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Beach Grit

Opinion: A modest proposal!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

For banishing conservatism and bringing joy back to surfing.

How much have you been enjoying watching professional surfing? Our boys put on such a show! I’ve been liking Mike’s daily wraps and am particularly fond of the way he is hammering the judges on their wanton conservatism. He is exactly right and the judges are exactly wrong.

But how do we fix this disease? And mark my words, it is a disease. Conservatism infects. It gets into the blood and turns everything a dull shade of grey.

Well, I would like to suggest a modest proposal. What if we, the viewers, acted more like an angry Medieval mob and meted out justice for a bad show? Every wave is a canvas, right. And we know what our boys are capable of. And so if a surfer safety turns for a safe score and the judges give him his score then we should demand another, different show.

I feel appropriate theater would be that the judges and the offending surfer kneel on a stage that is specially erected at each event site, in a similar theme to the commentators’ coffee table area, and form a human centipede.

Don’t you think conservatism would soon vanish and our skies would be filled with rainbows and progressive aerials once again?