Everyone's ears are cocked! | Photo: Steve Sherman/Photo Union Worker/Surfing magazine

Invest: Villager is almost here!

Taj Burrow, Jack Freestone and pals' coconut water co will make you millions!

Remember St. Archer? The extreme sport craft beer financed by action sport stars that took the world by storm, eventually selling to MillerCoors for multiple tens of millions of dollars?

I remember when I first heard the concept that I almost spit vodka out my nose. “Another craft beer in San Diego?” I chortled. “Ha!” The market here, for those who don’t know, is gagged with a bazillion tons of hops and barley and mostly hops since IPA is trending hard. And distribution is controlled by very few. How would a dang extreme sport craft beer even begin to compete. “HA!”

Boy, was I wrong.

And now the same team is entering another choked market. Coconut water! That’s right, you’ve seen Laura Enever’s post, the word VILLAGER in black on a simple white background. You’ve maybe even followed @villagergoods and seen that same logo tiled across the page.

But what is?

Extreme sport Coconut water as financed by action sport stars! I’m sure there is some sort of ecological/giving-back angle. I’m sure it will have electrolytes. I’m sure it will taste good and be branded well. I’m sure they will steal market share and be scooped up.

Investors include Jack Freestone and Taj Burrow, Taylor Knox, Pat, Dane and Tanner Gudauskas, Laura Enever, and best skateboarder in the world Paul Rodriguez.

I’m sure, this time, that everyone will make multiple tens of millions of dollars.

Can you think of an ultra-crowded market that BeachGrit can jump in? A fast food chain that sells hamburgers and french fries? A bread company where the product comes to your grocery shelf tucked in a clear plastic bag? Cold-pressed juices? Coffee?

Help us help you!


Rage: Mavericks event cancelled!

The Titans of Mavericks would have run Thursday but for one small inconvenience.

Yesterday giant waves pummeled northern California’s most famous big wave surfing spot. “… one of the bigger days I’ve seen all year, and it was pumping so hard that it was throwing over,” surfer Galend Barbour told the Bay Area’s KRON 4 news. “Mavericks usually has this way of kind of crumbling and not really having a barrel. Today, there was so much force that there is literally walls of water just peeling over.”

Surfline, forecasting website with a predilection for dark kink, claimed 23 foot plus waves with gorgeous winds. Near perfect conditions. But no Titans of Mavericks event. Why?

That damned Super Bowl!

America’s grandest sporting spectacle is set to kick off this Sunday in nearby Santa Clara. The Denver Broncos, piloted by an aging gun-slinger, will take on the young, brash Carolina Panthers. Fun for most! Except the Titans of Mavericks organizers. Apparently they were told there were no police, sheriffs or even Coast Guard for them to use and, thus, they could not run their little thing. And so the best days in recent history when uncontested.

And son of a bitch. First catty infighting, then being outshone by Jaws, then getting busted for sexism and now this? Everyone is pinning hopes on El Nino bringing tons more contestable action so no worries, right? Right? RIGHT?

Do you think that made the Titans of Mavericks feel like their needs were met? Do you think they felt like equal citizens in this American democracy? Do surf lives matter?

Playlist: Music for the drunk and weary!

Maybe worst five-song playlist you've ever heard! Or, if you're special, the best!

I scored some fun surf yesterday evening. Nothing magic, but I absolutely love semi-closed out bumpy dumpy barrels. And I finally feel like I can almost surf at 100% again. It’s been a long road back and I’m frothing like a teenager.

Because I live on the east side of Kauai early morning sessions at the local are a nightmare. Staring straight into a rising sun, I don’t know how other people deal with it. I just usually wait until 10am or so, when the sun is high enough in the sky that it doesn’t scorch my eyeballs.

But yesterday was so fun I hit it early.

No wind or rain last night, figured it’d be glassy smooth beautiful.

Which it was not. Terrible morning sickness in effect, but some fun looking wedges and no one else around. One of those days that looks like shit if you don’t take a solid twenty minutes to check it. Watched a few guys pull up and bounce out before a set.

Surfed for five hours, I can barely stand. But I grabbed a six pack of Pacifico on the way home, I’m gonna drink the entire thing and listen to my fave post session playlist.

Had some fun, and then it cleaned up and got magic. I’ve never understood how that works, when the wind is the same, but the sun comes out and all of a sudden it glasses off and the murky water clears. Pressure systems or something, I’m sure.

