The GOAT is dead. Long live the GOAT?
This Outerknown Tahiti Pro has been nothing if not one surprise after another. From Surfline describing the swell forecast, lightly early, in cartoonish fashion to the women being tossed into trash to the aforementioned cartoonish swell materializing, contest owner Kelly Slater pushing pause just so the waves would fill and he could deeply shame current world number one Filipe Toledo by trading barrels with an elder employee while Toledo sat scared to…
Local mana, I suppose.
Too much surprise to appropriately distill but semifinal heat number one is worth an attempt.
Here we have Kelly Slater, aforementioned, the world’s greatest surfer who has won eleven world titles and put on an absolute show in yesterday’s cartoon, getting annihilated by local wildcard, trials winner, Kauli Vaast.
There were barrels.
There were deeper barrels.
There were turns, switch stances, “hula hooping” in what Peter Mel described as “the best surfing” he’s “ever seen done in Tahiti.
Zero by Slater.
Only by Vaast.
A performance so extreme, so carnal, that it caused WSL commenters Mel and Kaipo G to openly mock the judges for underscoring the local Vaast on his circus surfing.
Strider, an admitted Slater fan, declared, “Kelly’s putting on his glasses out here, trying to find his keys.”
An utter spit roast of the GOAT.
Echoes of when pro juniors Slater and Shane Dorian, decades ago, humiliated their Australian elders by surfing switch, having fun, doing what comes easy to the youth.
Slater, on the other hand, reprised Filipe Toledo by almost not catching a wave. Oh, he certainly wasn’t scared but also certainly stunned. A bolt to the head.
The GOAT is dead.
Long live the GOAT.
Miguel pupo is my selection for world title contender he is my spirit animal for 2023 Miguel pupo are you looking for a single board caddy for any single event next year I’ll be the man Good luck to you if not I desire to be your board caddy I wish for it sometimes Peace when love ya
Chas Smith… Your a kook. 3rd place in Tahiti at 50 years old. GOATish things
so much for those Outerknown trunks… pun intended
Too bad they couldn’t hold the finals on Thursday in pumping surf. Kelly kept waiting for a bomb that never came. No question he’s nowhere near his top form anymore but he still managed to finish the year ranked 15th in the world at age 50, which is bonkers. And in big draining barrels he’s still the man to beat.
Even if he doesn’t qualify hell get EVERY wildcard or WSL will just create a special lifetime GOAT exception. …probably one conceived and suggested by Slater himself.
As much as I cringe at what Kelly sometimes says, this is unfair as any truly competitors will tell u. Sometimes your typical strategy might not work. Waiting for the sets. Holding priority. The local just took and got lucky with the smaller runners under Kelly’s priority. It happens, Kelly has used this tactic himself. That’s all and that’s the truth of the matter…
They changed the contest locations this year (although you know they will deny it) to more barrelling waves to specifically fit Kelly’s now old stiff man surfing style, hoping he would win a contest or two and put him in contention for one last world title trophy, on his farewell tour but except for Pipe, the rest of the farewell tour has been a dud for Kelly. Age catches up to everyone. You can’t beat it. You can’t delay it. He had a hell of a run and honestly should probably have had 1 or 2 more titles if it weren’t for bad judging. 🤷
Well at least KS doesn’t poop himself or wonder what day it is…
Kelly was so rattled he couldn’t even bring himself to do his Breitling ambassador duties at awards ceremony on boat. Just hands Pupo the watch. Probably already had it sized for his wrist the night before.
Kelly made a pretty clear and conscious decision to not surf that heat. He did not even attempt to catch a wave until there was 1 min or so left. So, whether it was to help Kauli or to keep the main sponsor out of the final, and avoid some conflicts of interest, either way Slater didn’t surf. And he was certainly capable, physically.
At least someone noticed that. This contest meant to Slater other than sponsoring it. He tried to help a local kid, good on him.
All kidding aside it appears to be a passing of the torch, a butane torch, but a torch just the same! KS rose a few notches in my eyes…
Sorry, I ain’t buying that. Kelly suddenly overcome with compassion for the rookie? After decades of feasting on destroying the dreams of the new up and coming?
Naw. Kelz choked and failed to get the waves he needed in a dieing swell.
the local caught the first wave, then the sets of the day rolled everybody, including Kelly. he knew the bombs were the biggest scores, so he waited for another one (or tw0). and it never came. that strategy has served him well here.
Yeah I think there is certainly scope for this thought. I definitely saw waves Kelly could have caught but didn’t make any move for them. When your that far back in a comp you and you wanted to win you would certainly go for anything. I think Kelly threw that heat. Always interesting to see the critics rise to the bait so quickly. Another example of the complexity of Kelly. Great surfing by Vaast. Congrats on awesome surfing
What was the Vegas line on this round and who placed what money on Vaast? Vaast put on a show for the ages and should be named king of that rock!
On the current format all he has to do is do really well at Pipe and he qualifies for the next year,like this year.
First off , peter Mel is a idiot and jaipo is a has been …just 2 morons sitting on a couch mouthing off ….Mel couldn’t even make or handle the drops at this place , it’s just to old chickens kackaling ….end of story …have more respect for the G O A T
What will we remember of Slater by the end of this event? Making it to semis or being chocked by a grome?
ABSOLUTE WORST WRITING EVER. First paragraph was horrible. PLEASE FIRE THIS TOTAL SCHMUCKO chris smith
Sure buddy.
Absolutely correct bro
I agree. It seems to have been written by someone who recently quit crystal meth and who is now floating through the void of low dopamine levels, where concentration lasts a mere pico second.
I hope you recover soon Chas Smith.
I thought it was an auto-translation.
50 yr old wins pipe and semis at chopes. GOAT indeed. Too bad Gland sucked or we may have seen a top 3 finish there too. He can do it again next yr at 51. And so on.
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Kelly should look at his watch.
Times up
The waves were rather underwhelming, but Kauli certainly knew how to pick up up the tiny runners on the inside. Local knowledge running rings around a globe-bestriding behemoth.
pls wsl lose that tape already… (kelly immediately post sf)
The Goat laid down at his own contest for a Fiji local. (Edit:Tahiti….lame) Im cool with it.
Except it’s in Tahiti.
Dabs
3rd place, yeah Kelly’s a total kook now, OMG!
I agree, he was over scored in the quarters. How lame would it be if he won his own contest? Plus he showed respect to Tahiti. Classy move on his part.
A vaast difference between them in that heat…
(Kelly needs a tattoo, a Lion on his heart would look good)
Nah a goat would be more relevant.