We live in a golden age of online commentary…
I came into the surf game when comments under Internet stories were but a newborn babe and social media was still affixed to Mark Zuckerberg’s fertile womb. Everything was anonymous and the rage poured like a handicapped waterfall.
“You fag!” people would post.
“You fag no good surf!”
Very rudimentary sentence structures. Silly playground taunts with no flair. No élan.
Dude once you get albee’s dick outta your mouth maybe come to Maui and surf? Would love to watch you drown, since you know nothing about surfing and just write bullshit stories about how you are a total faggot who lives in L.A and wishes he could put Albees foreskin in your gum line. Please write an article about this too, I’m waiting.
Life has changed, though, and it seems that true artists now flourish on message boards, Instagram, Twitter and underneath stories. I was messaged on Facebook a while back, apparently in regards to something I wrote about famous and handsome professional surfer Albee Layer, but I didn’t see it until recently. And this is what the message said:
Dude once you get albee’s dick outta your mouth maybe come to Maui and surf? Would love to watch you drown, since you know nothing about surfing and just write bullshit stories about how you are a total faggot who lives in L.A and wishes he could put Albees foreskin in your gum line. Please write an article about this too, I’m waiting.
How could I not? It would be the same as leaving Khalil Gibran’s great works unseen. Like never committing Robert Frost to the page.
On top of it all, he offered to introduce me to some of his friends.
I got some bi-sexual friends on “backpage” they want to meet up with you in LA after I showed them this pic of you. They seem really excited!
The globe is warming, catastrophically. The Middle East is melting down, China’s economy is grinding to a halt, doom and gloom. Except on the Internet, where the flowers of friendship are in full bloom.
You will have to get Anastasia Ashley to read it aloud for us!
YES, PLEASE!!! (Note…as an homage to Chas’ criticism of grammar faux pas’ I put the comma in)
I believe it was Auden who said: “Dion’s a ciggie smoking hipster cunt who eats Noa’s asshole!” If my memory serves correct.
You are wrong. That was Yeats. Auden wrote, “Brazils full of gay fags.”
Hmmm…I didn’t know that cigarettes had a sexual orientation.
Is anyone denying these allegations?
He should write for Stab.
It is too original.
Should? Already does.