up when the waves get good.
FYI, I don’t self identify as a surfer or surf fan but I have followed it casually for a long time and definitely know what youtube offers the surf fan.

Gtodan02
Gtodan02
4 years ago

That chick with the red van needs to shave

Gtodan02
Gtodan02
4 years ago

Enjoy surfing while you can, you got 10 more years until the oceans currents start to slow down.in another 10 there gonna stop . Then it’s over

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  Gtodan02

WHOA why are you preaching hell, fire and damnation on a Saturday? BTW, you’re wrong…but carry on!

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

yeah, too early to be wipping up a frenzy, but not too late to watch Zeke hip-hoppin on his 1st wave in the quarters…gonna pace myself and save the best for finals day…whenever that occurs. I’ll wait for the WSL booth progressive lefties to declare that!

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

I think my oldest is at HB watching the crowd, oops I mean the surfing today…

Eddie Brown
Eddie Brown
4 years ago

That’s what pup tents are for.

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
4 years ago

Rob needs the curtains so he can close off the sight of his daily crying brought on when he thinks about the world title he handed to Kelly ( high five bro) which in turn resulted in him living in a car with curtains rather than a beachfront house at pipeline .

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

historical headline rehashed! good 1.

gemstoneprincess
gemstoneprincess
4 years ago

I own a beach house down in Nicaragua…what’s the point? We all lose one, but he had to win one first to lose it…so what’s the point…To curtain or not to curtain? I think Covid has got to the brain and reduced it to a third grade level…

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

no grants, no commercials…not buying the odds

Working Class Hero
Working Class Hero
4 years ago

Big hanging, dangling beef curtains!

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

WEALTHY CULTURALLY-APPROPRIATING PSUEDO-RASTAFARIAN MACHADO BACKHANDS TRUST-FUNDED SURF JOURNALIST SMITH IN PARKING LOT OVER DISAGREEMENT INVOLVING THE AESTHETICS OF PLEATED FABRIC PLACEMENT.

astro
astro
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Is that some kind of reach around variant ?
I think so.
They both should be banned from anywhere near a school.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  astro

It’s not the ‘overhand toss’ if that that’s what you’re implying.

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I love the post BUT I struggle with all caps this early and before I’ve finished my coffee

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

Apologies. The shouty style is de rigueur for headlines.

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I ONCE WORKED FOR A WALL STREET CEO WHO SAID “APOLOGIES ARE A SIGN OF WEAKNESS” Fuck him as I appreciate folks who apologies even when it isn’t necessary!

Its all good and the coffee was great this AM!

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

today’s catch sandwich, VTA…not available at the fair…like tina turner/$6.99 COD.https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.ne…

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

Good call on the peperoccini.

samwaters
samwaters
4 years ago

I have stock curtains in my 85 Westphalia pop-up, but obviously it’s a camper, and not very threatening.
Rob’s van in person (Cardiff Reef) is just plain creepy looking, he named it well.

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
4 years ago

Always so divisive C.
Why can you not evolve your thoughts beyond medieval times?
I know as a old surf media type it’s difficult for you to grasp that fully fictional thinking is possible and that there is now more to consider than just Rip Curl, Billabong and Quicksilver but try, just add one different thought every day and once you can consider 10 ideas without a mental meltdown , push yourself over the ledge and dare to consider a idea you have a deep aversion too!

Rather than just live and think like it’s still 1986 and place your thoughts and stories in well defined separate boxes with poor links to connect them.
Break free.

Are you still there C?

I’m about blow your medieval thought process out of the 1800”s and force you to ( possibly for the first time) to confront your living in 2022.

I have a van.
Curtains one side, non the other.

Stay calm C, come back in a few hours and read it again.

If you can’t sleep from confusion.

Read a article on surfline, you will fall straight to sleep a few sentences in.

Alternative lifestyle and thoughts , while surfing pretends to embrace is actually shunned by surfers, they as a majority very conservative and can only really enjoy sex in the missionary position.

John Non John
John Non John
4 years ago

NonJohn has no idea what you say here, but am in total agreement

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago

What color is the sprinter van?

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago

Please share whether your curtains are color coordinated with the van and is the van a classic VW Kombi, a Sprinter or domestic aka Ford or Chevy? What about stickers in the windows? BUT more importantly has your van driven across the heartland like Chas did on his way to drop of the VW at Mecca, oops I mean Vanderbilt

don newton
don newton
4 years ago

86′?? You are youngins’!


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