Surf fans (right) wary. Photo: Don't Worry Darling
Surf fans (right) wary. Photo: Don't Worry Darling

Premium surf blog Stab drops self-affixed “trusted media of core surfers everywhere” moniker after marriage to World Surf League revealed!

But is the union already troubled?

The raging surf media war, which has captured hearts and minds over an otherwise dull weekend, is sadly dying down. Though who could have seen a poorly conducted, though otherwise innocuous, interview with the World Surf League’s Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer on the premium subscription surf blog Stab exploding into mutually assured destruction?

“Mutually” referring to Stab and the World Surf League, of course.

Certainly not me, referring to the “seeing it.”

But let us review the past few days’ events.

On September 20th, Stab published the World Surf League’s 2024 Championship Tour schedule hours before any other surf outlet, chasing it, later, with a softball interview with the World Surf League’s Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer, where no tough questions were asked.

After a small bit of tweaking from readers and anti-depressive surf sites over the goofy softball business, Stab’s founder Sam McIntosh became angry enough to publish The Dickhead Index in which he, very white teeth flashing, defended the commercial art of being a pussy.

JP Currie responded with a fierce takedown which led to comment threads here and there with even more revelations, from Stab’s editor-in-chief Mikey Ciamarella, detailing that the aforementioned Jessi Miley-Dyer was only allotted fifteen minutes of chat time and required a North Korea-esque minder to be on the phone.

Now, Sam and crew could have easily let the Miley-Dyer interview slide, taken a few licks in the comment section and moved on. In trying to defend, their cozy relationship was spectacularly blown up in what can only be called an act of sheer editorial incompetence.

“Paid media” is never supposed to be obvious. The payer, in this case the World Surf League, is already struggling with legitimacy and, therefore, attempting to curry quiet favor through favors (“access” and footage). The payee, in this case Stab, was supposed to simply provide cover while accepting said favors.

Instead, Stab made the notoriously controversy averse World Surf League look thirsty then pathetic, and also the center of an unfortunate story.

No doubt McIntosh is beating himself up, tonight, over the disaster he created.

World Surf League brass, likely, quietly fuming and reconsidering the coupling.

Well poisoned.


Another casualty?

Stab’s Google byline.

It used to read “Trusted media of core surfers everywhere.”

Now simply “We are writers, video editors, and photojournalists. But mostly, we just like to surf.”

Goodbye, integrity. I’m flying over you.

Two-time champ Tom Carroll and ancient head wound.

Iconic news broadcaster shamed after running three-year-old Tom Carroll head injury story!

"Four days ago," says Tom Carroll, "my fin collected me in the head."

A few days back, an item appeared on the Australian Broadcasting Commission’s news site, repurposing an Instagram story where the two-time world champ Tom Carroll recounts a terrible head injury at Off the Wall.

“So there’s my nicely broken, beautiful, six-five Rawson TC Impala…a beautiful quad fin that I broke at off the wall about four days ago during a wipeout, just pulling in. You know, pretty standard, pull in, jump forward, the board broke, the tail followed me in the barrel and the fin collected me…”

Here Thomas, who will turn sixty-two in November, peels off his helmet, which he wasn’t wearing in the wipeout to reveal a skull half peeled open with stitches from forehead to crown. 

“…just there! It would’ve been covered had I been wearing this puppy. This is a soft serve helmet which would’ve done the job. Even though it’s kind of annoying to put something on your head when you surf it’s not a bad idea. It would’ve saved me!”

Thomas, vividly described as “small and well-muscled with huge energy-storing thighs” and “a power surfer with uncommon finesse” then moves into some criticism of the helmet, some believing it might’ve made things worse. 

“See, the edge of this, there’s a little impression on the edge of the cut. Some may say that it could’ve lifted the edge of this up and possibly forced the board back into my eye. I’ve talked to some people about this…and…deliberated, as we do as humans, we like going over things, right, fact is, I’ve still got an eye, thankfully, and I’m wearing this more often!” 

I used to be a surfer once, and during my belle epoch years even travelled every year to the North Shore, and so a little alarm bell chimed in my head when I saw the piece. 

September? A little early to be getting decapitated at Off the Wall, no? And when was the last time Tom hit the North Shore so early? 

Turns out ol Tom got sliced in February 2020, shortly before a terrible pandemic shook the world off its rocker.

More poetry on Tom from you know who,

“In waves from four to 20 feet Carroll was a marvel: planting his back foot squarely over the tail section of his board and assuming a fencer’s stance, he adapted perfectly to the given surf break, drawing long and sinewy lines across the bottom-heavy rollers at Sunset, or hooking fiercely under the curl at Bells Beach, or flying arrowlike through the tube at Pipeline.” 

Skate fan made sad by Italo Ferreira's "move." Photo: The Basketball Diaries
Skate fan made sad by Italo Ferreira's "move." Photo: The Basketball Diaries

Surf champion Italo Ferreira accused of cultural appropriation after releasing “wacky” skateboard clip!

"You, sir, are no Jack Florence."

Having been in or around “extreme sports” for the better part of fifteen years, I have seen some things while drawing some conclusions. Professional skaters, snowboarders, surfers generally respect what each other do and are often passable in their non-dominant pursuit. Every paid snowboarder I know both surfs and skates. Most sponsored surfers I know snowboard. A handful of competitive skaters I know snowboard though none of them surf.

