Gals at Walmart giving hell to each other over the last trout-emblazoned tee. Inset,the dazzling Yvon Chouinard.

The world’s most beloved philanthropist and Walmart slayer Yvon Chouinard goes after The Gap, accusing the controversial brand of “illegally copying Patagonia’s iconic snapped flap pocket!”

A battle of the ugly!

You’ll remember just two months ago, Yvon Chouinard’s sensational decision to give away Patagonia, the company he spent the last fifty years building into the multi-billion dollar operation it is today. 

“He who dies with the least toys wins,” said Yvon. “Because the more you know, the less you need… I was in Forbes magazine listed as a billionaire, which really, really pissed me off. I don’t have $1 billion in the bank. I don’t drive Lexuses.”

Instead of selling Patagonia or taking it public, Yves, who is eighty-three, transferred his family’s ownership of the company into a trust and no-for-profit, “created to preserve the company’s independence and ensure that all of its profits — some $100 million a year — are used to combat climate change and protect undeveloped land around the globe.”

Wild etc. 

Now, only onth month month after hitting WalMat with a lawsuit for allegedly infringing its trademarked logo of a trout, Patagonia is suing The Gap for illegally copying the “iconic” snapped flap pocket seen on its fleece outerwear since 1985 and included in exhibitions at New York’s Museum of Modern Art and London’s Victoria & Albert Museum.

 

Yvon’s trout v Walmart’s trout.

Patagonia said Gap is “wilfully and deliberately selling fleece jackets that mimic its flap pocket and rectangular ‘P-6’ logo without permission.”

Patagonia said it had warned Gap previously for copying its gear and said, “(The) adoption of designs and logos bearing even more similarity cannot have occurred by accident.”

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The "Notorious MMA" really lit into the aforementioned Rogan, hours ago, on social media calling him a "f*cking tick" and declaring, "Proper Twelve blow the jaw off you stick to that other gick boondock head" and "Ye well this is springbok. You ever see a springbok jump? We’ll just have a look at that knee springbok into this eye sock hahahaja I’m the goat of unseen shots. That’s without question."

Once-great mixed martial artist Conor McGregor launches devastating fusillade at noted surf personality interviewer Joe Rogan: “Call the cops. F*cking tick, you!”

Heavy.

Nobody interviews the world’s most notable, important and famous surfers like Joe Rogan. The comedian/actor-turned-podcaster has mined absolute gold from the likes of Laird Hamilton, Shane Dorian, Kelly Slater. Allowing the super-sized personalities space to roam, to match wits, to titillate and educate.

Rogan’s surf kink is matched only by his love of mixed martial art tangling, a sport known for its blood splatters and larger-than-life personalities such as Conor McGregor.

Well, the “Notorious MMA” really lit into the aforementioned Rogan, hours ago, on social media calling him a “f*cking tick” and declaring, “Proper Twelve blow the jaw off you stick to that other gick boondock head” and “Ye well this is springbok. You ever see a springbok jump? We’ll just have a look at that knee springbok into this eye sock hahahaja I’m the goat of unseen shots. That’s without question.”

The question for you, here though, revolves around gick boondocks but also MMA personalities vs. surf ones. Between Paddy Pimblett and Conor McGregor, Ireland I suppose, and any professional surfer you can think of, who wins? The World Surf League very much tried to re-imagine pre-bout tension during the latest Final’s Day, there on Lower Trestles famed cobbled stone, but it was an objective disaster.

I was there, watching, and while Chris Cotê handled his role as Michael Buffer well, the surfers seemed uninterested in engaging and/or embarrassed facing each other down.

Slinging insults.

So there we go.

Do you wish surfers were more fiery or are you happy with the Sport of Kings staying above the fray?

Hmmmm.

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Traditionally timid surf-adjacent website The Inertia wades directly into controversial culture war ahead of Black Friday, releases exhaustive review of “pregnancy pants for men!”

Birthing people.

The Inertia, which bills itself as the definitive voice of surfing and the outdoors, has been on a climb rarely witnessed in either surfing or outdoors since its inception some 10ish years ago. Namely, becoming the most milquetoast safe space on the internet, making even The Huffington Post appear tough and mean.

Impossibly soft.

Media watchers have been constantly surprised by the new heights of mollycoddle reached by The Inertia and, so, were stunned when the outlet released its exhaustive guide to pregnancy pants for men ahead of Black Friday entering itself directly into the nasty culture wars.

“Birthing people,” as you might know, being forced into the dialect by some on the extreme woke as “woman” is an exclusionary term.

