There is nothing I love more than rumor. They so titillate. They so cause emotional furnaces to burn in chests. And my love has made me a connoisseur. I know the ones that smell right and the ones that smell wrong and unfortunately our distant lands bureau has just learned that John John Florence may, in fact, have sustained an ankle injury and it does not smell wrong.
What will this do to our shining Hawaiian knight? Will it be severe, forcing him to miss the rest of the season, blown over by a great Brazilian storm? Will it be nagging, forcing him to overcompensate and causing greater injury? Will it make him strong and resourceful like Michael Jordan with the flu?
Nobody knows. It is a rumor. But you can be sure that BeachGrit will fill in details as soon as we know. Just like we always do. Goodnight and good luck.
That gorgeous French Bulldog is back and wilder than ever! She is busy, don’t be mistaken. Today I saw her on Instagram zooming a pink Mercedes load of Stance socks off to higher-end department stores. But she is not to busy for you. She knows you live in Tel Aviv and need to know what kind of dog is best for bomb scares. She knows Orcas have a hard time in activity. She knows Iggy Iz.
You should, if you have not, dip right in because she is the smartest French Bulldog in the world and daughter of Courtney J. and Dane R.
Today the great Marine Layer Productions, supposedly shuttered since last winter, rose from the dead with a super fun, wonky, wild 11-minute mini-film titled “Sampler.”
While it isn’t the “best” surfing we’ve seen from the World’s Best Surfer Circa 2012, it is great fun! And shouldn’t it be?
According to Dane, he emailed it to a friend. That friend said it was “pretty cool.” Which bummed poor Dane out. Can’t the poor new Papa get a break! I mean, did you fucking see Cluster? What do you want from him.
“man… expectations, what a stoke killer.” Dane posted on Marine Layer. “Every time you do something, the expectation is that whatever you do next has to be better. do you understand how unsustainable that is? the pressure caused by this principle has stressed me out, burned me out, i eventually cracked, hid out, dropped out, turned away… but then it get’s to a point where you’re just like ‘fuck it.’ that’s when i’ve done my best surfing. when there is a complete absence of consideration for what people expect.”
Do you hear his conviction? Do you feel it in your cold, cold blood, you fuckers? Behold the Second Coming! A Dane with shoulders light as air.
“so here’s SAMPLER, which is a collection of surfing i’ve done the past year that didn’t make it into ‘cluster.’ Dane continues. “So yeah, it is ‘b sidey’ but that is not a disclaimer, i’m proud of it… fuck it, forget what your sponsors expect, what viewers expect, expect nothing…”
The film opens with home footage of a prepubescent Dane pushing around on a skateboard, throwing himself off a launch ramp, not a care in the world. Might that be what you’ve been trying to find, Dane? That feeling you felt all those years ago, just a toothy kid pushing a chipped skateboard hard and fast, your head full of dreams and possibility
Dane’s post ends: “or as ethan fowler says it ‘do what you want, do it well, or, if you don’t want to do it well, don’t do it well, just do it how you do it, and that shit shines through a thousand times brighter’”
If this is the attitude we can expect to see at Fiji, what a spectacle it could be!
Australian surfer cuts out middle-man and gets you straight into premium rubber for peanuts…
Yamba-based surfer Ryan Scanlon, the former Senior Vice President of Global Products for Quiksilver, doesn’t wanna take over the world. He isn’t building his biz Need Essentials up with an eye to slamming it on the counter for a few mill down the line. He isn’t aggressively chasing market share or running hither and yon trying to find investors. Says he’ll even point his profits in a philanthropic direction if, when, the biz lights up.
Ryan’s play is simple. He makes premium wetsuits at around half the price or less of the major brands, with one important caveat, but more on that later. It’s a shuffle of the usual way we buy stuff.
