Boiling surf rage exposed at “one of the best waves in the world” Topanga Beach!


Those living in New England are currently breathing much easier even though Hurricane Lee is bearing down. President Joe Biden has just declared a state of emergency and I have officially arrived, ready to direct and advise. So far, a light blanket of clouds is covering the sky, in Vermont, and the temperature is a scary 68 degrees Fahrenheit. I am wandering the streets of a very cute historic town telling the Teva-clad locals not to worry. That they should horde just a little but otherwise put their favorite Phish album on the turntable, sip a little maple syrup and relax.

I’ve been through a hurricane, in Southern California, and am a survivor.

Speaking of Southern California, Topanga, just south from famous Malibu, made the hipster news today for its surf rage problem.

KCRW reported on various locals, like Donnie Wilson, a former professional who has been surfing Topanga since the 1970s. He said he’s been all over this blue earth surfing and claims, “(Topanga) the only spot in LA that gets a south and a north and a west swell, and it’s a point break. It’s one of the best waves in the world.”

Being such, though, surf rage. Wilson says he is part of the problem.

“I’ve been one of the ones guilty of [yelling] ‘get the fuck out of here kook. I’ve been cracking people since I was a kid. When I was in junior high or something, I fucking broke this dude’s nose.”

Pipeline East.

Chad White, who has been surfing Topanga for 40 years, also weighed in, declaring, “The really heavy guys are the ones that had to pay some real dues to surf here. In the 70s, it would be every time they came to surf here. They’d have to fight.”

Another nameless local shared his experience of being “fully chewed out by a Topangry 12-year-old girl, and fully got bullied into submission as a 34-year-old man who’s surfed here most of my life.”

“Topangry” being a portmanteau of “Topanga” and “angry.”

All of it fairly run-of-the-mill until Joshua Alexander enters the scene. He is black and has been surfing for two years but has already had many “racially charged” incidents in the water. He has been told to “go back to your hood” and “go back to China.”

Go back to China?

What sort of geographic weirdness is happening at Topanga?

In any case, Women have also had a rough go. Professional surfer Frankie Seely sharing, “Growing up, there was maybe one woman in the lineup as compared to like 20 guys. There’s a lot more women surfing (now). The ratio [of women] almost gets to the same as the men’s ratio in the water.”

Chad White even changes his tune at the end saying, “If you’re a local somewhere, [it] doesn’t mean that your job is to be an asshole. Maybe if you’re a local, your job is to be really helpful.”

Topanga becoming paradise on earth (minus misdirected racial slurs)?

Hope springs.

Surf star Caio Ibelli risks “unnatural looking results” after undergoing gruelling hair transplant surgery in Brazil!

See and marvel at Caio's miraculous transformation!

The Brazilian Caio Ibelli, he with the flawless patrician features and rosebud month who, repeatedly, garrotts world champion surfers, mostly John John Florence and Gabriel Media, but also including Kelly Slater, has undergone gruelling hair transplant surgery at a clinic in Brazil.

Details of the surgery are in Portuguese but the images are clear, Ibelli had been fighting baldness for at least five or so years, and has finally zigged where others, Slater, Julian Wilson, zagged.

Knowing little about the process, oh you should run your fingers through my lion’s mane, a rich nut brown with only a few grey tendrils, I asked AI to write five hundred words on the process in BeachGrit’s houses style.

Ah, my dear friends, today we embark on a follicular journey of epic proportions, a subject that many of us, at some point in our lives, have contemplated with both awe and trepidation: the hair transplant. Yes, that’s right, the miraculous transformation from a barren scalp to a luscious mane worthy of a Greek god. So, gather ’round, my follicle-challenged comrades, as we dive headfirst into the world of hair transplants, where vanity meets science in a symphony of hope and self-esteem restoration.

Picture this: a man (or woman) staring at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes locked on that ever-expanding bald spot, that cruel reminder of the inexorable passage of time. The receding hairline, the thinning crown – it’s a sight that can crush one’s confidence faster than a steamroller over a paper cup. But fret not, for in the modern age, we have a secret weapon against follicular despair: the hair transplant.

Now, you might wonder how this magic trick is performed. Well, it’s a dance of art and science, a tango between skilled surgeons and the marvels of medical technology. First, there’s the extraction phase, where healthy hair follicles are harvested from a donor site (often the back of the head), which typically boasts an abundance of lush, resistant hair. It’s like plucking the juiciest grapes from a vineyard.

