Leave your serious at home! This is strictly for laughs!
In the comments of last week’s installment of Ordinary Kooks and their Extraordinary Wipeouts, I was lucky enough to be given a free psychiatric diagnosis by an online mental health expert.
“I know you’re trying to be funny and you may be a proud, skilled waterman,” the doctor wrote, “but the way you describe the joy, satisfaction and self validation that you get from watching ordinary men (and women) fear for their lives and become injured… it’s scary man. Your article wreaks [sic] of a true blue psychopath, waterman or not.”
While this is hardly the first time someone has expressed that sentiment in regards to my supposed lack of empathy I was, perhaps understandably, hesitant to accept the initial diagnosis. After all, it wasn’t long ago that I was nearly killed by a misdiagnosed skull infection, from which I took away the conviction that you should always seek a second opinion.
I’ve always been slightly concerned that setting foot in a shrink’s office will find me temporarily confined for a 72-hour observation and so I decided to seek out some top-notch testing online. Using the power of the internet would ensure I got a trustworthy diagnosis, as well as provide enough anonymity to quell my fear of straight jackets and court-ordered medication.
Since I’ve always tried to live by the rule, “If you can’t change it, revel in it,” here’s a second helping of delicious schadenfreude. Because the only thing better than having something good happen to you is seeing something bad happen to someone else.
This goes from bad to worse astonishingly quickly. Good thing she thought to wear a helmet.
Sometimes you get caught, and some times are worse than others.
This baby’s got it all! A little kid in Speedos, a pair of big ol’ milk floppers bouncing about and a drunk woman nearly drowning in six inches of water.
There’s just something enthralling about watching a person panic and turn a minor mishap into a near death experience.
I’ve always enjoyed watching people get hammered by surges they aren’t expecting. Waimea on a decent swell is a great spot for it. Wedge is too. Post up well away from the berm, crack a cold beer, and watch a bunch of fools get periodically smoked by a churning melange of sand and salt water.
There are a lot of failed rock jump videos on the web and a common thread among them is that half second of hesitation that ends in an ass beating.
But, if you commit, you can occasionally salvage a dire situation. Boogie bro here came pretty close to snuffing it, maybe next time he’ll learn to time sets a tad better.
I hope you enjoyed watching the videos as much I enjoyed compiling them.
Until next time, here’s a little kid eating shit…