How do the other half live? Come peek.
I ask Dane Reynolds about his garage. The rain is falling steadily outside my Los Angeles home and I can hear it, through the phone, falling outside his oceanfront Ventura modern as well. I am wearing sheepskin slippers. I will guarantee Dane is not.
“First of all, its funny to me that since I can surf better than your average dude suddenly I’m expected to tell people all about myself. Share information about dumb things such as my car and my garage, which are totally average. My garage has a shitty door. It’s made of wood and the pieces have separated so that from the inside looking out you can spy on kids. My girlfriend hangs things on the wall about falconry and posters she collects, such as Thunder Down Under. It has a washer and a dryer and a mew for her red tail. There are boxes full of shit seldomly used such as Christmas lights, fog machines and plastic pumpkin heads. I put surfboards here when they are broken or don’t work. There are also trash cans.”
Dane surfs better than everyone in the world not just the “average dude.” A spy door, however shitty, is not average and spying on kids is also not average. Mostly it is illegal. Posters on walls are average but not ones featuring an all male Australian strip review (Thunder from Down Under) or falconry (unless the garage is in Saudi Arabia). Mews are not average. They are birdhouses designed for birds that love to kill. Like falcons etc. Or red-tailed hawks, ownership of which is always illegal without very special permits. Washers and dryers are average. Boxes of seldomly used Christmas lights are average. Fog machines are not average at all (unless the garage is in Lodi, New Jersey). Plastic pumpkin heads are not average either. Nor are tens of broken, unworkable surfboards. Trash cans are average.
“Now tell me about the book and CD” Dane says. I had lured him into calling by claiming that I have a book and some music that he will absolutely love. “The book is Death in the Afternoon. It is fantastic,” I respond. “And the music is Li’l Wayne’s rock n’ roll album The Rebirth.” I know he’ll likely be bored by Death and hate Rebirth.
Am I over analysing the mention of death, rebirth, hate and boredom in the same sentence? Is it some overarching metaphor for Dane and his career? In that situation I would have been far more lazy and just mentioned something by Tom Clancy and ABBA. But since I’m a malcontent I’d probably suggest Nabokov’s Lolita, or Anais Nin’s Delta of Venus because both ask awkward things of you.
Lazy re-beat Chas….read this exact same cut and paste piece in Stab years ago. Got the very issue right here in front of me, just different photo eh buddy……hope you not getting paid for this effort?
Just curious: Is Beachgrit aware that there are authors besides Hemingway, Bukowski, and Kerouac?
They’re very aware; Chas’s book list article is extremely varied.
Looks like a fun day at the Kirra playground
But I like how he managed to be both humble and condescending at the same time in how he described himself.
I PICK THE WORLD UP AND I DROP IT ON YOUR FUCKIN’ HEAD is all I remember from The Rebirth.