A polemic endorsed by surfing champion Kelly Slater!
Yesterday, the surfing champion Kelly Slater changed the link in his Instagram page to go to a film by shark conservationist, Madison Stewart.
The Shark Hunters, which you can watch below, is a twenty-seven minute documentary that attempts to hang two old men, the noted shark hunters Mark Quartiano and Vic Hislop, whose attitudes to sharks are out of flavour with Generation Text.
The film opens with 22-year-old Stewart’s husky whisper, “Two men, one mutual enemy…”
It’s a polemic of sort that made Michael Moore the king of the stupids, and is rich with the irony that both the filmmaker and her subjects are so convinced of their righteousness, neither side can believe there might be a middle path.
I operate on the premise that if a species is threatened, protect it.
If it ain’t, why distinguish between the tuna we jam into cans and roll into delicious sushi and the various species of shark? Killing ain’t pretty, however you do it. Did you know we kill little lambs? Calves pulled off mammy’s teat? That we gas millions of baby chickens?
Unless you’re a vegan, you, yeah you, are contributing to the misery of animals. I used to be a vegetarian. Didn’t eat a damn fish, chicken or cow for twenty beautiful years, an accumulation of karmic points I hope to put to use at some later point, maybe at the onset of ass cancer or similar.
Why these two old sons of bitches agreed to be interviewed by a filmmaker whose aim was ridicule, not understanding, is clear when you go to Quartiano’s site. Brother is a… ladies man! Click on “Monster Hot Girls!” to see a swordsman with an eye for pussy.
Does Miami-based Quartiano, the bug-eyed ex-cop-turned-shark fisherman in his blood-spattered white overalls, really believe he has a shot with the Arabic-featured filmmaker, absolutely splendid in mirrored sunglasses and midriff Wrangler t-shirt, a zeitgiest-y tattoo wrapping her left tricep? I think, yes!
Quartiano drags a hammerhead aboard his boat, the fish fucked by hook and a bite by another shark, and, in an act he clearly believes is compassionate, flirtatious even, throws the doomed creature back into the drink.
The Australian Vic Hislop, whose ideas are more sophisticated than the brutish Quartiano, fares better than his American counterpart. Yeah, he’s ripe for parody, high on conspiracy theories etc, but it isn’t a stretch to accommodate a couple of his theories on shark nets and the changing of sharks’ diets in response to an ocean being vacuumed clean of snapper and mackerel and so on.