The wedding, like all, was a whirlwind, but in the eye of the storm, John and Lauryn cherished a moment to breathe. “It was such a nice time after the ceremony,” reminisces Lauryn. “The air was magical—salty mist coming from Waimea Beach over the canopies. It felt like just us two, wandering the gardens.” | Photo: Vogue

Vogue magazine swoons over John John Florence’s “lush, bohemian” wedding to horticulture student with wild behind-the-scenes photo spread, “Laying down on the hot beach at midday, he made me ‘look over there’ as he grabbed the ring his mother had given him as a placeholder!”

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

A few days before Christmas, the shaggy haired boy who enchanted the world in Vogue fashion spreads and as the first tweenie to ride Pipeline married his long-time girlfriend, the Australian Lauryn Cribb.

The thirty year old Florence proposed to his long-time girlfriend, a model turned horticulture student, in 2019 using a diamond ring his mama Alex had found on the beach and right before a one-month yacht voyage.

“It was a blazing hot day, he was so nervous that he didn’t want to go in the water even though we were both sweating profusely,” Cribb, now Florence, told Vogue in an interview that forms a lavish spread of the wedding, including wild after-party photos. “He had a knee injury, so you can imagine I didn’t get the cookie cutter dropped knee proposal. Laying down on the hot beach at midday, he made me “look over there” as he grabbed the ring his mother had given him as a placeholder.”

The pair were married in the nearby Waimea Valley although torrential rains, the same storms that created an epic river wave that nearly slaughtered sad-eyed degenerate Jamie O’Brien, almost forced a switcharoo of locations.

“The Waimea River actually flooded the venue the day before, which, despite our concerns and the outcome the day of, is considered good fortune when the river is flowing,” said Cribb. “We were very lucky it subsided and the grounds were not at all muddy or wet.”

In the photo spread, which you can examine here, we find the couple and their myriad friends dancing the night away under a grand marquee festooned with lights, the happy couple hoisted upon guest’s shoulders, forming a miracle of love against the heavens.

“You know you’re in love,” said ol’ Dr Seuss, “when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”


Mitchell (pictured) free and easy. Photo: @fred_pompermayer

Big wave stud Jamie Mitchell flashes legendary temper after overcrowding, general rudeness lead to injury at maxing Todos Santos!

A whole new hell.

Big wave stud muffins are a breed unto themselves. Forever linked to forecasting tools, ready to travel halfway around the world at a second’s notice, prepared, gutsy, united in an often unsung pursuit for glory. Now, any student of that particular art is well aware of Jamie Mitchell. The brave beast hunter is known for slaying outer reef bombs, alongside being the 10x Molokai to Oahu paddle champion, and his legendary temper which he flashed after a session at Todos Santos on Friday the 13th.

Taking to Instagram, Mitchell penned:

Friday the 13th . Mixed emotions to be honest . Our crew was prepared and ready for a epic day of waves . Sometimes the universe has other plans . If i’m being honest a disappointing day for the big wave community regarding the safety of each individual. I won’t dive to deep here on SM but things need to change. Grateful that everyone is safe and home back to there families. It’s been a wild 10 days to say the least but wouldn’t change it for the world. Mucho gracias @gerglong and @jojoroper Love you guys . And the rest of the pit crew @flickpalmateer @lucapadua @arefrapwell @nuttynulty @nlcphoto @hargrave @coxbox12 #mango #chapmanmurphy @ian.walsh @paigealms. Back home to regroup , rest and some family time. Last but very not least to my amazing wife and family for supporting me always. I (heart) you guys.

Oh.

I suppose Jamie Mitchell does not, in fact, have a legendary temper. I’ve had the honor of spending some time with him on a boat in Teahupo’o and he could not have been kinder nor more gracious. Reading between the “disappointing” and “no deep dive,” witness reported that the Todos Santos lineup was absolutely clogged with very aggressive go-getters. So aggressive, in fact, that Mexican legend Coco Nogales became injured.

The situation mirrors a recent day at Waimea where some who did not belong paddled anyhow and went straight, sending more legends to the hospital.

But is this the big wave future?

Lineups packed and combative?

Mark Zuckerberg shaking his fist while demanding his own?

Apocalypse now.


Open Thread: Comment Live on Da Hui’s famed Backdoor Shootout as viewer numbers soar past World Surf League Pipeline Pro, Vans Pipe Masters!

Biggest little surf contest in the world!


Ageism dealt heavy blow as Baby surfs monster wave at Jaws!

"This is gonna’ be the best wave of my life."

The Ocean Pacific has been alive with pleasure for multiple weeks now delighting surfers from Hawaii to California whilst terrifying beachfront homeowners. So much action. Nature’s gorgeous hammer. And any surfer, worth her salt, has certainly paddled into the XL and, likely, cosplayed as a Waimea or Jaws charger.

I certainly did, yesterday mid-morning, paddling out the front into what Surfline was calling 6 – 10 but it clearly being 20 – 30.

Oh yes, I was brave duck-diving those walls of water on my Album twin, jaw set, spinning on the first inside corner I could and getting an early score on the board but not as brave as the baby who was towed into a monster at Jaws dealing ageism a heavy blow.

