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Dear Santa: Lemme be a cool guy!

The Inertia writers have one wish for Christmas. Help Santa! Or The Mad Hueys!

Christmas is just the dreamiest of times. The world covered in a blanket of fresh snow represents pure possibility! Anything can happen. The lion can lie down with the lamb. The stone cold surf journalistics can become super cool chillazzz.

How does this last one happen? Ask The Inertia staff writers ‘cuz Santa be busy!

First, apparently, use a word that the kids were using two years ago in the title. Like “ham.”

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Second, employ regional slang like “shoeys” ? because the kids know that you down with foreign culturez, girlfriend.

Third, write about Australia’s Mad Hueys lots. They hip, yeah? They drankin the beerz and they girlfrienz gettin the titties out!

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Fourth, be the home of thinking surfers!

And then dizzzzone my homies. Cool is as cool does. And now you cool as ice!

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14 Comments
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Ryan Miller

That was perfect, thank you

Michael Ciaramella

Completely unrelated, but I think this post on Italos insta deserves an entire BG article. Who is this guy? An Italian mobster? A B-grade DJ? An actual pimp? No! He’s statistically the 7th best surfer in the world! Better than slater this year! What a legend! Chas, Derek, and Rory, please give this man the attention he so rightfully deserves

Mapski

So humble,so free…

longtom

damm, yes, yes and yes, preferably all at once.

NEGATRON

Just remember you started this vein of thought to keystrokes, dirty old man behaviour Longtom…But for the record you can have Italo and the two left and right of the photo…

NEGATRON

Also apologies in advance to Italo if any of these ladies are your Sisters…

KoloheLover69

first they took the world title,
then they took the hot girls next door,
what comes next?

Mariano Landa

Timberlands and thick-legged girls! First professional surfer marketable on Chicago’s south side, Cleveland’s east side, and everywhere from Birmingham to Biloxi?

GiGi

I’ve said it for awhile, the kid is all swag…… But maestro Landa is right, are their any Vans satellite stores in Rio??????

Tom House

Ewwwwwwww….T-Mobile?

Chas Smith

I know! But it works brilliantly overseas where I can learn the regional slang!

Fahking Haole

And you can buy their cheap burner phones at CVS/Longs…

Dusty Butt

evolution

J H

Merry Christmas, Gentlemen. Thanks for a fun year.


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