Once these precious grafts are harvested, it’s time for the main act – the transplantation. The surgeon, armed with a fine-tipped needle or microblade, delicately implants these follicles into the barren wasteland of the recipient area, creating a new forest of hair where there once was a desolate plain. It’s like reforesting a deforested landscape, only with hair. The precision required is nothing short of surgical artistry, and in the hands of a skilled practitioner, the results can be truly breathtaking.

But, my dear readers, don’t be fooled into thinking that a hair transplant is a simple procedure with immediate, flawless results. Oh no, it’s a journey, a slow and steady march toward follicular redemption. After the surgery, there’s a recovery period, during which the newly transplanted hairs shed, leaving you with a temporary but nonetheless disconcerting hairless look. It’s like a caterpillar in its cocoon, undergoing a transformation into a magnificent butterfly.

Patience is the name of the game here, for in the weeks and months that follow, those dormant hair follicles gradually awaken from their slumber, sprouting new strands of hair. It’s like a symphony slowly building to its crescendo – a crescendo of confidence and newfound glory.

Of course, as with any endeavor, there are risks and potential pitfalls. Infection, scarring, and unnatural-looking results are all possible outcomes if the procedure is not performed by a skilled and experienced surgeon. But fear not, for the world of hair transplantation has come a long way. Modern techniques, such as follicular unit transplantation (FUT) and follicular unit extraction (FUE), have greatly improved the safety and naturalness of the results.

Now, my friends, let’s address the elephant in the room – cost. Hair transplants are not for the faint of wallet. The price tag can vary widely depending on the extent of the procedure and the geographic location of the clinic. But consider this an investment in yourself, an investment in confidence and self-assuredness that can pay dividends for years to come.

In conclusion, the world of hair transplants is a world of hope, a world where science and art converge to restore not just hair but also self-esteem and confidence. It’s a journey of patience, with the promise of a lush, vibrant mane at the end of the road. So, if you find yourself gazing at your reflection with follicular despair, remember that there’s a path to follicular redemption, and it’s paved with skilled surgeons, cutting-edge technology, and a dash of vanity. Embrace it, my friends, and let your hair flourish like a field of wildflowers in the springtime.

Hideous but a close approximation!

Watch Caio’s miraculous transformation here!

Medina (right) with Neymar Jr. (center) and volleyball gold medalist Bruno Rezende. @gabrielmedina

WSL again under siege after online sleuth claims Gabriel Medina was “robbed” of spot in world title showdown!

Little known glitch in the end-of-year points calculation dooms three-time world champ Medina.

The World Surf League, surfing’s governing body which is currently for sale if anyone wants the shrivelled grapes from that withered vine, is again under siege after an online sleuth claimed Gabriel Medina was “robbed” of a place on Finals Day at Lower Trestles.

You’ll remember in mid-August when, in rapidly deteriorating four-foot waves, surf fans fondled themselves into a state of near nervous collapse after Australian Jack Robinson muscled his way through Medina to win the Tahiti Pro and a spot on Finals Day.

Now, and via the shaper-centric podcast The Dust Up (episode, “What shit luck for Gabriel Medina”), John ‘Robbo’ Robertson reveals Medina’s place in the showdown was effectively stolen thanks to a little known glitch in the scoring system.

Correct me if I’m wrong and the old eyes do tend to glaze a little reading rule books, contracts and so on, but the old way of calculating the end of year ranking was to drop your two worst events and add up the result of, say, the other eight if it was a ten-event year. 

Robbo says, correct me if I’m wrong etc, that a surfer can drop one event in the first half, but not in the second, presuming they made the mid-year cut. Which means, it pays to come on relatively late in the season points wise. 

To wit, 

“Gabriel had a cracker first half of the year. Worst result was a 332o, a ninth maybe, and the back half of the year he had a shocker, worst result a 1330, a seventeenth at Rio and he had to keep it. That’s a 1990 points difference. The result (had he been able to throw away the 1330 not the 3320) would have taken him from sixth to fourth position in the ratings. Would’ve been in the top five. The only surfer who had a worst result in the back half of the year was Ethan and  Ethan’s was an injury.” 

Robbo gives a pretty good example of how the new way of calculating end of year points can go real bad. 

“Imagine if in the first events your worst result was a quarter-final. You’re top three in the world going into the back half the season. Going into the back half of the  season, you win two events…get injured and you miss the final three events. So the quarter-final is a throwaway.” 

