Should the world's best be forced to tag a wind-eaten four-foot pain in the ass?
It was late 2012 when ZoSea’s Paul Speaker and Tez Hardy came in and convinced the perpetually broke ASP to hand over the keys to pro surfing? For the third time in the three decades of pro surfing, the sport had itself a new daddy.
There sure was a lot of talk of new futures etc. Surf co’s could now buy ’emselves an event for one mill instead of three. Made you wanna drink and shoot dice. Pro surfing was gettin’ good.
So, a couple of years later, what have we got? Same damn thing we had in 1976 or at least 1988.
This morning’s heritage heat between Barton Lynch (1988 world champ) and two-times Bells winner Damien Hardman (and 87 and 91 world champ) was living proof of that hoary old epigram “Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose” or “The more shit changes, the more it’s the same old thang.”
Watch this heat between the two fifty-somethings. There’s only so many ways to eat a dirty burger.
Is this the best use of the world’s best surfers’ phenomenal skills? To grimly tag a wind-eaten four-foot pain in the ass?
Did you see John John’s face when he lost to the rookie Caio Ibelli by four-hundredths of point? Don’t you think we could maybe midwife John John’s talents into something a little better than this? Y’think he’s going to bother dropping his britches and whipping his dick out on tour if this is all there is?
There was a lot of talk of apples versus oranges between John John and Caio. As in, does mediocrity on a set beat someone who drags you down an alley and knocks you out?
Still, there were…moments… as there has to be. The Santa Babs rookie Conner Coffin was smellin’ good.
Kelly continued his slow-mo train wreck, losing to Michel Bourez.
And, tell me, at the five minute mark, does Kelly fall off at the end of the turn, scoop himself up in the whitewater, fooling the judges into an eight and a piece?
RESULTS:
Round 3 Results:
Heat 7: Mick Fanning (AUS) 16.60 def. Dusty Payne (HAW) 11.57
Heat 8: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 15.33 def. Kai Otton (AUS) 13.26
Heat 9: Conner Coffin (USA) 16.27 def. Joel Parkinson (AUS) 13.26
Heat 10: Michel Bourez (PYF) 14.83 def. Kelly Slater (USA) 13.70
Heat 11: Caio Ibelli (BRA) 15.54 def. John def. John Florence (HAW) 15.50
Heat 12: Davey Cathels (AUS) 15.40 def. Gabriel Medina (BRA) 12.07
Round 4 heats:
Heat 1: Italo Ferreira (BRA), Nat Young (USA), Julian Wilson (AUS)
Heat 2: Matt Wilkinson (AUS), Wiggolly Dantas (BRA), Mason Ho (HAW)
Heat 3: Mick Fanning (AUS), Jordy Smith (ZAF), Conner Coffin (USA)
Heat 4: Michel Bourez (PYF), Caio Ibelli (BRA), Davey Cathels (AUS)
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BTW Derek you’re a provocative biased fuck if you pretend that heritage heat wasn’t fucking awesome.
As for the rest I actually think it’s been a pretty interesting Bells this year if you count out the overscoring of Coffin, Tyler, Steph and Mason…
But we all know at this time of year The Box, and North Point are on fire
Derek Riley you truly are a disrespectful prick of a man
Wade?
You mean the Wade that allowed Otis to be called a monkey… the Wade that insulted and bullied people online who criticised Pro Surfing?
If so you’re not a prick of a man as you don’t even deserve to be called a man.
nope wrong wade,gives us other wade’s a bad name
Sorry mate, that was a harsh insult.
I’d rather watch a Bells contest at any size than a contest at perfect ten-foot Teahupoo.
huh
Gimme foam climbs, roundhouses, open-face carves, and smoothing through dead sections any day, over take off pull-in repeat, here’s your 10. Imperfect waves are far, far more interesting. But then again, I’m a cultured person.
I’m not cultured, but I’m realistic…there’s some magic in watching rippers in conditions resembling what most of us have to resort to for a maintenance surf.
No fuckin way, boys.
I get the angle….but can not agree with the shitty location
Surf contests are like giving the worlds best artists children’s coloring books. Whoever follows the instructions best and stays within the lines gets the best scores.
The most entertaining surfers don’t see lines only a blank canvas but that style of surfing is rarely if ever rewarded by the expert judges.
this. is. beautiful.
this guy is a prophet! Amen!
I’ve been telling people that for years but for some reason the mags still won’t put my pictures in.
I believe that North Point has been added to the permit for this year.
Caio surfed that heat pretty well. JJF surfed the shit out of it and didn’t deserve to lose. All hail Matty Wilko!
Bells is the dirty skid mark on the underwear that is the WSL, I am really surprised this is still an event. Next we have Margret River, why doesn’t that event just run between The Box and North Point?
