Want to make it big in the surf game? Learn to speak. With candour.
It ain’t difficult to win in the surf media game. Throw out a quote or two that isn’t riddled with platitudes and we’re going to eat it up. A so-so surfer can soar to unimagined heights while a Surf League level guy will sink into oblivion.
Want to know what to do when a creep with a microphone approaches or lights up your email or phone?
First, here are the three big no’s…
1. The answers sent from an iPhone. Jesus, how hard can it be? You travel the world toting a MacBook Air, yet, judging by your answers you save that for porn and would rather thumb your half-assed answers via phone to a writer hoping to further your career by cobbling together 1000 words by noon. C’mon guys, take a leaf out of Grant “Twiggy” Baker’s book and do the world a favour by peppering your answers with the odd adjective and sentence structure consisting of more than, “yes/no”, “it was sick”, “It’s hard lugging so many bards around,” or even worse, “The waves didn’t get as good as we hoped they would.”
2. The reformed Hawaiian heavy angle: Yep, we get it. Couple convictions to your name and the prospect of (more) prison time for one last little misdemeanour. Look, we love the fact you’re now hoping to make a difference to the world but it don’t mean you can’t spray a little verbal assault down the phone line does it? Let’s be honest, it’s what we love you for!
3. The, “Could you run this by the team manager before you print this?” guy: Unless you’re in the top five, chances are you’ll be off the team by December anyway, so, live a little buddy, tell us what really happened that time you went drinking with Wardo.
And the big yes?
Be honest, cavalier even. Take a chance. Look into the void and jump.
In the words of Oscar Wilde, “Moderation is fatal, nothing succeeds like excess.”