Per founder Zack Weisberg:

A great pair of joggers is a revelation. Plain and simple. In the pandemic era, joggers have become much more than what they used to be. Where sweatpants have historically been reserved for after dinner or a lazy Sunday morning, like it or not, their sophisticated sibling, joggers, have become a staple of waking life. In the work-from-home age, joggers are a 24-7 uniform for the digital workforce. If you’re a remote or hybrid worker, chances are, you’ve purchased a pair since things became more home-centric. You may have received a pair as a gift, and, if you’re like me, you might have wondered, “If I’m going to work from home, what is the most comfortable outfit I can possibly wear while maintaining a modicum of self-respect (and professionalism)?”

The “joggers” were rated on comfort and stylishness with Vuori taking three of the six categories including “best performance jogger.”

Best, also, for postpartum.

Self-care.

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Medina (left) comforting Neymar Jr.
Medina (left) comforting Neymar Jr.

Bicurious surf fans dabbling in World Cup Soccer heartbroken to see Gabriel Medina’s “wildly close” pal Neymar Jr. go down with twisted ankle in first game!

Blackest Friday.

While Ben Gravy rehabilitates his shattered collarbone and before the start of Haleiwa, can we surf fans turn our scrutiny, for just one moment, to soccer? Oh as an American it is not the primary game that I follow, nor I suspect you, but here we are at the four year bash dubbed the “World Cup” and it is impossible not to pay attention. To wonder what life might be liked cheering for a sport with actual fans instead of you, me, JP Currie and 8 million figments of WSL CEO Erik Logan’s imagination.

My United States takes on England in but an hour and I am torn on where my rooting interests should lie. The country where I live or the country with superior ballet.

Hmmmm.

Also, I was very surprised and saddened to see Neymar Jr. go down with a twisted ankle in Brazil’s opener against Serbia. Surf fans are, likely, only aware of the star as surf champion Gabriel Medina’s “wildly close” pal and of the friendship that caused much furor in the land of order and progress, media speculating that it was “not normal to see two men like this.

Neymar Jr. and Danilo, another star but without a surf connection, both hit Qatar’s manicured turf and were unable to return to action.

Per CNN:

Brazilian team doctor Rodrigo Lasmar confirmed both players will miss the team’s next match against Switzerland on Monday, but remained hopeful they would play again in the tournament.

“We thought it was important to do an image exam, an MRI so that we had more data on the evolution of the two players,” Lasmar said.

“The scans showed a lateral ligament injury to Neymar’s right ankle along with a small bone swelling. And a medial ligament injury to Danilo’s left ankle.

“Players remain in treatment. It is very important for us to be very calm, peaceful, this assessment will be carried out daily so that we have information and make the best decisions based on that.

“We can already say that we will not have the two players for our next game, but they remain in treatment with our objective of trying to recover in time for this competition.”

Light a candle?

David Lee Scales and I did not discuss Neymar Jr. on today’s podcast but we did discuss Gabriel Medina and also Kanoa Igarashi. Worth a listen while you Black Friday.

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“Woody Harrelson lookalike” surf icon who was hospitalised following horror wipeout shocks fans with updated prognosis, “It’s worse than previously thought. A lot worse!”

“I’m here, I’m still breathing, I’m walking, I’m talking…”

The beloved surf YouTuber Ben Gravy, who bears a “striking resemblance to Woody Harrelson”, has updated fans on the state of his collarbone following a horror wipeout at El Slammo in New Jersey last week.

Gravy, a high-end intermediate surfer who has almost two-hundred thousand followers, shattered his collar bone in four places at the experts-only wave in Longport, a pretty little Jersey borough pointed at the Atlantic. 

“I never saw this coming. I went for a casual surf this morning & never, ever thought that I would end up with a shattered collarbone,” Gravy said. “I’m surprised, I’m baffled, I’m disappointed and I’m confused.”

Gravy, who is thirty-four and who surfed all fifty American states in 2017 for his insanely popular YouTube channel, gobsmacked his legion of fans today when he revealed the extent of the injury. 

“It’s pretty shocking. The break is a lot worse than previously thought,” he says. “I thought I’d walk away clean and it’s not the case.” 

Still, the reformed drunk, “I was getting wasted every day, ten, twenty cans,” is using his trademark optimism to get him through. 

“I’m here, I’m still breathing, I’m walking, I’m talking,” he says. 

According to Statsmash, Ben is worth seventy-eight thousand dollars and earned thirteen dollars today, eighteen dollars yesterday for a total of $218 for the week.

Unmissable. 

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