Theoretically, and possibly, the surfer who dominated the year before tweaking their ankle or whatever misses Finals Day. 

Fascinating yes? 

Listen here, comes on real early in the poddy after the intro. 

Smith (foreground) on the way.
Smith (foreground) on the way.

Storm tested California surf journalist departs for New England in order to advise and direct as Hurricane Lee set to slam into region

Help on the way.

A California surf journalist is set to depart for New England, later today, in order to share advice and lend expertise to those living in the northeast, preparing themselves for Hurricane Lee.

The category 3 storm, maybe category 1 now, began its anticipated swing north, overnight, and is currently whipping Bermuda but will unleash upon northeastern America beginning tomorrow and lasting through the weekend.

CNN is reporting:

As of late Thursday morning, hurricane-force winds extend up to 90 miles from its center and tropical storm-force winds stretch for up to 310 miles, according to the hurricane center.

These strong winds will contribute to storm surge flooding up to 4 feet that could inundate parts of southeastern Massachusetts late Friday and Saturday. A storm surge watch has been issued for the area, including Cape Cod and Nantucket.

Heavy rainfall could pose an issue to already rain-drenched stretches of the Northeast, where saturated ground may be particularly susceptible to flash flooding. Lee’s heaviest rain will fall over portions of Maine Saturday, but states like New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Rhode Island are not completely in the clear.

While panic is, certainly, understandable for those living in Hurricane Lee’s projected path, they should be comforted knowing that Chas Smith, is on his way.

The 47-year-old has lived the vast majority of his life on America’s west coast, save stints in Papua New Guinea, Egypt, England and Australia, though had never experienced a hurricane until just three weeks ago when Hurricane Hilary plowed into Southern California.

While the region was gripped with fear and panic, Smith bravely set out for Catalina, an island just offshore, for an ill-advised sail odyssey with his two best friends. Though they were not allowed to moor in Avalon and were too hungry to overnight in nearby White’s Cove, the trio inspired by braving clouds in their return to Newport Beach where they dined on a butterleaf wedge salad, ceviche tostaditas, 22 oz bone-in ribeye and Atlantic lobster tail, all for sharing, at A Restaurant.

Though it rained later that night, the “100% success rate” in surviving a hurricane inspired.

Smith will share guidance when he arrives in Boston later this evening, then go on an advising and directing tour through New Hampshire and Vermont where he will show locals hoarding etiquette, sharing who to shame for being “irresponsible” and when plus providing tutorials on suffering rain while also, hopefully, dining on more Atlantic lobster tail.

His mere presence, certainly, buoying the entire very scared region.

David Lee Scales, anyhow, will be in Palm Springs.

The two discussed the World Surf League’s Finals Day, Kai Lenny calling Filipe Toledo out and Kelly Slater’s major hip surgery ahead of departures.

A culturally important listen.

Surfer bit on face by shark in Florida describes sensation falling somewhere between dog nip and “a bear trap closing in on me”

Ouch either way.

Florida’s New Smyrna Beach has the honorable distinction of being the “Shark Bite Capital of the World,” and it is, truly, well deserved. It seems as if there are near daily reports from the Central Florida gem of surfers being bit on hands, surfers being bit on feet, surfers being bit on buttocks, but never before have I read about surfers being bit on faces yet here we are.

A brave new day.

But let us meet Mark Sumsersett who hails from South Carolina though up in New Smyrna on a little surf vacation. He was out in the water, enjoying a little wedge here, a little wedge there, though noticing company in the water.

“I saw one (shark) right by me. I saw him cruising through the waves at me,” he told the local Fox News affiliate. I’m like,’What the heck? These guys out here don’t even care. They’re used to it.'”

And so he continued his surf, giving the lip a little smack here, giving the lip a little smack there, before coming undone.

That’s when disaster struck.

While the 39-year-old was underwater a shark bit him right on the face. “It was definitely a fight or flight situation,” he said and flighted to the shore where a woman called 911 and he was taken to a hospital and given over two dozen stitches.

But how does it feel to be bit on the face by a shark?

Summerset described thusly, “I got bit when I was a little kid by a dog, and it kind of felt like that, but like a bear trap closing in on me.”

There seems to be a wide gulf between those sensations but who am I to criticize for I have never been bitten on the face by a shark.

He will heal just fine, save “one or two scars,” which makes me wonder. What is the coolest scar in history?

I’ve got to go with Indiana Jones’s lip but Mark Summerset’s face might be way up there when all congealed.

Very chic.