More like the frayed old briefs with the worn out elastic.
+ Rio – skid mark
+ Portugal – skid mark that matters
“The world’s best surfers surfing the world’s best waves” it certainly is not.
I have deleted these shit events from my mind, but no other event claims as much relevance as Bells
Havent you already written this article this week?
Actually it makes a change to see them surfing a normal wave mate, unlike in the 80s when surfing shit was an expected occurrence especially in the early rounds. Good to see Barton and Damien looking pretty loose and fast.
Scary how little difference there was between heritage heat and WST heats alright.
Fuck, even when I was I little kid I knew watching Hardman and Barton was tediously boring.
Most unwatchable wave on tour, even when it’s “on”. Then you add the viewing angle down from the cliff and it takes even more piss out of it… Wake me up when Margaret’s moves to the Box.
Amen.
i’ll nap till north point
So Snapper was better , those incredible barrels , long driving supa fast barreling right handers. We she be happy that bells has turned on some swells , at least 3-4 times the size of snapper , and yeah pretty average winds , but talking to Trent Munro , when he won Bells not one heat as early Bells , often the swells are flat and winds east . John John sat on the shoulder in his heat and paid the price by being always taking off where most surfers are doing their first top turn. Kely searching for his mojo , at least his bds looked a bit better , but as noticed at snapper , bds are all slower this year except for stu K , who’s bds go as fast as Micks last year! Bells on Friday looks fun offshore , 18 sec swell and just like till now very contestable , but probably a bit raw for you east coasters who love those clean tiny beachies at 8 sec,now that’s boring!
Snapper was once again sub par as well, but a far better watch. Maybe it’s the beach level cameras, maybe it’s all the girls butts… who knows?
p.s. not an eastcoaster, I’m in Encinitas, CA bring your stopwatch and we’ll time some periods at the reefs!
butts, definitely the butts.
Interesting to hear that you prefer watching ,long 2′ rights with lotsa cut backs , I guess its personal . Being on the beach live, I love surfers and their equipment being challenged and having to dig deep to find good heat winning scores ….ah the adversity of it all !!
I was talking East Coast Australia, but do know your area ,as I have spent a lot of time surfin Blacks and swamis, even had swamis a mth ago , Friday , solid and very good!!
Being on the beach live would be awesome and I would be right next to you if possible, just talking webcast here. Glad you got it good here, this winter has been on offer constantly it seems 🙂
how did you enjoy yesterdays event at Bells?
3-4′ very contestable , and more barrels at bells than Snapper haha!
you sure? Springtime wind swell usually runs in the 8 second period range so maybe hold that invite until July or so? And please don’t refer to Swami’s and Cardiff as “the reefs.” Blah.
hey maurice, your beard swinging on the onshore winds, ‘that’ was a sight of beauty…
I actually agree, I don’t mind Bells to be completely honest, I haven’t surfed there but looks alright for someone like me, I also believe you have to be a really good surfer to win it. If you look through the past winners there aren’t too many that you would question weren’t deserving of the win.
yeah if you haven’t won a Bell , why? A lot of people don’t see that there are 4-5 take off areas at bells , I am always amazed how on the shoulder the pros take off as waves actually peel over a 100 m to get to them sometimes , its a real fun wave , and it does barrel every now and then , but Bells takes a while to work out!!
Don’t get me started on reasons why I haven’t won a Bell, like anywhere those that put in the time tend to get results, Desouza is a fine example of this. I remember years ago watching the WQS at Raglan and being frustrated at how many waves the pros were missing by sitting out of position and Raglan is pretty easy to work out where to sit in the scheme of things.
please get started , any reasons will do ….and yes de Souza is the perfect example as he came here for 5 years straight after Snapper and spent weeks and weeks literally surfing everyday on every different tide/wind and swell. I get really frustrated watching them all take off , after the wave has peeled off for a considerable distance as per John John who just sat on the shoulder , looking good for Friday -Sunday finish in better quality surf than so far. Rip On!!
Joel Parkinson with the attempted headstand – most progressive move done at Bells in years.
Do you always rephrase the same joke on two different websites for more upvotes?
Yes, absolutely.
are you Bethanys brother? You rock the boogie man!
Joel “retired” Parko should have left the tour a couple years ago.
Yes! He’s more retired than CJ Hobgood!
did Joel steal your girlfriend Jim? Or give her a few lines of yack at a party while you were stuck outside watching through the window? Seriously how can someone hate Joel Parkinson’s surfing so much?
You think Joel’s missus approves of your question?
We are actually good friends
Question now is
Were you with her missus in the other room?
Most progressive move he’s done in years for sure!