“We are not a brand! So we don’t act like a normal brand,” he says. “We don’t advertise, we don’t brand our products, we don’t do swing-tags and packaging, we don’t wholesale and we don’t pay people to endorse our products. What we do focus on is premium product at a price point and we rely on customer satisfaction and word of mouth to promote our products. By doing this we believe we are helping the surfer that has a day job and a stack of bills to worry about and doesn’t need to fork out $500 for a premium suit to stay warm.”
Ryan started designing for Quiksilver back in the mid-nineties after punching out his design degree. He’s 38 now, but “was always juggling work and travel. I would take 18 months off every few years and just go surfing all over the world until I had to go back to work. My passion, like most surfers, is finding waves and traveling and in my own life that tends to come before material possessions. I try to live a pretty simple life (he lives on a yacht) and Need is a reflection of that. I wanted to create something that I wish existed but didn’t. A supply chain where you didn’t have to pay for all the excess. You just pay for what you… yeah… Need.”
Hence the name.
“We make only what we believe you need to be warm, flexible and light. We don’t have all the extra components like, printing, textures, useless components, unproven technologies and fashion or fads. So what we are able to offer is a high-end suit below the cost of thelow-end branded wetsuits.”
This means you’ll buy a 4/3 chest-zip steamer for $A200. What’s that in US dollars? One fifty or thereabouts. Cheap. And your suit comes from the same factory in Taiwan (Sheico Group. Read their amazing story here) where Rip Curl, Quiksilver, Billabong and pretty everyone else gets ’em done. (You thought Japan? So wrong!)
There’s a slight sting in the story, and this is the caveat. No warranty.
“We don’t offer a warranty because we are so aggressively priced,” says Ryan. “A two-mm back-zip premium jacket is $60. That’s less than a branded hooded fleece top which doesn’t carry a warranty. So Need approaches premium wetsuits the same way you would approach clothing.”
And the game plan for Need Essentials, who’d sold their entire inventory of stock last time I looked? Wetsuits only or is there more on the griddle?
“At this point the primary focus is catching up to demand on the wetsuits and keeping people warm and happy. There is a lot more stock on the way and an extended summer line that also features one technical board short. Need will always keep away from fashion and fads and only plans to focus on surfers genuine needs… I’m not trying to make an empire with this project, I don’t need that in my life, my life is extremely simple. If Need can provide a few jobs for other surfers in Australia and also provide core surfers with their basic needs and help save them a buck then I think that’s our spot.”
The cardinal rule of perpetrating an excellent hoax? Don't get caught.
It probably found its way onto whatever social media feed you favor in the past week, “This Pro Surfer’s Selfless Act Got Him Disqualified,” attached to some maudlin schmaltz about how a surfer took a crippled guy out during a heat.
It’s a stupid notion even if you take it at face value. Who cares if he got disqualified? Even if he wasn’t, it’s not like you’re gonna win a heat with some dude clinging to your back like a limp legged limpet. Why not just wait half an hour and take the guy out then? It seems like a good way to waste your contest entry fee and maybe drown a guy in full view of a ton of people, but that’s about it.
Well, GrindTV, Yahoo’s XTREME! Sports media outlet par excellence, is reporting that it was all just feel good bullshit. Argentine surfing campeon, Martin Passeri, staged the affair, shooting the surfing footage outside competition, then editing in some voice over and footage of the contest area.
Turns out the guy isn’t an idiot after all. Passeri realized that, first, surfing with another person on your back is hard as all hell and, second, he’d probably be DQ’ed.
Now, I love a good hoax. Playing with people’s understanding of reality, manipulating their emotions and getting them to laugh or cry of feel an all encompassing rage, that’s awesome. Because, you know, man, what is real, anyway?
But the cardinal rule of perpetrating an excellent hoax is “Don’t get caught,” and Passeri blew it big time in that regard. Now he’s gonna be treated as some nefarious charlatan by the online community, when he could have made a video that’s pretty much the exact same thing, just not put in the contest part. Because, again, that was just stupid, even if, especially if, it’s true.