Shed a tear for his pain, for her sullen outlook.
I saw professional surfer Alex Gray in the departure lounge of Emirates flight EK 215 in Dubai. He was coming from South Africa, I believe. I had already been three days in transit. He had been flying for eight hours at least. The non-stop flight we were both looking down the barrel of was sixteen hours.
And the glamour of an international life rots very quickly at 30,000 feet. I used to love travel more than most anything. At nineteen I went to Egypt for a six month study abroad program and had a thirty hour layover in New York City for some reason even though I was flying from LAX to JFK then JFK to CAI. My travel agent offered to rebook the ticket, giving me a normal layover. I told her no and not because I wanted to catch a cab into the city and dance the night away. I stayed at the airport for those thirty hours, soaking up the joys of travel. The highs and lows, the possibilities the promise, the dream of a jet set existence. I thought, as I moved from hard bench to hard bench to generic kiosk to hard bench, that someday I wanted to look the like the elite airline status businessmen utterly annoyed at everything and everyone. I wanted to have traveled so much that I too hated all associated with it.
And I have arrived. The thought of getting on a plane, right now, turns my stomach. Of taking my computer out of my carry on bag and placing it in the plastic tray and placing my shoes in another plastic tray with my phone. Of having the security mister tell me that I need to put my watch in the plastic tray too even though my watch has never set off a metal detector. Of waiting for my section to be called. Of wedging into a rough fabric seat. Of 2 Broke Girls or The Big Bang Theory.
I don’t frankly know how the pros do it. A good half of their lives are spent in the air if they are lucky. Two-thirds if they are luckier. How does a depressed pall not cover everything they gaze upon? Alex and I had a nice chat about what I was doing and where he surfed before heading to our respective cocoons. He may well be on another plane right now, heading for surf somewhere. I am getting on another one in two days heading for the grave.
Most of this article talks about your own personal air travel experiences. You mentioned that like you, surfers travel on airplanes. Besides mentioning Alex Gray being on your flight, this article doesn’t do much to explain how surfers deal with all the travel and how it affects their lives. It was a good chance for you to talk about yourself again though! I don’t mind that, just work on your headlines. yewwww
I think you’re on the wrong site bruh.
My gripe was with the false headline. Obviously it’s quasi-satirical but I wanted to read how Wilko sneaks a wank in those claustrophobic restrooms 30k in the sky, or how Medina gets over the crippling frustration he endures when his step-dad fumbles his quiver’s sticker and tail pad placement. Maybe the dilemma of how to negotiate the throngs of vestal vagina thrust their way on the reg?
You almost had me pitying the modern day pro… Then I remembered a 5 year Quiksilver contract that Rory posted a week ago. I’m not so compassionate anymore.
peasants! get yeself into first class. flying is a joy. My world:
Having been fortunate enough to experience international First and Business class I would definitely agree that it is the way to go (at least whilst the G650 is in the shop). Asian airlines are the best for seats and service followed closely by the ME carriers (Emirates and Qatar both have good seats and service but the bar on the Emirates A380 might be the best thing in the sky). Lufthansa and BA do okay and the US domestics are what they are so if you have the money…don’t waste it. Two best flights ever…Zurich to Bankok on Thai in first and Newark to Singapore (17+ hours) in biz.
First class is better than economy!?
Yes!
Get fucked, Charlie Big Potatoes!
That’s my next goal…preferably by a Singapore Girl..in uniform.
I was a security expert, still mourning the death of my wife. My friend, who worked for an airline, offered me a job of chief of security, which I accepted. I was being flown to L.A. for the company’s annual meeting, where I was to be introduced as the new Chief of Security. But unfortunately for me, Charles Rane, a stoic and deranged terrorist, who was caught by the FBI and was also being flown to L.A. was on the plane. And Rane’s people were on board, who then took over the plane but I threw a monkey wrench into his plans.
Always bet on black.
Nice once Wes. Here I was thinking we had a bad arse on the hook
I have arrived at the point that I am annoyed by everyone and everything. But…I’m much more annoyed and annoying if I am home for more than two weeks. So this week it’s Minneapolis (which, Chas…if you were looking for Somali pirates all you have to do is go to the food court at the Mall of America), next week it’s London and then we have the options of Toronto, Appleton, WI or Portland sometime after that.
Holy shit; that’s some George Clooney “Up in in the air” style air miles. Doesn’t the security process in the US just desiccate your soul? It has to be 500% worse / slower / annoying than other countries.
Believe it or not I find security in Europe much more annoying. I usually tell them (not politely, I might add) that if they want to waste their time and mine by pulling apart my carryon then go ahead. I fly 100K miles a year and have averaged that 9 out of the last 10 years so if I was going to blow up an airplane I would have done it already. Believe it or not that whole TSA precheck thing is the best money that I’ve ever spent. It saves a lot of time.
you choose to go to those places?
Ha! If it were up to me the only places I would choose to go would be Rome, Jackson Hole, Singapore and Hawaii. The rest of them are just so that I can accumulate enough frequent flyer miles to fly business class on vacation and collect a paycheck every two weeks.
Like everything else in life, you weigh the costs and benefits. When the option is staying home and laying bricks, sitting on a plane for a while doesn’t seem so bad.
Could always go to Paradise: https://m.youtube.com/watch…
“He was coming from South Africa, I believe.”
Evidently, you’re not that great of a listener…
“And the glamour of an international life rots very quickly at 30,000 feet.”
Especially when you’re sitting next to a fat sweaty man with pungent garbage-y body odor and poo breath…
“I wanted to have traveled so much that I too hated all associated with it.”
Got there my second flight…
“Of 2 Broke Girls or The Big Bang Theory.”
Only thing worse would be an edit of Fanning heat footage (is that a different wave? The same one, just on loop?)…
“I am getting on another one in two days heading for the grave.”
… kamikaze mission?
A gray was most definitely in ZAF, after a short stint in another, more foggy part of Africa – Instagram Investigator
I was actually trying to throw some smoke. I respect the craft!
put another way – Alex’s Skeleton Bay footage will be dropping soon, but it’s nothing that compares to what the other guys already put out the other week.
You’re a ball hair away from Freerider, my friend.
Don’t say his name to loudly…