"The more Filipe wins the more beautiful he becomes!"
It’s accepted, now, that a contest isn’t truly finished until the former pro-turned filmmaker Peter King wraps it all up in a candid, comedic bow.
And, here, a couple of days after Filipe Toledo won the Oi Rio Pro as breezy as you please, PK delivers his exquisitely trivial bubble of fancy called Tour Notes Rio Wraps or as PK calls it, “a new episode full of fandemonium.”
And it’s true. Weeping girls, weeping little boys. And so many memorable quotes.
John John, watching Filipe in the competitors’ area: “He’s super gnarly at airs.”
Kelly then mimics Filipe’s airs in response. “He’s got so much mouth play!” Oh Kelly!
Miguel Pupo: “The more he wins the more beautiful he becomes!” and “I get 10 per cent of the girls he gets tonight.”
The filmmaker, Mr Peter King of La Jolla, CA, says: “John John and Filipe fever have been at fever pitch past couple weeks… Brazil Fandemonium got the boys sequestered in their rooms with $ecurity guards…but it’s all good…the difference between say the Oi Rio Pro and the U.S. Open is that at the U.S. Open girls are writing magic markers all over themselves drawing attention to themselves and the Rio fans are giving their full attention to the athletes…”
But don’t read, watch! Below or hit the play button.
Because who doesn't a want a little reassurance in these bleak, bloody, attack-riddled days…
In the thirty-ish years I’ve spent playing the ocean I’ve never actually seen a shark while surfing. They’re there, of course.
Pop a mask on your head and go for a spear and you’ll typically see one or two per session. They’re neat animals and they prefer to keep their distance. The first few times you see one creeping up to check out your catch can be a bit nerve-wracking, but once you realize you can chase them off more or less effortlessly the fear factor diminishes quite a bit.
Rocking a pair of three-foot long fins, combined with a four-or-five-foot long speargun, the average person creates a huge silhouette in the water and, like all predators, sharks prefer easy prey.
But that hasn’t stopped a plethora of snake oil salesman from appealing to the cowardice of those who aren’t accustomed to spending any real amount of time in the water. Each product, without exception, is careful to state that they only mitigate attacks, clever use of language to be sure.
“Yeah, dude, they totally work all the time. Except for when they don’t.”
This one goes first, because it’s my favorite. Harnessing the power of magnets, this bracelet totally repels sharks. Except for when it doesn’t. And it doesn’t work with Whites or big Tigers. But, still, magnets do repel things. Other magnets, for one. And maybe sharks are made of magnets?
Shark Shield: The idea behind this one is kind of sound. Sharks do hunt by detecting electromagnetic fields, so overloading their ampullae of Lorenzini might work to drive them off. Only problem is, if the current isn’t strong enough it’s just as likely to attract a shark as drive one off. Seeing as how sharks bite the shit out of underwater cables all the time, you’re gonna need a ton of juice running through the thing.
Bonus fact: The Shark Shield will shock the shit out of you. Repeatedly. They even say so on their website. So, if you’re into getting randomly shocked and are looking for a shark repellent device of dubious efficacy, this is the product for you!
It worked for Batman, so it must be gold! This stuff smells like rotten shark, and everyone knows that sharks don’t eat other sharks. No sirree, sharks have very delicate constitutions, and they find the very notion of cannibalism appalling.
Spearos love their cool camouflage wetsuits and there are a ton of companies that put out some really kick-ass prints that mimic either reef or fish coloration. They work pretty well too, if you’re hiding from other humans.
The only problem here is that sharks are not primarily sight-based predators, and even if they were, humans thrash about in the water like dying hippos. In order for camo to work it really needs to be paired with stealth, something beyond the ability of us bald apes.
I have been known to chuckle GoPro’s way, even though I part own the company, but I should stop and not just because I’m getting rich off my six shares, though I am (up $1.15 a share). No. I should stop because CEO Nick Woodman is the most generous man on earth.
It has been recently uncovered, in the Bloomberg Reports, that the “Mad Billionaire” honored a freshman in college word of mouth promise to his UC San Diego roommate. The promise was not for a hamburger or even a cheeseburger. The promise was for 10% of the proceeds he received from the sale of the company’s shares. Do you know how much that is? $229 million dollars is how much.
His roommate, Neil Dana, still works for GoPro in the music department, or somewhere, but maybe not for much longer.
And it is truly amazing to give someone $229 million dollars based on a word of mouth promise. What did Neil Dana do ten years ago? I have no idea and neither does anyone else but for $229 million dollars anything would have been worthwhile. Anything at all.
Also uncovered in the same report is that Nick Woodman is the highest paid CEO in America. He made $285.3 million dollars in 2014. That is more than Ralph Lauren, Robert Iger and James Dimon. And they said “action sports” was in decline. Pssssshhhhhht. Kooks.
Surf has sucked off skate for so so so many years, the airs, the names, the importance, and surf is better for it. Look at Filipe’s amazing punctuation on the Rio Pro. Without skate it would have been a pretty good top turn. No more.
So then, surfers, watch this amazing hip transfer as done by Pedro Barros just a few hours ago and filmed by Sean Sullivan at the Vans Pool Party. Watch the height. Watch the lack of care soaring over cement. Watch the clean landing. Watch the crowd go bananas. And wait for it to translate into surf. It is going to be amazing.
Meet the Taiwanese Geniuses Who Make Your Wetsuits!
Are you like me? Do you think it’s flashy American and Australian know-how that gets our suits just so?
You are so wrong and maybe racist too!
Taiwan’s Sheico Group has got their paws all over the wetsuits market. Biggest maker of sports wetsuits in the world. Closing in on half-a-billion US dollars a year in trade.
Billabong’s Xcel, O’Neill , Quiksilver and Rip Curl all use Sheico.
According to Forbes Asia,
“Five years ago Sheico was the first to deliver the material for Rip Curl’s Flash-Bomb series, validating its claim to be the world’s fastest-drying wet suit. Within two minutes 90% of water is drained through the inner layer of the suit or heated up by body temperature to give the wearer a greater sense of comfort. Years of exclusive rights to the component were granted to Rip Curl for its competitive edge. ‘At this point Sheico is making the best wet suits in the world…. They are definitely the guy,’ says Greg Wade, president of Xcel in California. What’s amazing, he continues, is that Sheico contract-manufactures for various top brands but manages to customize components so that each can have its own look and feel.”