Watch: Happy Gen Z Surfers mock Coronavirus in “Either your brains or your signature is going to be on this contract!”

The absurdity of the blackmarket and the insanity of hoarders wrapped up in a neat lil Mafia movie spoof…

Difficult times, etc, or so I’m told, although if I peer through my curtain, past the cavalcade of rangers in fluorescent coats with notebooks and the authority to hit a man with a thousand-buck fine, I see blue skies painted with handfuls of cirrus clouds and an ocean, as green as Capri, and without its usual colony of suicidal VALs.

A paradise, you would say, if sinister particles weren’t smeared on shopping trolly handles, door frames and so on, hunting the, mostly, elderly.

Two surfers who refuse to be cowed by the possibility of drowning on their own mucous in a makeshift hospital cot, weepy mammy and daddy watching their death agonies via FaceTime, are Josiah and Micah Amico, from Ventura, California.

In this short, written, directed and starring Josiah, twenty-one, and his little bro Michah, eighteen, the pair take on the absurdity of the blackmarket and the insanity of hoarders and wrap it up in a neat lil Mafia movie spoof.

Outstandingly well edited, enlightening and entertaining.

Behind-the-scenes as Mason Ho eats up French Polynesian surf contest: “I don’t want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at the bar!”

An emotional thrill!

Happy Mason Ho, thirty-one years old, is an attractive man with huge eyes and a brown moustache covering a mouth as delicate as a woman’s.

For most of his career, Mason has dreamed of being a full-time contestant on the World Championship Tour.

He was five years old when his Uncle Derek won the world title.

“I’ve wanted to win the world title since I was a kid,” he says. “But to be a world champ you have to…get… on the tour. So my goal before my goal is to qualify. So I need to hypnotize myself into thinking it’s fun.”

That dream might’ve been relegated to the occasional wildcard, but his black magic is occasionally still applied to qualifying events.

In this short behind-the-scenes film by his footman Rory Pringle, we see Mason stomping his way to a victory at the Rangiroa Pro three weeks ago, an atoll noted for its fine pearls in the Tuamotus in French Polynesia.

It is a win for exuberance, I think, something which is completely lacking in modern life.

Watch: Desert tube-conquering Imogen Caldwell in “A dazzling style of living!”

Girl who grew up on the beach learned a little about tube weaving…

Imogen Caldwell, twenty-four, was raised under the blazing desert sun and with a front row seat to the most picturesque left in the country, The Bluff, fifteen hours north of the Western Australian capital, Perth.

Isolated, yeah.

Moved there with her family when she was six. Camped on the beach. Eventually, mum and dad got to run the campsite there. They moved to a house fifty metres from the lineup. The windows shake when it’s big.

Imogen is the sort of person who is studied and gazed at in stunned surprise. Men feel the veins pulsing in their temples.

Tall, well-made, skin that looks as if it has has the flavour of fresh cream.

But we’re not here for that sort of play, not today at least.

Here, in under three minutes, is Imogen implanting herself in a series of tubes at The Bluff and a little further north, that’ll leave your tongue hanging out.

Watch: first vision of Tom Lochtefeld’s outrageous Palm Springs tank: “Wait a second! Hold on! I just pulled back in a pool!”

Wavepool pioneer creates slab that destroys pros!

As noted yesterday, surfing’s great thinker, Tom Lochtefeld, the man who created the Flowrider thirty years ago, had created the tech for the new Magnusson-Robb pool in Palm Springs.

(Take a lil trip down memory lane here to the Flowrider with Tony Hawk and Christian Fletcher.)

Tom’ new tech, which is called SurfLoch,  is diff to KS, Wavegarden, American Wave Machine and so on. It uses a combo of vacuum and pressure to make waves.

The promo lit goes,

“An opening at the bottom of each chamber allows the wave energy pulse to be released into open water independently of each other. The controlled variations of the independent pulses can generate an infinite variety of wave swells.”

In this film by Vans, Dylan Graves circles the Palm Springs pool and is given the grisly job of trying to negotiate its slab during a test session.

“Hold on! Wait a second! Hold on! I just pulled back in a pool,” he says after.

That’s entertainment.

Candid: Italo Ferreira’s private tour of his Baía Formosa hideaway; happy tow-ins via his hundred-gee beach buggy!

Here, in this little fishing village, the world champ is an absolute king.

It might come as a surprise that James O’Brien, the chubby red-haired daddy of surfing’s guiltiest treat, is a serious entrepreneur who has built a lucrative career around a YouTube channel.

Talk to James and you don’t get the goofy clown, you get hard kisses that leave little flecks of blood on your lips. A serious person with both eyes on the future.

In this episode of James’ weekly vlog we get part three of his journey to world champ Italo Ferreira’s Baía Formosa empire.

Here, Italo is the absolute king.

He owns the lineup, the best house and a hundred-gee beach buggy that can, and is, employed as a vehicle for towing in.

James, meanwhile, is bright, smart and happily demonic.