WSL gives a beautiful demonstration of the sunk-cost fallacy…
I got a sick sense of joy watching the Vans US Open of Surfing unfold on my laptop today. It was a hopping, groveling mess; a beautiful demonstration of the sunk-cost fallacy that delivered on a promise of schadenfreude for which I’ve been eagerly awaiting the past ten or so days. The WSL’s first big outing was a flop, and everything surrounding it has been appalling.
A supposed $100k extension bought the men a taste of the women’s tour. God only knows how much the guys who washed out during their luck-of-the-draw shitfest heats enjoyed dishing out the dough for the last-minute airfare changes and hotel booking extensions that earned them the privilege of making a mockery of both their ability and the notion that surfing can ever be a mainstream sport.
How quickly we forget the pre-Dream Tour days when the athletes fought to ensure that the right thing would happen when a contest doesn’t deliver: the points get split, the prizemoney does too. Gabby doesn’t like it, and why should he? When Micro makes the surf look small no one should be in the water.
Perrow’s bosses are mad that Medina said a swear. Freddy P had a meltdown.
Judging criteria – speed, power & flow. I believe I ticked all the boxes, not to mention innovation. Under scored?? I think so. Haha. #areyounotentertained #bestjobieverhad #thisissnapper
So did Josh Kerr.
Fustration/anger are emotions I really try to stay away from! Today that didn’t work!
The commentator clowns insist on referring to the WSL in the third person, as though it were a sanctioning body rather than a sideshow.
The cabinet beneath my bathroom sink sits slightly ajar. This morning, when I was shaving, I leaned in to get a better look at my throat. My thighs pressed against the door and pushed it shut, pinching the tip of my dick. It only caught a tiny bit of flesh, but it was enough to make me screech and jump back, totally confused by the sudden stabbing pain in my cock.
I’m sure it looked funny to an outside observer, but like today’s event, it was no fucking fun at all to take part in.
| Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Round 3 Results (1st to R4, 2nd = 13th):
Heat 1: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 13.00 def. Kelly Slater (USA) 8.77
Heat 2: Miguel Pupo (BRA) 13.67 def. Josh Kerr (AUS) 13.20
Heat 3: Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 15.77 def. Joel Parkinson (AUS) 9.93
Heat 4: Taj Burrow (AUS) 16.60 def. Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 11.90
Heat 5: Julian Wilson (AUS) 10.43 def. Nat Young (USA) 8.94
Heat 6: Glenn Hall (IRL) 14.23 vs. Gabriel Medina (BRA) 7.50
Heat 7: Mick Fanning (AUS) 17.56 def. Dusty Payne (HAW) 15.00
Heat 8: Bede Durbidge (AUS) 15.90 def. Owen Wright (AUS) 14.44
Heat 9: Adriano de Souza (BRA) 14.76 def. Freddy Patacchia Jr. (HAW) 1.13
Heat 10: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 14.67 def. Matt Banting (AUS) 13.90
Heat 11: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 18.50 def. Kolohe Andino (USA) 15.74
Heat 12: Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 17.83 def. John John Florence (HAW) 16.13
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Round 4 Results (1st to QF, 2nd & 3rd to R5):
Heat 1: Miguel Pupo (BRA) 17.23, Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 13.47, Italo Ferreira (BRA) 13.37
Heat 2: Julian Wilson (AUS) 15.37, Taj Burrow (AUS) 11.13, Glenn Hall (IRL) 10.50
Heat 3: Mick Fanning (AUS) 16.50, Adriano de Souza (BRA) 16.50, Bede Durbidge (AUS) 14.50
Heat 4: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 17.83, Jordy Smith (ZAF) 16.57, Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 12.23
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Round 5 Results (1st to QF, 2nd=9th):
Heat 1: Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 17.34 def. Glenn Hall (IRL) 13.33
Heat 2: Taj Burrow (AUS) 15.73 def. Italo Ferreira (BRA) 15.50
Heat 3: Adriano de Souza (BRA) 16.94 def. Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 16.07
Heat 4: Bede Durbidge (AUS) 15.83 def. Jordy Smith (ZAF) 11.83
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Quarterfinal Match-Ups (1st to SF, 2nd=5th):
QF 1: Miguel Pupo (BRA) vs. Wiggolly Dantas (BRA)
QF 2: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Taj Burrow (AUS)
QF 3: Mick Fanning (AUS) vs. Adriano de Souza (BRA)
QF 4: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Bede Durbidge (AUS) |
|
|
Swchwack! Said no one
Top notch beat journalism, Rory. I’d nominate you for a Pulitzer, if the world gave a fuck. Is Peter Mel going to yank away my keyboard? Is god guiding my fingers on this post? Will my Dad hug me afterwards? Will I get a hot load of Carlton dumped on my head? Will Sally stick her ass out and throw her hands in joy as she shoots 2 inch spray? Will the judges reward her complete lack of steez? Will KP fine her for excessive poo stance? Will red bull produce another movie to try and get people to think she deserves a world title? We’ll have to wait till Bells to find out!
Embrace that sick sense of Joy Mr. Parker! It is a lovely thing to watch. How much less memorable would Katy Perry’s halftime show at the Super Bowl have been if the left shark had its shit together? Or the bungled call to run instead of pass? Or what if that melee had not broken out at the end of the game? The WSL clusterfucks are and will be much more enjoyable than a textbook event. Gabs going off in the post-heat interview, Kerr getting pissed, and any board smashing is is the best possible thing to happen. What could the WSL do postpone forever? Nah let things get nasty and inject some WWF err… WWE into the WSL and watch the magic happen!
I for one cannot wait for when people have to pay to watch that utter shit excuse for a competition. I’d like a reason for not running it at D’Bah whilst Dane was doing bigger airs than Potz’s gut.
The WSL will ultimately fail because unfortunately, surfing is hands down the most boring fucking thing to watch. Ever. Even in the best heat possibly of all time with John John vs Kelly no one caught a wave for 15 minutes. What the fuck do we do then? Get that fuckwit Turpell and barrel gut Potz to wank off over how John was born at Pipe and wear the most stereo typical Hawaiian ‘Surfing’ shirts whilst the rest of the world has grown up and no one wears brands bar from the pros because they have to. It’s embarrassing.
Can I paste this into Stab’s forum? I can’t be bothered to type it out again.
im eating my words, sorry for ever doubting Glenn Hall.
It is a fuck up of the highest order, no excuses when you have probably the worlds most reliable backup wave a few hundred metres away. They will be lucky to see the year out.
How many outside observers usually watch you pinch your dick in a door? Seems like an event the WSL could put some money behind.