ADS will be Brazil's second surfing world champion and first-ever Pipe Master!
Is there anything better than the title coming down to Pipe? Such a singular wave, so close to shore, all that power slamming into the inside bowl.
The greatest show on Earth. Really.
Not so much fun if you live on the North Shore. Constant gridlock during the waiting period. Basically the reason I ruined my shoulder. Hopped the bus to the beachpark with a pair of flippers on a lay day, got humbled real bad by a slightly overhead wave. No car, no phone, my wife had to drive out from Bishop Street to get me to the ER. Might make for a solidly frivolous suit, should the WSL fail to learn the meaning of fair use and we need some future leverage.
Pipe’s got a lot to look forward to. Always the local drama, never enough wildcards. The contest only exists in its current form because of a series of variances the Parks Dept has no right issuing. Bunch of people pretty upset with that.
Last year’s application claimed the Triple Crown, of which Pipe is a part, provides a billion dollars, with a b, worth of exposure for Hawaii. It must be nice to just make shit up and have it taken as truth. Who am I kidding, I know it is. I do it myself, occasionally.
Derek sent me the world title race breakdown (scroll to bottom), which I assume is true. It’s not that I can’t do the math, it’s that I’m too lazy. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s not like it matters.
Smart money’s on Mick, he’s been here before. But my heart goes out to sweet Adriano. Love to hate him, but no one works harder.
I just realized, I’ve never seen ADS free surf. That’s crazy.
I adore an underdog, and so de Souza’s my boy, and here’s how I see it playing out…
A series of unreal semi early season swells blow the sand off the reef, epic sessions go down as the circus trickles into town. Lei Lei’s sees our sport’s best and brightest dining on overpriced mediocrity masquerading as quality. The Surfer Bar continues to be lame, but guys go because they’re horny and that’s where the trim is. Instagram explodes with lifestyle shots and asses and quivers and pictures of poke.
Swell hype spreads, it’ll be insane on the 14th.
Lay day, hype, lay day, hype.
The contest runs on Wednesday at glorified Gums. ADS works his way through the early rounds. Swell finally shows, but it’s a day late. No contests on Sunday!
Fanning goes out in round three, then heavy trades and rain show up for work.
Perrow plays chicken with the waiting period. A bump shows and they’re in the water! Six foot, windy, whompy backwash.
But, “There’s some gems out there, Joe!”
It’ll be a Llama/de Souza final, and Adriano will put on a majestic display of tactical hassling. Poor Filipe won’t withstand.
And so the season closes.
Not with a bang, but a whimper.
