"I’m watching you violate what you allegedly stand for. You’re the real bully.”

The United States presidential race has taken a surf turn few saw coming. Down to the wire with every vote worth its weight in Conan Hayes, Republican Donald J. Trump and Democrat Kamala D. Harris are attempting to appeal to any community, every community, including we surfers.

Generally split down the middle, neither leaning hard left nor hard right, American surfers could very easily tilt the election if they could be pushed one way or the other. And, currently, the Republicans appear to be pushing harder.

It all began with one-time Democratic darling Tulsi Gabbard endorsing Trump. The former congresswoman from Hawaii, and The Inertia keynote speaker, and the “most famous surfer in American politics since Richard Nixon,” broke with the pack, declaring at a recent rally, “This (Biden) administration has us facing multiple wars on multiple fronts in regions around the world and closer to the brink of nuclear war than we ever have been before. This is one of the main reasons why I’m committed to doing all that I can to send President Trump back to the White House, where he can once again serve us as our commander-in-chief. Because I am confident that his first task will be to do the work to walk us back from the brink of war.”

Inspiring.

RFK Jr., surf great Kelly Slater’s pick, also endorsed Trump and now appearing side by side with Gabbard and healthy drink joints. Even though the 11x World Champion has stated that he has “never voted,” his position is clear.

And now the Team Trump Train fixes its scope on another powerful surf figure.

Former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan.

In an early morning message, Trump took to Truth Social to scream, “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!” after the pop sensation publicly supported Harris. The move, from Trump, thought to be directly aimed at the aforementioned Logan and his many thousand fans.

Logan has, of course, become an influencer after his stint atop professional surfing, though surfing still very much infuses his content. He recently reshared the story about how a “magic wetsuit” given to him by his family allowed him to overcome his fear of the ocean and embrace the surfing life. Anyhow, the Oklahoman has also publicly denounced Taylor Swift.

But who could forget when Logan took to Twitter, five years ago, to lash Taylor Swift with, “For someone who draws such power from being the ‘voice’ and against all the things you talk about, I’m watching you violate what you allegedly stand for. You’re the real bully.”

Powerful and very clearly deep seated.

Will Trump sharing the same sentiment push Logan into his camp?

A triumvirate of Gabbard-Slater-Logan enough to swing the entire surf vote red?

Wild days.

Fast Times in Boston.

If there was one bit of news that cheered nostalgic Gen Xers, this year, it was the reunification of iconic alt band Jane’s Addiction. The band, formed in the mid-1980s and featuring Perry Farrell, Dave Navarro, Eric Avery and Stephen Perkins has had many ups and downs throughout the years. Breakups, reformations with different members, hiatuses etc. Then in May of this year, the clouds parted and all four originals made up and the aforementioned young bloods toasted Capri Suns while smiling broadly.

The Imminent Redemption Tour kicked off almost exactly one month ago in San Diego, California with a bang before swinging oddly around the United States until landing in Boston on ominous Friday the 13th.

And it was there, at the Leader Bank Pavilion, that a surf fight broke out onstage between the two most famous members of the band, songbird Farrell and lead shred Navarro.

Video of the incident features Farrell pacing back and forth across the stage like a caged animal, grunting at the audience before moving over to Navarro, giving him the classic surf shoulder check. Navarro absorbs it before raising a classic surf forearm to Farrell’s chest. Farrell responds by barking in Navarro’s face, classic surf, and throwing a poorly time off-the-mark classic surf punch that might land somewhere in Navarro’s chest.

The whole business was broken up by Avery, though the media is citing bad blood has been brewing for months, Variety reporting, “This emotional explosion — coming on the heels of some ‘off’ moments in other cities that have already been a subject of discussion in reviews and on social media — has some fans waiting to see whether the remaining gigs on the band’s long-awaited reunion tour, their first in 14 years, will proceed as scheduled.

All, and once again, classic surf.

But do you recall the time I surfed with Perry Farrell in North County, San Diego?

It was 10 years ago, now. The waves were small but fun, the water warm, the sun too hot. We bobbed next to each to each other waiting for set waves, which took forever to appear. He caught some lefts. I caught some lefts. I couldn’t see how good his backhand approach was (he is a regular foot) because I always waited for the better waves but I could see his head moving very very very slowly down the line. He rode a thick, too long egg. I rode my wife’s (and Dane Reynolds’) Neck Beard.

We did not fight but, afterward up near the showers, his wife yelled at their kids.

A possible sign of things to come.