Everything is always terrible podcast

Podcast: “Everything is Always Terrible!”

Episode two from intensely prudish broadcaster Rory Parker!

Episode two of Everything is Always Terrible is in the can and I’m damned pleased with it.

The second installment brings us Brandon Campbell, better known to the world as Laserwolf. He’s a rare breed: a high-talent surfer who built a thriving surf photography career in an astonishingly short period of time.

Laserwolf lives year-round on the Seven Mile Miracle. He plays with classic cars, charges huge waves, lives a life the likes of which most can only dream. We chatted about growing up in Florida, being a single father, his rather speedy rise to success, the importance of the hustle, good branding, the necessity of a strong social media presence, North Shore cults, French Bulldogs, politics, and loads of other fascinating things.

You can find us on Stitcher here.

iTunes here. 

Or press play on the SoundCloud panel below.

Give it a listen. Leave your angry comments below.

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Dusty Butt
Dusty Butt
10 years ago

awesome rory. keep em pumping

nyc surfing golden boy
nyc surfing golden boy
10 years ago

Parker looks like a tan, less threatening looking George Zimmerman

Lemmy
Lemmy
10 years ago

i think your description on iTunes could use some help though. When i explain what beachgrit is to people i just simply put it as the TMZ of surfing.

Lemmy
Lemmy
10 years ago

thank you for this, just subscribed

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago

People keep asking for him. I’ve got a connection, I’ll start working to make it happen.

velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago

Rory, I’m furious:

– don’t tell me Morocco sux (after going on about how great the waves were). It’s one of my fantasy destinations, but guess I’ll leave wifey at home?

– what the fuck are you doing longboarding Kealia? Serves you right.

– give Bernie a break – sometimes a man has to fall on his sword (or live to fight another day – not sure if mixing those two metaphors works). Most of us know enough about politics to know that nothing is only as it seems.

– Brandon seems like a cool dude – thanks for the podcast. Now how bout turning your gaze toward Kauai – Barca? Lyndie? Titus?

velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago
Reply to  velobwoy

Fuller? Keala? Donavan?

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago
Reply to  velobwoy

The surf in Morocco is amazing. Absolutely unbelievable. But my wife couldn’t go into public alone without being followed and harassed. She’d try to sit on the beach while I surfed, long pants and long sleeve shirt and headscarf, and guys would congregate and hassle her. Really pushed my angry button.

I like longboarding. There, I said it.

I understand why Sanders endorsed her. Anyway, Hawaii only has four electoral votes, reports in after the race has been decided. My vote doesn’t matter. I’m not emotionally invested in this election cycle, beyond my utter loathing for and terror of the Trump supporter nightmare.

I’m working on getting local guests. If for no reason other than the fact that cell recordings sound so bad and I can’t find a way to make them better.

velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

I like longboarding too, but can’t imagine doing it at Kealia. You’ve got Rock Quarry’s, PineTrees, the Bay, that break by Anini (sorry, my brain is going) – are you that averse to heading north?

For some reason I’m not that terrified of a Trump presidency – maybe because the elite seems terrified of it too? Except for who he’d appoint to the SCOTUS – I am terrified of that.

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago
Reply to  velobwoy

It’s just so close to my house. You can usually find a fun little punchy wind nugget somewhere. And the thing about living on the east side, if you can be on it at a moment’s notice, like I can, you get a good amount of good surf. You’ve just gotta be able to drop what you’re doing when the wind shifts/dies.

I’m really looking forward to being healthy this winter and going North though.

velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

Do you have a good fish? A treat to able to paddle, turn AND duck-dive. Not sure why people are reluctant – it’s not like we’re pros.

There’s so many “B” spots up north most days that you don’t have to do battle at the A spots unless you want to. If you don’t have it dialed, just hook up with someone who does.

shootsthen
shootsthen
10 years ago
Reply to  velobwoy

Ask Donovan who buys the crap in his store.

SID
SID
10 years ago

Rory Wasn’t that a Bowie song …..loves the Podcasts SID

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago
Reply to  SID

Yep, Bowie covered it in Hunky Dory.

Tiny Tim did a version too.

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Limbless Jack
Limbless Jack
10 years ago

put it on itunes already…I cant sit here and listen to it if im engrossed in surf videos damn

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago
Reply to  Limbless Jack

I submitted it to them the same day we posted the Wassel one. Apparently an actual human listens to the entire thing before they approve it, so it takes a while.

Fahking Haole
Fahking Haole
10 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

15 minutes! ADD…

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago
Reply to  Limbless Jack

Looks like we were approved!

https://itunes.apple.com/us…

Limbless Jack
Limbless Jack
10 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

Awesome just subscribed!!

Yeah_na
Yeah_na
10 years ago

You should replace your yawns with bong rips,they sound better.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  Yeah_na

Yes, sound effects to punctuate the conversation would take this shit next level.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
10 years ago

Two cans and a string tend to work best when the string is pulled tight.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

I’ve always wondered if Director/Producer Dick Wolf (Law and Order, American law drama sitcoms, etc) was so driven because, well, his name is Dick Wolf.

shootsthen
shootsthen
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

Guaranteed . . . Dick . . . Wolf; that’s a strong name if I’ve ever heard one. Dick Wolf verse Cockasaurus . . . I’d put my money on Dick Wolf bc he seems faster and more driven. Cockasaurus sounds lazy and slow, just taking what comes his way. Dick Wolf, on the hand, is a bad ass hunting machine. Brah, I’m tripping out that a real life person is named Dick Wolf. That faka must get some mean stories.

J H
J H
10 years ago

Everyone on BG needs a bad ass moniker…like Penlight Puppy…or Nightlight Nurse Shark.

J H
J H
10 years ago
Reply to  J H

And yes, I mock because I’m jealous.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  J H

My kid nurses near a shark nightlight. Real talk.

J H
J H
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

Then he (she?) has a future as a big wave surfer, photog and North Shore resident.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  J H

I change diapers on the 10’6″, just to make sure she’s used to the way big boards feel come winter.

J H
J H
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

Smart man.

Yeah_na
Yeah_na
10 years ago
Reply to  J H

Rory’s is Razor Pork.

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago
Reply to  Yeah_na

I’m into it.

Yeah_na
Yeah_na
10 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

Well it’s settled then,Razor Pork it is.

J H
J H
10 years ago
Reply to  Yeah_na

Much better than Maglite Manatee…


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