Surfed for five hours, I can barely stand. But I grabbed a six pack of Pacifico on the way home, I’m gonna drink the entire thing and listen to my fave post session playlist.

Fleetwood Mac, Rumours.

Sweet god damn, do I love Fleetwood Mac! I’m not music guy, so I don’t really have the vocabulary to explain why I love this album so much, but it’s full of hit after hit after hit, so I know I’m not alone.

Beach Boys, Pet Sounds

Best album of all time? Yes! Sure, it’s really just Brian Wilson crying over a girl like some creepy nice guy stalker, but that sick madness was channeled perfectly into genius.

Jethro Tull, The Very Best Of

Motherfucking flute rock!

David Bowie, Ziggy Stardust

My wife can always tell when I’m super drunk, because ZS goes on repeat.

Rush, Fly by Night

Falsetto nerd rock makes me happy.

Simon and Garfunkel, Bridge Over Troubled Water

Years ago, my wife surprised me with tickets to Simon and Garfunkel at the Hollywood Bowl. What a magical night! I yelled at an old lady who complained we were blocking her view of the stage. We were up in the nosebleeds, and the two 100 year old men who were rocking the house barely moved the entire concert. There wasn’t shit to see anyway.

Buy: Dion Agius’s dream apartment!

The biggest little surfer's loss could be your gain!

Do you love miniature trains, Tasmanian devils and ocean front living? Then you’ll love Dion Agius’s Currumbin apartment! He has called the Queensland suburb, famous for wildlife and white people,  home for many years. But things change and people change and Dion is moving on. His loss? You’re gain!

“Hello there friends…” he says “…I’ve finally decided to part ways with my sweet heart of a little apartment in Currumbin after many amazing years… it’s now up online if anyone is looking for a sweet new Currumbin pad only 2 mins from beach…”

The listing reads:

Wake up and enjoy your coffee while deciding what water sport you will enjoy for the day. 

Paddle board on the Currumbin Estuary just steps from your door, surf at the world class surfing break “Currumbin Alley” at the end of your street or take a dip in your sparkling resort style pool. 

Also features 

– Modern in design and layout with neutral tones 
– Two bedrooms, two bathrooms 
– Gourmet kitchen, stainless steel appliances, electric cook-top 
– Air conditioning 
– Open plan kitchen and living area
– Lap pool with heated spa
– Landscaped gardens and BBQ area in complex 
– Security intercom 
– Dishwasher
– Separate laundry including clothes dryer

This specialised apartment is positioned above the pool area in “Ocean Walk” and are rare as they are the superior location within the complex and have been tightly held. 

Currumbin is known to be the most prestigious suburb on the southern gold coast, that historically has enjoyed high rental returns year round and high capital growth. 

We look forward to showing you through this wonderful opportunity in a red hot location.

Does it sound perfect? It should! Click here to purchase!

A purple sectional fit for a king!
A purple sectional fit for a king!

Kelly Slater wavepool, Cape Hatteras.
Come to Cape Hatteras, North Carolina, to ride the first commercial version of Kelly Slater's wave pool. The first sod gets turned later this year. The taps turn on in 2018.

Just in: First Slater pool to open in 2018?

Come inside and discover where!

You saw the movie, you lost your mind and you thought: when can I ride Kelly Slater’s wave pool?

This press release went under the radar when it was announced last year, ’cause who knew if a wavepool was ever going to actually exist except in a few radical thinker’s minds, but that first beautiful pool? Think: Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

First sod’s turned this year, the pool active by 2018, at least according to this.

Is it f’reals?

In the meantime, let’s examine the press release, dated March 31, 2015.

“As if 11 World Titles, ownership of Firewire Surfboards, and a roadmap to building the world’s best wave machine weren’t enough, Kelly Slater and REAL Watersports of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina announced their partnership on March 31st. The agreement includes Slater investing an undisclosed amount in REAL in exchange for ownership shares and the ability to utilize REAL’s resort, surrounding undeveloped land and strong community ties to develop the long awaited Kelly Slater Wave Company(KSWC) Wave Pool. Kelly will also be working with REAL to develop, distribute and market Kelly’s new line of surfboards, built by Firewire, and branded WHEELHOUSE.

