Pipeline is nice but who's really got the snuff?
Every Hawaii season there are very many contests but one matters more than rest. It is not the Pipe Masters nor the Punani Cup nor even The Eddie. This competition revolves around which team house is the absolute chillest to chill at. Let’s break down the 2016/2017 ratings.*
4. The Billabong house is always pretty dank. It’s big, ganja green, and right at Off the Wall. What’s not to like? This season the Billy Boys threw a few impressive ragers, but the overall vibe seemed a bit edgy — like at any moment someone could bust in the door and smack the living shit out of the team manager. A fun place to get sideways, but overall not super dope.
3. The Volcom house is a North Shore staple, often producing the loudest tunes and meanest grinds on the strip (Kaiborg does a mean BBQ). Local lore dictates that you need expressed written consent to enter the premises, but when you bring a couple kegs over the boys are such legends! Weirdly none of their team riders were around, so Riddle and I just sat around and pounded a few brewskis with a cardboard cutout of Noa Deane. Pretty chill IMHO.
2. The Weedmaps house — new kids on the block! Super stoked to see some open-minded individuals penetrating the authoritarian surfing industry. What more, they got a dank-ass mansion with a pool and surround-sound speakers to blast some vintage Sean Paul! With a plethora of herbs and spices circulating the domain, it’s safe to say this was a properly irie dojo. Would chill there again. (P.S. Dirt Nasty you still owe me twenty bucks! Haha just playing he’s crazy love that guy.)
1. The RVCA house is like a crazy symphony, man. They’ve got all these majorly different dudes like Luke and Bruce and Betet and everyone seems to be on their own wavelength which is a little confusing at first but once you really listen to the vibrational cacophony you start to realize how harmonious it sounds and it’s fucking trippy, but like in a good way. Just being present in that natural amphitheater made me reconsider a lot of things I was taking for granted in my life, and for that, the RVCA house is my pick for the absolute chillest house on the North Shore in 2016/2017.
Oh and all their team riders can freaking shred that shit too. Peep this crip clip.
*Disclaimer: The author did not, and has never chilled at any of said houses. All characters and scenarios have been completely falsified for the sake of this dope (but untrue) review.
Billabong own RVCA so they’ve got 2 houses at Pipe? no wonder their shares are in the shit!
It’s like if Transworld Surf had a baby with the Inertia!
Don’t you ride for RVCA? Still weren’t aloud to hang there though? Rough.
If you’re gonna shade another writer at least check your homophones, guy.
Heh heh, homophones.
Reel torque write their.
Eye no wright?!
Fake Jake Poserkamp
Disclaimer: GoPro mouth mounts are used in this edit