Hair-raising: Watch brave little Mason Ho,
all hot lead and cold steel, in a “a love of manly
independence!”
By Derek Rielly
You keep rubbing that stick, as they say, and
you’re gonna get a lot more than a spark.
Little introduction is needed, now, for Sunset Beach’s
Mason Ho, who is thirty-three this year.
In today’s weekly instalment of Mason’s winter and spring
sessions around the North Shore of Oahu, we find the comparatively
short (though a giant in bravery terms) Chinese-Hawaiian asserting
his manly independence at a non-wave, really, an outcrop of reef in
front of the Foodland near Waimea Bay.
Mason, as always, in all hot lead and cold steel.
You keep rubbing that stick, as they say, and you’re gonna get a
lot more than a spark.
Essential viewing.
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John and can of cooked pig, which he rightly
refuses to eat despite losing bet to teen surfer Luke
Swanson.
Two-time world surfing champion John John
Florence peels back curtain on new ultra-fast Pyzel
surfboards!
By Derek Rielly
Confident. Well-informed. Deadly.
The two-time world surfing champion John John Florence,
with his frank, mobile face, clear and
white complexion, blue-grey eyes and soft yellow hair, is
the picture of health in this revealing four-and-a-half
minute edit.
Florence, riding Dark Arts-constructed
Pyzels, appears level-headed and deadly in earnest,
his surfing arousing the online viewer from his lethargy in a
stirring session at a spring North Shore sandbar.
The edit is anchored by a mock-heat with teenage surfer Luke
Swanson, which John loses, although this seems to please and not
embarrass the twenty-eight-year-old Champ.
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Billy, with mom, united in grief.
Revealed: The tragedy that shaped big-wave
world champ Billy Kemper, “I still have nightmares about it; I can
still hear my mother screaming…”
By Derek Rielly
Episode four of the wonderful, if padded out,
documentary series ‘Billy’…
You know the story: little Billy Kemper, a four-times
Jaws winner and 2017 big-wave world champ, is belted to
within an inch of his life at a Moroccan ledge.
The six-part series, called ‘Billy‘, follows this trip
to Morocco, the injury, his long rehabilitation and his triumphant
return to contests.
Episode four is a real tear jerker, one that will have the
viewer crouching in his armchair like an animal that is cold.
Billy’s words come helter-skelter, his thoughts coming from the
pit of his stomach.
“I just did everything I could to do what he taught me, to live
up to what he had set for me,” says Billy.
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A guy parked in a black Porsche SUV starts
yelling out his window “Fuckin beat it Reynolds go back to Silver
Strand and leave your cameraman at home you fuckin kook…” I laughed
and gave him a sympathy nod cause I thought it was an attempt at
humor but as I keep running and his yelling gets fainter I realize
he isn’t joking and now it actually becomes funny. The last words I
hear is 'that’s what I thought.'
One-time best surfer in the world Dane
Reynolds reveals new manifesto, “Is there a Satanist Cabal BBQ’ing
babies at George Soros’ house while Bill Gates implants tracking
devices in every human being or is half the population losing their
goddamn minds?”
By Derek Rielly
"Covid tests are being used as conduits for
microchips to be implanted into our bodies that ultimately will be
used to make us slaves that mine cryptocurrencies."
There is, I’ll posit, no better journal of surfing than
Dane Reynolds and Mini Blanchard’s Chapter 11 TV
channel.
It is, simultaneously, wicked, innocent, provocative,
intellectual, magnetic.
Very much like its master Reynolds, who is thirty-five
and the last bulwark of a sport in the
grip of its darkest enemy, the chilling rise of the adult beginner,
the VAL-apocalypse.
In a sprawling thought piece surrounding today’s episode,
Reynolds is heckled at Zuma,
It looked fun enough so I suited up and ran up the beach to
where there was a hole in the crowd. A guy parked in a black
Porsche SUV starts yelling out his window “Fuckin beat it Reynolds
go back to Silver Strand and leave your cameraman at home you
fuckin kook…” I laughed and gave him a sympathy nod cause I thought
it was an attempt at humor but as I keep running and his yelling
gets fainter I realize he isn’t joking and now it actually becomes
funny. The last words I hear is ‘that’s what I thought.’
In the water a man suggests Reynolds might wanna get into
non-fungible tokens or NFTs.
Out in the water a long haired fellow on a soft top asks if
he can have 30 seconds of my time for a business pitch. You can’t
really say no so he proceeds to inform me that NFT’s are all the
rage and they could be right up my alley.
“What are NFT’s?” Well shit, I still don’t quite understand
but someone is creating something called crypto punks which are 8
bit digital art files that are being traded for millions of
dollars. Fuckin crazy. My brain does not compute. Fascinating and
foreign. Why would you want ownership of this art? Why is it
crypto? What the fuck?
Reynolds, in good form, questions life in 2021.
Is there a Satanist Cabal BBQ’ing babies at George Soros’
house while Bill Gates implants tracking devices in every human
being or is half the population losing their goddamn
minds?
The soundtrack is characteristically superb and includes song
one from Ween’s 12 Gold Country Greats, I’m Holding
You.
“I’m trippin’, writhin’ and squealin’, pukin’,” sings Gene
Ween.
"Gonna get you home, Billy," WSL CEO Erik
Logan tells the Champ.
WSL CEO Erik Logan weeps recounting
big-wave world champ’s catastrophic injuries in part three of
documentary ‘Billy’: “Every breath was getting shorter and shorter
and shorter…”
By Derek Rielly
"Fear. Trauma. Pain."
One year ago, Billy Kemper, a four-times Jaws
winner and 2017 big-wave world champ, had his pelvis snapped while
surfing a wild swell at Morocco’s best wave, the
righthand point Safi, a little like Lennox meets one of those Mex
sand-bottoms.
The six-part documentary series, called ‘Billy‘,
follows this trip to Morocco, the injury, his long rehabilitation
and his triumphant return to contests.
The doco has been a little slow but, here in episode three, we
get to the meat of the bone and our mouths on the teat, the
pleasingly creamy colostrum flowing.
We learn that Billy was choking on his fluids, shitting the bed
after overdosing on anti-inflamms and the lengths the WSL’s heroic
CEO Erik Logan went to to ensure the Champ’s survival.
“Just the words Billy was saying, I could feel the pain,” Erik,
an executive producer on the series, says between sobs, promising
Billy he’d “bring him home.”