“Kelly’s been looking for a solid partner for the KSWC for quite some time. He was even quoted in Surfing magazine as saying ‘the ultimate location for my pool will be a resort, already located in a good wave location, that wants to guarantee a first class surfing experience. This location will have everything onsite, including a surf shop, restaurant and bar, and first class accommodations.’ If you’ve been to REAL, you already know it’s a dead on match for what Kelly has been looking for to launch his KSWC Wave Pool.

“Kelly’s association and now ownership of Firewire is what brought Kelly and REAL to the table. Kelly being the gear head that he is, immediately gravitated to Daniel “Tomo” Thompson, Firewire’s futuristic board designer, to give him the upper hand on the next generation of surfboard shapes and technologies. With Tomo’s next level knowledge of surfboard design, Kelly immediately realized that the influences in hydrodynamics were not only coming from surfing, Tomo was also talking about kiteboarding, hydrofoiling, even sailing and how all of these “boards” were influencing each other. Slater has many friends around the world who already kiteboard or kitesurf, but hadn’t tried it himself. Tomo immediately said…”You have to go to REAL! They have the ultimate setup. Surf shop, school, restaurant, accommodations, live music, all right on the water. It’s a first class operation, plus the people at REAL are great. Really switched on and into what they’re doing”. The match had been thrown in the gasoline…

“REAL has already retained Overton Engineering to develop preliminary site work sketches and pool location. REAL Co-Founder Trip Formandesigned the current REAL site plan and had this to say about the KSWC expansion: “Our goal with the new KSWC layout is to have the pool as close to the Pamlico Sound as possible, creating an infinity wave pool experience where beachgoers can watch both surfing and kiteboarding action at the same time, both in perfect conditions. We’re even bringing in REAL Slider Park kiteboarders Joby CookJason SlezakEric Rienstra and Brandon Scheid to consult with us on the construction of a “Wall Ride” slider running the entire waterfront edge of the wave pool. Whether you’re surfing, kiteboarding or just sitting on the man made Cape Hatteras sand beach taking it all in, this is going to be a one of a kind development.”

“When looking over the site plan and hearing Forman speak about the details, it seems as if nothing has been left to spare. A new 20,000sq ft “Aquaplex” will be erected just east of the pool containing VIP boxes, shaded viewing areas, a restaurant and bar, ping pong, billiards and foosball tables, locker rooms and a stretch/yoga area. Single bedroom efficiency apartments will be located upstairs, all with outdoor decks over looking the pool and Pamlico Sound. There’s even a Tiki Bar on the “island” in the middle of the pool. “For anyone who has participated in a development of this size, you know the design and permit process is a lengthy one. Typically you spend more time on the front side, before even breaking ground, than you do on construction of the final masterpiece. It’s all worth it though if you want to make it perfect. Based on the timeline of the current REAL Resort, it’s looking like we will be breaking ground Fall 2016 with a Spring/Summer 2018 Grand Opening.”

“‘We’re excited about the next step REAL and Kelly are taking together. I grew up surfing the Outer Banks and have been a big time fan of Kelly’s forever. We can’t wait to see the rollout of the two new bars at the KSWC Pool at REAL. The coldest Carolina Brewery beers on draft served over perfect waves with an epic sunset backdrop. That’s “Cheers” Carolina Style!’” Robert Poitras Founder/Owner Carolina Brewery

“Tech to the Next Level
Sure you’ll be surfing the world’s most perfect, predictable wave, sending your honed wave cracking skills through the roof. But will anyone believe you that you landed that mute grabbed 540? REAL’s close ties with Soloshot led to the idea of mounting a 360 degree Soloshot Camera system atop the Tiki Bar in the center of the pool. Included with the surfing pass will be free use of the Soloshot equipment and live surfing footage streaming in the Tiki Bar, the KS Aquaplex Bar and also at Watermen’s Bar & Grill. Since the pool is circular, the Soloshot Camera will rotate indefinitely, capturing every surfer and every wave. The Soloshot Camera can capture up to 10 riders for each camera, so additional wristbands can be worn by kiters riding the surrounding Wall Ride feature. Take away raw footage and edited videos will be available at an additional fee.”

Does the idea of flying to Hatteras to ride the pool drill you with happiness?

Does your virility spring upward at the thought?

Is it real?

(The real short answer: no, as revealed by BeachGrit’s bank of world-wide commenters, including master shaper Maurice Cole. Scroll down to read! Bathe in our humiliation! Our gullibility!)

Kelly’s Wave from Kelly Slater Wave Company on Vimeo.