Should the world's best be forced to tag a wind-eaten four-foot pain in the ass?
It was late 2012 when ZoSea’s Paul Speaker and Tez Hardy came in and convinced the perpetually broke ASP to hand over the keys to pro surfing? For the third time in the three decades of pro surfing, the sport had itself a new daddy.
There sure was a lot of talk of new futures etc. Surf co’s could now buy ’emselves an event for one mill instead of three. Made you wanna drink and shoot dice. Pro surfing was gettin’ good.
So, a couple of years later, what have we got? Same damn thing we had in 1976 or at least 1988.
This morning’s heritage heat between Barton Lynch (1988 world champ) and two-times Bells winner Damien Hardman (and 87 and 91 world champ) was living proof of that hoary old epigram “Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose” or “The more shit changes, the more it’s the same old thang.”
Watch this heat between the two fifty-somethings. There’s only so many ways to eat a dirty burger.
Is this the best use of the world’s best surfers’ phenomenal skills? To grimly tag a wind-eaten four-foot pain in the ass?
Did you see John John’s face when he lost to the rookie Caio Ibelli by four-hundredths of point? Don’t you think we could maybe midwife John John’s talents into something a little better than this? Y’think he’s going to bother dropping his britches and whipping his dick out on tour if this is all there is?
There was a lot of talk of apples versus oranges between John John and Caio. As in, does mediocrity on a set beat someone who drags you down an alley and knocks you out?
Still, there were…moments… as there has to be. The Santa Babs rookie Conner Coffin was smellin’ good.
Kelly continued his slow-mo train wreck, losing to Michel Bourez.
And, tell me, at the five minute mark, does Kelly fall off at the end of the turn, scoop himself up in the whitewater, fooling the judges into an eight and a piece?
Round 3 Results:
Heat 7: Mick Fanning (AUS) 16.60 def. Dusty Payne (HAW) 11.57
Heat 8: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 15.33 def. Kai Otton (AUS) 13.26
Heat 9: Conner Coffin (USA) 16.27 def. Joel Parkinson (AUS) 13.26
Heat 10: Michel Bourez (PYF) 14.83 def. Kelly Slater (USA) 13.70
Heat 11: Caio Ibelli (BRA) 15.54 def. John def. John Florence (HAW) 15.50
Heat 12: Davey Cathels (AUS) 15.40 def. Gabriel Medina (BRA) 12.07
Round 4 heats:
Heat 1: Italo Ferreira (BRA), Nat Young (USA), Julian Wilson (AUS)
Heat 2: Matt Wilkinson (AUS), Wiggolly Dantas (BRA), Mason Ho (HAW)
Heat 3: Mick Fanning (AUS), Jordy Smith (ZAF), Conner Coffin (USA)
Heat 4: Michel Bourez (PYF), Caio Ibelli (BRA), Davey Cathels (AUS)