Francis “Alekai” Kinimaka
Francis “Alekai” Kinimaka, brother of Titus Kinimaka, was arrested by DLNR Division of Conservation and Resources (DOCARE) officers when he beached a jet-ski on Kalalau Beach, a closed area, without a permit.

Opinion: “I detest haole mooch sacks!”

But arresting a native Hawaiian surfer for wanting to live off the land?

Former professional surfer, Alekai Kinimaka, brother of Kauai legend Titus Kinimaka, was arrested by Hawaii DLNR this past Thursday for illegally landing his jetski at Kalalau Beach, on Kauai’s Napali Coast.

In addition to Kinimaka’s arrest, DLNR cited nearly seventy people for illegal camping in one of the periodic sweeps which seeks to rid of the area of its homeless hippy scourge.

Kinimaka is, reportedly, a longtime illegal resident of the area, and faces potentially severe consequences due to state’s ability to pursue both criminal charges and the DLNR’s ability to pursue civil administrative proceedings. Essentially, the state puts him in jail, the DLNR takes his money.

Morally, it’s a complicated matter. While I absolutely detest the scumbag haole mooch sacks who fly out and endeavor to spend their days raping aloha, Kinimaka is full on Hawaiian. If he wants to live in the bushes on the land stolen from his ancestors, hell, who am I to throw stones?

Morally, it’s a complicated matter. While I absolutely detest the scumbag haole mooch sacks who fly out and endeavor to spend their days raping aloha, Kinimaka is full on Hawaiian. If he wants to live in the bushes on the land stolen from his ancestors, hell, who am I to throw stones?

Though, speaking of throwing stones, I sure wish I’d had a handful to wing at the pack of dread locked crackers who set up at Kealia a few days ago. The shit heads had strung hammocks through the trees like the trash birds they are, and set a bonfire burning mid-day in the center of a path to the beach, the smoldering remains of which were still there the following day.

If I had my way I’d make possession of bongo drums illegal, the penalty for which would be a public caning followed by forced return to whichever mainland suburb from which they sprang.

Kalalau Ops Media Clips 2-5-16 from Hawaii DLNR on Vimeo.

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Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago

Napoleon was pretty ruthless too no one gives a fuck about those poor white cunts

madweed
madweed
10 years ago

what about an expose on the surf industry in australia /world on how some of the finest craftsman 25year +shapers like stuart darcy and others are having to get other jobs asking on facebook????

Dusty Butt
Dusty Butt
10 years ago

I hope DLNR at least took Kinimaka for a ride to Jurassic Falls to get a selfie.
From the powered raft ride I went on to Napli last year you could smell the dreadlocks

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago

i know what you’re saying and understand the historical reasons for the way things are today. i don’t really care one way or the other because at the end of the day it’s meaningless. but i’ve observed that minorities tend to pick and choose when their traditions benefit them and then exploit/utilise that. different rules for different people doesn’t seem like a sound foundation for a society to me, but i’m a fucking idiot.

DoubleOverAnkle
DoubleOverAnkle
10 years ago

Fuck hippies!!!!

yep
yep
10 years ago

you just did.

velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago

Excellent synopsis, Seas nail. Would love to see a long-form investigative piece on the Kauai DLNR aka Westside mafia.

John Cocktoastin
John Cocktoastin
10 years ago

Bums, all of ’em. Too lazy to get a job and participate in society.

Beel
Beel
10 years ago

Sounds like Alekai was trying to work…

Seaman
Seaman
10 years ago

The DLNR is a joke. Alikai and other locals clean up kalalau Valley after every summer is over. Worried about natural resources? How about checking the contamination golf fields produce over reef ecosystems for decades? Humm.. Can’t investigate your white skin bosses huh….

Fahking Haole
Fahking Haole
10 years ago

The Trustafarians are a continuing problem here (more in the north, none in the south really). I never pick them up hitchhiking, though local kids will always get rides from me to the beach. I actually went to high school with one of those Kalalau squatters and have seen how they roll: get a ride to town, bathe locally at someone’s house, load up on a bunch of stuff at Costco, get a ride back and…leave the trash of course. He called it “fleeing Babylon”. Dude, we’re 50. You’re fleeing reality. And he gets a bunch of likes on Facebook from people on the mainland for his “lifestyle” who have no idea he’s mooching on free land. As for Kinimaka, Rory, I think part of the issue is that he was possibly charging for rides in and out. I don’t think he was arrested for just driving the ski up on the beach. Can you follow up and/or verify?

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago
Reply to  Fahking Haole

I heard that too. But, if someone bites off more than they can chew with the hike, better he taxes them than search and rescue has to mobilize.

He only got popped for landing on the beach, which is illegal. Reports of him giving rides don’t really matter, since he didn’t get caught doing it.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

Do you believe there is a contradiction between living in the bushes and owning a jet ski? I ask this because in my own country the native people are allowed to hunt turtles in the traditional way (the traditional way now typically involves motorboats). I don’t think they had motorboats back in the day but everyone’s too afraid to tell them…..

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago

It doesn’t bother me, but I hear that argument a lot, especially as it pertains to hunting.

But, man, it’s the 21st century. If you want to hunt pigs, use a compound bow. You can be gnarly and use a spear if that’s your thing, but I don’t think that staying in touch with your heritage necessitates living some 100% throwback lifestyle.

And of course there are assholes who take advantage and ruin it for everyone. That stuff sucks and has to be dealt with case by case.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

I’m just pissed off because I can’t use dynamite in the dams anymore. It was good wholesome family fun.

Nick Dee
Nick Dee
10 years ago
Reply to  Fahking Haole

As FahKingHaole said, Kinimaka has zero rights because Hawaii (like Palestine) is a European (haole) colony. Kinimaka is only allowed what the haole allow him.

Fahking Haole
Fahking Haole
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Dee

I didn’t say he had “zero rights” because that’s not the way it works here. I asked Rory to clarify why he was arrested, based on what the local papers were reporting.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
10 years ago

Free Ale Kai you bastards.

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

you don’t have to throw stones. Sounds like they’d just bounce off his cell walls anyway. Waves look fun in the background.

longtom
longtom
10 years ago

Any chance we could see Hawaiians taking over a public building/reserve?

my sympathies are definitely with Kinimaka. That kind of heavy handed law enforcement must drive the locals wild.

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Sovereignty folks takeover Iolani Palace occasionally. But as peaceful protesters, rather than heavily armed Mormon lunatics.

longtom
longtom
10 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

Sounds like something you could base a political career out of if you wanted a Hunter S style detour from surf writing.


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