Brilliant, horrifying, absolutely impossible to turn away from unless one happens to be named brave coward Filipe Toldeo.
Teahupo’o, or Alter Head, now, according to famed linguist Kaipo Guerrero, was the star of the day that may well have been the day of the 2024 World Surf League Championship Tour men’s season. Brilliant, horrifying, absolutely impossible to turn away from unless one happens to be named brave coward Filipe Toledo.
The Surfline forecast came true, WSL jinxing didn’t take hold until the very end and, at that very end, Italo Ferreira got the trinkets.
Posterity will celebrate the winner but there were so many moments worth remembering through the run.
Kelly Slater got gorgeously cocky in his quarterfinal loss to the “Rockin’ Moroccan” Ramzi Boukhaim, styling on a bomb before getting eaten whole but was otherwise vintage, especially when conjuring a score out of thin air in the round of 16. Boukhaim was a revelation both in the water and in front of the mic only coming undone in the semis.
Gabriel Medina strained Yeti and the World Surf League’s collaboration, almost winning two of the coveted YETI Tundras. John John Florence claimed that he was spitting up blood after a heavy wipeout, though the revelation was not chased by the commentary team nor mentioned again.
Alter Head revisited.
The heat that everyone wanted, John Florence versus Gabe Medina fizzled at the start, needing a restart, with the winner waiting to take on a 75% stoke-ed Italo Ferreira. Viewers were treated to more linguistic stylings until Medina went down on a tank, bloodying himself, smiling. Florence followed with a gaping 9.77. Basically a 10.00 if they hadn’t been outlawed moments earlier. His second wave, nothing spectacular, put Medina into a hard combination as opposed to the soft varietal.
Medina was the surfer of the day and let posterity remember that.
But Ferreira and Florence met at the end of the end of the road.
Florence took off first and got busted, Ferreira followed on a “wave of the day” according to Jesse Mendes who, somehow, became the lesser of evils over the course of the aforementioned one. Unfortunately, the broadcast missed Ferreira’s next channel igniter which, essentially, ended it for Florence before it even began for him.
Mana gives and mana takes, apparently.
Medina, though.
My goodness.
Oh wait. Florence just shot out of a wild one and almost undid himself via claim.
Never mind.
Full wrap from JP Currie tomorrow.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
yep, you got me.
I’m completely confused as to why a man would be so focused on tight buttholes
2 comments, 2 mentions of tight assholes/sphincters.
sounds like you got something on your mind
you seem fixated on tight buttholes.
looking for a virgin
or you just need to get another dick up ya to keep ya’ loose?
I’m not your guy, baby.
but again…….thanks for loving me enough to engage.
Oh my gosh, a revelation.
Thank you VONRRRRRR. I am so honored and now realize how privileged I am that someone of your stature would engage with lowly me. You are right, because I have been graced with this amazing privilege to be in this fraternity of such distinguished gentlemen and woman, I should learn not to share my opinions, all in line and just feel blessed that I am even allowed to be a commenter on such an esteem publication as Beach Grit.
STFU you condescending prick. If I said something like what psycho child said, about your boy……..you’d loss your bananas.
You really do think too highly of yourself, Urban Jungle Boy.
That said. Thank you soooooooo much for loving me. xoxoxo
The only reason italo didn’t get a 10 today is because yeti knew he leaned to surf on an esky lid better than theirs.
was this flourish aided by oaxacan hongos, carnal?
Touche
https://images.squarespace-…
your son looks nothing like you here. but your daughters are clearly spitting images of their ol’ man
before my time…but I came soon after…scoring. dick is epitome of masculinity. period. Grateful Dead on pod?
Jesus christos I’ve gotta scroll up to the top and forget all this shit
tatoo you by Rolling Stoners
dane nude on redtube/
Trying to figure out why Helmets Period is downvoting everything. Fucking kuk.
nice right up. yes on Medina.
When does Tom Curren surf?
Gabe might have lost, but my god, what beast. No one charged harder today.
Gabby def has Tayahopo’o dialed. Surfs the joint better than anyone imo.
Well done, that was a perfect event wrap up thanks Chas
No need for any more Scots ankle sprain stories though
Especially if he’s chargin’ ya…
P.S.
What reeeeeally happened
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
did I say he’d been murdered, no
you’re losing, so why not try to baffle with bullshit?
go celebrate. enjoy and watch the show begin.
Missed it all.
COVID has fuckin wiped me out and been in bed sleeping most days. (As opposed to like, being on the floor or in the garden, sleeping)
Was the contest worth watching on teh rewinds?
Hard yes
I always imagined him as a Indian in a skirt minus underwear holding his haggis?
You actually didn’t miss a lot
Just go to the highlights.
It was out of focus and mind warp commentary punctured by endless ” stay tuned” interspersed with maybe ten fantastic rides
please tell me that these totalitarian despots did not imprison and sometimes actually murder their political opponents.
please say it, please. please show us how much of an ignorant moron your are.
I’m more concerned about who offed Epstein…he had the dirt on all sorts of people, including your friend Trump, and Mr. Clinton (the theory is Hillary is a closet lesbian who after Chelsea was born was in a marriage of convenience for political gain for both she and Bill).
good night Fins. happy dreams.
Hah. Btw you got C’s or Mavs winning it?
Goodnight HC may you awake as a rational nice human being. Doubtful but we can hope.
but it’s trump who loves the dictators, quotes Mein kampf loves and adores Putin/Kim Jong/netayahu etc
And the girls getting a piece on a real-world newspaper!
Crap photos thought – the judges tower looks especially bad
https://www.theguardian.com…
filepe has has bigger waves out there than you chad.
You don’t have to murder someone to write about murder Jimbo
The fact that you compare Pip to Chas is rather telling of the situation.
lol
‘I’ve seen bigger waves in a toilet bowl.’ – Mark “Alex Rogers” Occhilupo
It was a Nugget of a day @ the end of the road
Oh to be a fly on the wall of Flick’s headspace while she gazes at Michel Bourez.
Flickin the button non-stop
Flicks favorite phrase of this event,”riding the foamball”, must’ve been code for something. Like sniffing an 8-ball of coke off michels balls.
Gmed and Trump!!
Losing yet winning!!
Fox News! Now selling life supplements and pillows…the rest are mixing fent w/ Coke…
what a day to be a professional surf fan