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Beach Grit

OMG: It’s a Slater/WSL cabal!

David Lee Scales

by David Lee Scales

Surf fan discovers subliminal messaging on WSL broadcasts…  

OMG, I just unearthed an illuminati-level connection. Kelly Slater is using his ZoSea/Terry Harding (Slater’s agent) connection to subliminally influence WSL viewers to buy KS Designs surfboards!

Take a look at the WSL time clock font and the KS Designs logo.
Tell me that’s just a coincidence and I’ll shoot you.
WSL Font 3

The elongated O in the WSL clock, with bold sash. Unique, yes?

The elongated O in the WSL click, with bold sash. Unique, yes?

The KS Designs logo, an elongated O with a sash drawn across it. Unique, yes?

I’ve been in the game long enough to get bro-deals on boards.
Lately, I’ve felt an odd urge to buy a Sci-Fi.
I’m caught under his spell and I’m red with shame. I am feeble-minded. I am so gullible. A man long out of school sitting in his panties waiting for the tooth fairy.
I do wonder, what other messages has Kelly been hypnotizing us with? After his ninth title I shaved my head. Sometimes I wish ill-will upon sharks. Chia seeds have become part of my regular diet. I throw rocks at stores that sell Monsanto products. I stare at pools.
Undoubtedly, I’ve just tugged the first thread of a much bigger plot. I’m inclined to watch the Quik Pro today to find more clues, but I’m wary, fearful, of falling into a trance.
What next? Riding one of those rectangular boards?
Check in on me if you don’t hear back.