Still, a general respect and understanding of specific nuance, which makes surf champion Italo Ferreira’s recent clip that much more amazing.

In a spot of Cariuma shoes, the Brazilian ditches his trusty surfboard for a little quarterpipe session. Having seen Ferreira do all manner of crazy surf air, I was expecting greatness, so was shocked to see him awkwardly pump back and forth before the camera cuts to a stunt double’s feet doing a “trick” before a model comes out and snaps a pic of Ferreira faking a “move.”

It is truly like he’s never seen anyone skate before and might be considered straight satire but, with the obvious lack of any awareness, it simply falls into the accidental cultural appropriation bin.



I’m going to say “yes.”


Do you think you skate better than Italo, anyhow?

You, sir, are no Jack Florence.

Dora being mocked by KK (insert).

Miki Dora rolls over in grave after Malibu mayor accuses Kourtney Kardashian of lying about fake baby shower!

"City Staff Sells Out to Kardashian!"

It’s all circling the drain, man. President Biden flubbing LL Cool J’s name, Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner divorce getting nastier by the second even though she sits on the Iron Throne, Real Housewives of Orange County’s Shannon Beador driving into a house and copping a DUI after dinner at the very same restaurant that hosted this surf journalist and his brave friends after enduring “the weather event of the century.

Pop culture really on the ropes.

The biggest blow, though, happening in the very town where “California surf cool” was born.


For it was there, on the relatively unremarkable sands fronting First Point, that Mickey Dora, Tubesteak et. al. defined what it should look like to pursue the surfing life wholeheartedly. Shack livin’, beer drinkin’, all singing, all dancing crap of the world.

But now look at it. A VALs paradise where not even the extravagant baby showers are real.

That last bit became too much for Malibu’s mayor, Shell Silverstein, who put Bob Kardashian’s girl Kourtney on blast over the weekend after the influencer pulled a permit in order to host a “baby shower” which was, instead, a giant pool party for her multi-million dollar cosmetics line Poosh.

[The] City of Malibu Continues to Place Celebrities and the Uber Wealthy Over Residents: City Staff Sells Out to Kardashian and Grants Emergency Expedited Permit for Large Event in a Vacant Single-Family Home in Private Neighborhood,” Silverstein titled his modern poem before getting down to the meat.

As an elected official, however, I am appalled by the situation, and it helps me understand what residents throughout the city are dealing with. Not a good look for the city – although it is a great ad to non-residents who want to come here and destroy the residents’ peaceful enjoyment of their homes. I understand that the event has been represented to be a baby shower that is being hosted by the owner of the property. Both of those representations are contrary to what the event planner told me – which was that the house is being “rented” for an “influencer event.” Obviously, one story or the other is false.

Imagine the moral vacuum that must exist in one’s soul to use babies as bureaucratic shields.

Diplo, anyhow, attended.

Playing turntables while the Titanic sinks.

Diplo, man. Is there anywhere that guy ain’t?

Miki Dora rolling over in grave.

The old WSL judging tower at Teahupoo. | Photo: WSL

Wooden judging tower at Teahupoo to be destroyed and replaced by $5 million aluminium structure for “environmentally sustainable” Paris Olympic Games

A little rich, don't you think, given that Paris 2024 has positioned itself as the "sustainable" Games. 

Earlier today, the name of the Chinese-owned cargo ship that’s gonna host competitors and officials at Teahupoo for the Paris Games was named, details given and so on. 

The Aranui 5, which makes a 12-day circuit of French Polynesia every month, has been described as “the Pacific’s strangest cruise ship” and “the weird offspring of a love affair between a cargo freighter and a passenger liner.” 

It ain’t luxury by any stretch but a serviceable and pleasant enough joint to spend a couple of weeks on and necessary after a local Teahupoo hotel, which had been shut for 26 years, was unable be readied in time. 


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Locals, you’ll remember, are worried Teahupoo’s gonna get flattened by the Olympic influx. 

“I’d go to war to keep this place the way it is … We gotta keep Teahupo’o Teahupo’o,” Henry Tahurai told The Guardian. He says he’s “scared “of  what might happen to his “little piece of paradise… We’re not doing it for us, we’re doing it for the next generation.”

If you’ve ever been to this town of fifteen-hundred souls at the literal end of the road in Tahiti-iti, seventy clicks or so from the capital Papeete, you’ll know what a low-fi place it is outside of the annual WSL event there when the only noise you’ll hear is the great swoosh of water as Filipe reverse paddles into a set.

Anyway, as an aside to the announcement of the boat, Tahiti’s Minister of Youth and Sports Nahema Temarii said that the old wooden judging tower is gonna be torn down and replaced by a magnificent aluminium structure at a cost of €4.6 million or £3.9 million/$US5.1 million.

Necessary, I suppose, the old tower is rickety as hell, and who wants to be responsible for officials plunging to their doom after a cross-beam snaps and brings the whole thing down, but a little rich, don’t you think, given that Paris 2024 has positioned itself as the “sustainable” Games. 

But, then, what does sustainable mean in modern parlance?

From what I can tell, it means you make clothing or hardwoods in China, Bangladesh or wherever, paying extra to greasy figures for “carbon friendly” factories and for various environmental certifications before wrapping the final product in brown paper and placing a sticker on the paper fold announcing your climate-friendly bona fides.

Contest runs July 27 to July 30. Either gonna be epic or not.