Shuttle buses overturned! A pro brained by a flying beer bottle!
It’s official, the Rio event has been moved. Taking place at Grumari, a reportedly better wave located in a nature preserve 25 km outside Rio.
But you probably already know that. Tad late to the game today.
Maybe it’s a good thing. Surf destroyed the primary site, undermined the bridge they built to protect the pros. Brazilian bridges ain’t doing so hot right now.
I was expecting to see the thing get rocked and toppled, some unlucky soul torn to shreds by a maddened crowd. At the very least we’d have witnessed a pro get brained by a flying beer bottle.
Instead we’re gonna see a riot. The question is where, and when.
Packing a bajillion people into one place, feeding them beer, and expecting them to behave when they get bored is a recipe for disaster. I’d be terrified to attend. Too much chance for a crush, or series of fistfights that turn into shooting wars.
“While shuttle busses [sic] will be available to take hardcore fans to the pristine park, Postinho, with its easy access to public transportation, will still be where the bustling party crowd will be enjoying music, two huge screens streaming the live action, and the popular Corona-hosted beach bar.”
An offsite venue with huge screens displaying action seems like a decent idea. Until you remember that surf contests are pretty damn boring. Too much downtime. A couple slow heats can drag on for an eternity.
Packing a bajillion people into one place, feeding them beer, and expecting them to behave when they get bored is a recipe for disaster. I’d be terrified to attend. Too much chance for a crush, or series of fistfights that turn into shooting wars. Brazilian infrastructure’s far too slapdash for me to believe they’ve taken truly effective safety precautions.
And there’s no way they’ll have enough shuttles. Moving thousands of people to and from the contest site each day will be a logistical nightmare. I can’t believe they’ve hired the massive fleet required to pull it off successfully. More likely they’re counting on most people staying put, partying off-site, while only a small number of “hardcore” fans bother with the ride. And that’ll go terribly wrong.
Either they’ll end up with people waiting for hours to catch a ride to Grumari, in which case we’ll see a bus tipped by an impatient mob.
Or people will end up stranded late into the night as drivers struggle to empty the beach. Traffic will gridlock. The crowd will turn ugly and destroy every structure.
Whichever the case there’ll be a few deaths, a bunch of injuries, and the WSL will be left scratching its proverbial head pondering, “Where did we go wrong?”
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Breaking News: Rory finally displays his true “anti-brazzo” sentiments, implying these South American savages cannot help themselves and will riot, initially as “fistfights that turn into shooting wars.” How long until Chas chimes in that even the BitchyCrab suffers from this prejudicial afflication. Oh the irony.
people are such scared pussies regarding brasil. whether you are at grumari or partying at postinho, there will be more hot ass than anyone of you guys could possibly handle, and plenty to keep ya busy. but most of you would rather hang out with the “hueys” right?
I think that you are giving the WSL too much credit. There are riots all the time in Brazil right now and the country’s government is collapsing/has collapsed. Whether the WSL is there, the Olympics, etc. people are pissed off and destroying shit irrespective of the fancy events.
Man this event stinks and it has not even started yet, meanwhile at Keramas today apparently (no webcast!!!) we had some of the worlds best surfers in some of the worlds best waves
Yes, there is a webcast, but it ain’t pretty. You’ll be hanging to hear the voice of Pottz again (I can’t believe I just wrote that?!)
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
Surely Joe Turpel needs to go first?
fuck off, his voice is very “comforting”. I feel safe and warm with him. As if grandpa came back from the dead and is telling me sweet stories
As for the surf forecast the comp looks like starting just after a really good run of swell. World lay day league for another event.
you are right, they’ve had massive, swell after swell for 3 weeks straight, ending on monday.. this thing looks doomed
There’s worry about spectators getting bored whilst on the piss watching surf heats at a beach bar, but watching track and field at the Olympics squeezed into a stadium is gonna be allllllllllll good.
The weird thing is that that have to drive right past Prainha to get to Grumari which is actually a really good wave…
HB residents are apparently flying out to help.
Parko, Taj and the Hueys will be watching from Keramas, beers in hand. Cheers, best equal 25th ever.
Like hosting a few hundred pot-heads* can top hosting a thousand hooligans in the World Cup sponsored by Bud.
* what will happen when people realize they will never make it to Grumari? they will do other things (maybe enjoy the beach, maybe get to work). simple as that. give it a couple hours and you will see that the only creatures standing are the ones that will be buying my products.
I bet everyone will be dying to hear Italo Ferreira speaking to a news reporter about the deaths at the riots. His voice cracking while fighting back tears and saying “I just super stok-ed to make my heat. It was super fun. It was super fun…..”