The youngest person ever to catch one of the Maui beasts at 12-years-old, back in 2021, “Baby” Steve Roberson was towed into another, Wednesday, by the now legendary Billy Kemper.

“It was like a 40-foot back or maybe bigger,” Baby’s dad, Kaleo Roberson, told Hawaii News Now.

“I just saw this barrel coming and I knew I was like okay, here we go. I was like, this is gonna’ be the best wave of my life,” interjected Baby.

The beast, which initially looked like it was going to barrel, began to clamp forcing the extremely young man to straighten out and cop a heavy beating.

“It felt like I just got hit by a car or something right in my side and it put me into the water so fast and shot me up into the air and then I landed and got sucked over the falls,” he said.

After inflating his vest and getting bashed around a bit, Baby was rescued by a ski and declared, “The feeling like when I popped up is like a feeling like I’ve never had before. I just felt so alive and it was gnarly.”

I, for one, know how he felt-ish.

You can watch in its entirety here.


Four hundred pound Powerfish, inset, and drowning VAL. | Photo: Powerfish

Instagram Influencer slammed by fans for filming drowning vulnerable adult learner surfer blames his inaction on obesity, “I’m 180kg and very unfit, we both would’ve drowned!”

“No way I’m putting my life on the line!”

You’ll remember the great Australian influencer and philanthropist Willem “Powerfish” Ungermann from his brave attempts to smash surfing’s “entrenched homophobia and patriarchal power structures” via beach theatre and Jackass-style pranks.

Two years ago, Willem terrorised a D-Bah line-up on his bodyboard, at one point accepting a beach fight only to drop to his knees and tell his surprised fellow duellist, “I’ll suck you dry, mate.”

Between waves, he said to one surfer, “I fucked a bloke like you once”, another, “You’re lucky my dad Rex isn’t here, he’d smash your pelvis”, another, “Heard of the Bra Boys? We’re the Flatty Boys. Instead of going around bashing cunts, we fuck ’em”, another, “You know why I like surfing? When guys wear wetties and I can see their dick”, another he asks if he’s seen Ross Clarke-Jones’ cock and says, “I’ve fucking sucked it dry.”

Terrific fun and many important messages.

Now, Willem has come under fire for failing to help a surfer after the man’s legrope became entangled around the pylon of a pier. 

“Take your legroom off you idiot…moron!” he barks from behind the camera. 

Almost a minute into the affair, a swimmer jumps into the ocean and rescues the VAL.

“Fuck, lucky that guy went out,” Willem says. “I wasn’t going to get him, no way I’m putting my life on the line.” 

Commenters on the post went one of two ways. 

“Typical Aussie attitude, sit on your ass and watch.”’

“There is plenty of things you can do to help a human in distress or a life threatening situation than filming it!! Put yourself into action in any way you can help build a community quickly not content!!”

“You post all these lame excuses, after the fact of why you can’t go help, however it’s easy to see through your mouth full of crap. If you truly cared (as you are playing it off) then why are you calling him an “idiot” and a “Moron” “shouldn’t be there anyway” “that’ll teach you to surf a sunami” You are probably the VERY DEFFINITION of what is wrong with the world right now!! A HUMAN BEING WAS DROWNING RIGHT INFRONT OF YOUR EYES AND YOU DID NOTHING BUT CRITICIZE, BELITTLE AND JUDGE ALL WHILE HOLDING A PHONE TO VIDEO WHAT? THE POOR MAN DYING..GOING UNDER AND NOT COMMING BACK UP? I BET….THAT YOU WERE THINKING THE WHOLE TIME…”THIS GONNA GO VIRAL” I’M TAKING THIS VERY PERSONALLY BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE WHY SOCIETY IS AS DEGRADED AS IT IS. BTW BEFORE YOU GO REPLYING THAT YOU WERE GENUINELY CONCERNED, WHY DID YOU NOT EVER ONCE SAY “I’M SO GLAD HE OK” WHY MAN, WHY? FINAL THOUGHT…WHAT IF YOU, YOUR WIFE, KIDS,DOG WERE IN A SIMILAR SITUATION AND YOU OR THEY HAD TO WATCH A GUY FILMING AND YELLING SHIT AT THEM WHILE THEY DROWN. I REALLY HOPE YOU GET YOUR DUELY DESERVED KARMA AND SOON.”

Willem had responded with the very prosaic, “I’m about 100m up the beach zoomed in and besides that I’m 180kg (four hundred pounds) and very unfit, we both would of drowned. I’m trying to lose weight at the moment just in case something like this happens again and I can help.”

Others supported his decision to stay dry.

“Good on ya dog, is no use two of yahs in the flatly hole.”
“Absolutely right there bro ya got to be fit and have experience in the sea to pull something like that off one lucky dude.”

“Smart move knowing your abilities and not going in mate. Too many blokes end up dead trying to help a situation above their capability.”

“Some people don’t realise how difficult it is to swim in the ocean. Add on the fact of trying to save another person who is in distress. Well done to the guy who jumped in.”

Your response?

VAL wrapped around a pylon, he ain’t too far out.

Stay or go?