The World Surf League shocks with boring!
Pssssssssst. Hey…. You looking for a good time? You wanna party?
Well don’t call the World Surf League! Oh our pastime’s governing body is many things but rarely/never does it surprise. Am I right?
Am I right?
And the just released schedule for the upcoming tour only shocks with boredom!
Let us recall that this upcoming season will be Kelly Slater’s farewell tour. Slater is waving goodbye after so many years of professional surfing. He is truly an icon, head and shoulder, above any other personality, and do you think the WSL could have mixed up his final year? Maybe showcasing different waves? Maybe injecting a spike of anticipation?
The answer is no! In the just released schedule we are dished lukewarm same.
Start on the Gold Coast
Travel to West Australia
Then back to Bells
Before going to “Rio”
And then Fiji
Ahead of J-Bay
Ahead of Teahupo’o
Trestles
France
Portugal
Pipe
And COME ON Mr. CEO Paul Speaker! This was your chance to toss a wildcard. A fabulous twist. A parting gift for your beautiful boy.
Where should the World Surf League have gone? What treat should they have rolled out to Kelly Slater for his years of service?
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Why?
Surprised his Wave Pool isn’t on the list.
G-Land or Kandui.
bring back long beach ny.
I like the idea of revisiting New York with a the $1m prize pool, movie stars and reliving the final destruction of tajs last chance of ever winning a world title.
Hang the fuck on, didn’t they move that Rio event to Saquarema or somewhere?
Did somebody not tell somebody before the PR was sent out?
Same state.
Kerguelen Island.
Kelly’s head wear is just screaming at the WSL to go to Morocco, Maldives anywhere with Islamic undertone.
I can just imagine Speaker asking ISIS for some roses for his bed and limo and how well it would go down
It is trippy as hell walking over the giant dune of reclaimed land in front of Jails and listening to the shitty wailing prayer time. Worthwhile experience.
Here’s a schedule I’d like to see.
Get rid of Bells, France, Trestles.
Gold Coast
North Point or The Box. Never Margarets
Somewhere in the Ments- GreenBush, Macaronis, Lances whatever
Fiji
Tahiti
J Bay
Somewhere in Latin America. Not Rio though, Puerto Escondido would be sick. So would Bocas Del Toro.
And then two events in Hawaii to finish the year
Honolua Bay for men and women’s.
Pipeline for a roaring conclusion. Girls could do Sunset as a CT if there isn’t enough good days in the waiting period.
yep to all
It wouldn’t be a lap of honor if they gave him a different race track, would it?
I reckon some chia hair implants would go down a treat.
Give the cunt some quiky shares and another go at Pam Anderson
If only Rip Curl increased slave labor to free up some money so we could have the damn Search events back!!
Hell, I’ve heard there are some decent waves next to their factories in North Korea. I’m sure they could even get Kim Jon Un to throw a few bucks in.
Is your hypothesis that there are waves more incredible than Cloudbreak, Teahupoo, J-Bay, or Pipe out there somewhere? What secrets you keep.
cocoa beach
That would have been amazing! The CCB Open, Presented by Meth. Wrap up the waiting period with the annual Beach Boys “We’re Not All Dead Yet” concert at the pier.
Something tells me he’s pretty hyped on Fiji, maybe it’s living there half the year. But I think he’s going to be the most comfortable man at cloud break on and off the land.