"It's a phenomenon of nature!"
Come, come chase a Code Red swell with Puerto Rico’s
Dylan Graves to… Minnesota! A fabulous state
which is home to the largest diaspora of Somalis east of Africa and
backs onto the Greatest Lake of ’em all, Lake Superior.
(Ain’t no fresh-water lake in the world as big as Lake
Superior.)
You remember Dylan, yeah? He’s mid-thirties now but he used to
be on the Quiksilver roster, the clean-looking Young
Gun playing cute foil to the hoary champ Kelly
Slater. Tween Young Gun and now (Old Bum?), Dylan took on the
WQS (ain’t much success) before settling into that ever-warm
freesurfing zone.
(Once when I interviewed Dylan, he said he liked to swish his
long hair around women’s breasts, sometimes head-butts his friends
when he’s boozed, and likes it “when girls aren’t afraid to
let some dirty shit come out. I just like it when they say
fuck.”)
Editor’s update: Dylan just texted to ask me if I had
proof of the interview and to remind me that “a little more work
might be required than a 10-year-old interview. Thanks for an
unnecessary chat with the mrs. Shitty journalism for the sake of
making a name for urself. Who wins?”
He’s right, of course, although the ol never-said-it argument
rarely works and only serves to shrink the proprietor in front of
his audience.
Anyway,
In this thirteen-minute “short feature”, Dylan exits the tropics
to fly to the state of Minnesota to surfs a network of waves one
local surfer points out is a “rare phenomenon” of rocky points,
reefs and beachbreaks.
Dylan says the cold water feels like being hit by
a neuralyzer, the device used in the Will Smith vehicle,
Men in Black.
“Mind eraser,” he says.
