The noted writer Rory Parker ruminates on the big
issues…
I feel like ruminating today. It’s a funny
word, meaning both to think deeply and chew cud like a cow. Cows
are idiots, some people would say I am too. But of course I mean
the kinder definition of the word.
Why is it that every brand has a different notion of how to size
board shorts?
I hate trying on clothes, would love to just walk in to a shop,
grab a pair I like, and head home confident they’ll fit. But it’s
always a roll of the dice. Grab three pairs, one will fit, one will
be too tight, the last will fall off my ass. Seems a bit silly,
sizes are just supposed to correspond to waist circumference,
right?
Is it a vanity sizing thing?
Like, the tighter ones are the right number, the ones that fit
make me feel less fat? I hate to admit it, but that’d get me. Lucky
they sell the Da Hui brand boardshorts at Costco. Twenty bucks a
pair, comfy, sturdy. Yeah, even their sizes are fucked, I grabbed
two identical pairs recently and am absolutely swimming in one, but
at that price I don’t mind so much.
And I can always exchange them the next time I go to buy cartons
of cigarettes and toilet paper, though of course I won’t. I’ll just
keep forgetting them at home until I say fuck it, cut the tag off,
and wear them around the house with my ass hanging out.
Of course, dealing with the mentally ill, addicted, and
combinations of the two, has no easy fix. Some people might support
the notion of snatching them off the streets and forcing them into
treatment, and I’ll admit that has some emotional appeal, but,
realistically, the idea of giving our government that power
terrifies me.
Hawaii State Representative Isaac Choy is looking to expand
Honolulu’s sit/lie ban statewide, proving once again that
politicians have little idea of how laws work, and will do anything
to avoid actual solutions to the state’s homeless problem.
Of course, dealing with the mentally ill, addicted, and
combinations of the two, has no easy fix. Some people might support
the notion of snatching them off the streets and forcing them into
treatment, and I’ll admit that has some emotional appeal, but,
realistically, the idea of giving our government that power
terrifies me.
Notionally the law would be selectively enforced, used to push
our hobo contingent from areas the tourists have to see them into
local parks and neighborhoods. Which is a shitty thing to do for
all parties concerned, and ignores the fact that laws don’t work
like that. If Choy get’s his way it’ll become illegal to spend a
day at any of our state beaches. And, yeah, supposedly the cops
won’t use that to fuck with people, but if you believe that lie
then I’ve got a really nice bridge to sell you.
A quick and easy solution to at least part of the homelessness
epidemic would be to address the illegal housing situation. There
are already laws and government bodies that exist to ensure homes
aren’t removed from the long term market and used to earn a quick
and sleazy buck by renting to tourists. Flood the market with
those, literally, thousands of homes and we’d see rental prices
plummet as a whole slew of places become available. Not
everyone is homeless because they suck at life. Low wages and bad
luck can combine to put the hardest of workers on the street.
How funny is it that they killed that one Mormon terrorist guy
in Oregon?
And all the fanatics that claim to defend our constitution
without understanding it are crying foul! I’ll be the first
to condemn trigger happy coward cops, but if you go on national
television and repeatedly state you’ll shoot at any law enforcement
that tries to arrest you, while continuing to commit various
felonies, you’ve gotta expect them to shoot first.
At least his 11 children can rest easy knowing he’s in whatever
horrible splinter-Mormon afterlife it is they believe in. One
where there are no black people, women know their place, and
everyone is free to rape public land to their heart’s content.
I recently finished reading Lev Grossman’s Magicians
Trilogy. Very fun stuff, especially if you’re a huge fan of
the fantasy genre. He does a great job of injecting all your
favorite tropes into the real world, following the unhappy
protagonist through Hogwarts and into Narnia.
Gives the kid everything he could wish for, but faces the fact
that, no matter where you go, there you are.
