So come play a presidential debate drinking game! Starting…soon!
Tonight, at 9PM EST, the world will watch in wonder as the final presidential debate of the 2016 election stomps its way across the vestiges of American democracy.
What a time to be alive!
The system’s rigged. Of course it is. Always has been. Always will be. People in power don’t relish sharing control. Gonna put up whatever road blocks they can find.
The wife has begun spinning the conspiracy theory that Trump is a plant. Clinton campaign recruited him years ago. Positioned him to take the fall in our current election. Act the fool. Be so crass and unlikable that Hillary seems benign by comparison.
Nonsense, of course. But it did work out that way. Go Hillary! First woman in the White House! Bill Clinton as first lady! I desperately hope he makes a public appearance wearing Jackie O’s iconic pink Chanel dress.
It would be a magic moment.
“I’d prefer to be called the first lady. The greatest woman I’ve ever known was first lady. It will be an honor to fill the same role.”
The days following the election, which anyone with more than a single brain cell rattling around upstairs realizes will go to Hillary, should be interesting. Crazy shouts, even more poorly considered conspiracy theories.
“The fix is in!”
“Revolution!”
Rates of self-inflicted gunshots wounds will skyrocket as the dumbest among us arm themselves for the coming rebellion. The problem might solve itself. Death by self-inflicted stupidity, or medical debt so severe it pushes them even deeper into the underclass. Which is where they belong.
Democracy is like the value of money, or the concept of basic human decency. Essentially a willingly shared delusion. It only works when everyone agrees to believe in it. And we’ve been painted into a corner.
A large portion of the population is buying the notion that a halfwit caricature of a evil businessman is being cheated out of his due position.
Another portion, which includes myself, may be forced to admit that democracy is for the birds. Sound in theory, terrifying in practice.
A vote’s like a gun. Totally benign on its own.
But I think we can all agree you shouldn’t hand out loaded rifles to humans too stupid to guess which end the bullet comes from.
Feel free to join me in my Presidential Debate drinking game.
I’ll be taking a shot each time Trump says the game is rigged. Each time he calls Bill Clinton a rapist. Each time he interrupts with nonsensical platitudes.
I’ll probably end up dead.
But, you know, if this is just a taste of what’s to come, fuck… I might be better off.
Slater’s conspiracy theory shit is at the very least on the periphery.
Aditonally, there used to be shitloads of breitbart stickers and anti-marriage equality stickers on the fence of the Trestles path (might still be, I can’t peel em all off myself), so it seems your theory holds water.
You must have gotten shit faced!
Changed me pic in celebration. Hurray for freedom!
Which pro would Donald and Hillary be? I reckon Big D would be Sunny/J Flo based on dummy-spitting abilities, but not sure about Hillary. Jack “Mother of Dragons” Freestone?
Phew, so it’s not the end times just yet?
The deplorables will cry foul and litter the Internet with new conspiracies (hello Nick Dee and my Zionist Overlords!)
What’s next Murica?
If Trump vows to remove this shite show of an excuse for Pro surfing that is the European leg I’ll vote for him.
Flores spanking Wilko is pretty entertaining.
I bet Wilko is still asking…….”whaaats happening”
And for the record can we lose Banting, Melling and Otten now, please.
Your article was tremendous! You are making writing great again!
The Fox moderator made no mention of climate change. Perhaps this in itself is an “all drink”.
Rory yr smart. Great piece. ‘Bout time u guys walk outside the ocean.
The real question is “can either of them do a proper cutback”.