Gimme: All the Barton Lynch I can eat!

Is Barton Lynch the best announcer ever? Yes!

Are you watching professional surfing right now? Yes? Of course. Me too. Or as Matt Warshaw just texted me, “It’s the only single thing we can all talk about… Well. This and cocaine.”

He’s right.

I’m supposed to be doing cocaine but jut got done watching Adrian Buchan lose to Jeremy Flores even though he dropped a claim at the end of a 6 point something ride. I’ve always been on the edge re. claims. Like, sometimes I think they’re fine and sometimes I think they are totally lame. Watching Ace claim a 6 point something made me think when aimed at the judges they are the same exact thing as a soccer flop. The worst thing on earth!

But enough about soccer. Let’s talk about Barton Lynch! He is on the mic for a few heats and I know I’ve heard him before, calling heats, but maybe with Ross Williams leaving us, maybe with…. I don’t know. All I know is I WANT MY BARTON LYNCH!

His theatrical delivery paired with a real knowledge paired with a legendary history paired with a non-annoying Australian accent. Tell me now. Does any voice even come close to Barton Lynch?

The only thing I wish is that Ron Dawg and Sizzurp Tizzurp would stop calling him BL. He is a grown man. His name is Barton Lynch. And he is coming for both your motherfucking “jobs.”

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j7 Forall
j7 Forall
9 years ago

Barton’s beach throws are the best. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Building The Revolution
Building The Revolution
9 years ago

He’s like the Paul McCartney of surf comentary. I wish once, just once, he would say “koo koo kahoo” at the end of a sentence.

Mapski
Mapski
9 years ago

Looking forward to “Cocaine and Surfing” and the inevitable follow ups “Manitol and Surfing” and “Amyl Nitrate and Kneeboarding”.

Tio Sam
Tio Sam
9 years ago

it’s a helluva a drug

offthegrid
offthegrid
9 years ago
Reply to  Tio Sam

What? Christianity or Cointreau?

Preston
Preston
9 years ago

Is it just me or does anyone else thinks it’s odd that some of the WSL announcing team openly wears clothing from what I assume are paid relationships with certain brands? Barton/Hurley. Pete/Quik, etc.

Bragu Moy
Bragu Moy
9 years ago
Reply to  Preston

Pete is has long been sponsored by Quik… no secret there.

Tom
Tom
9 years ago

Best call from Barton was shutting down Turpel went something like this
Turpel – hey Barton tell us “back in the day” about your heat with luke egan at blah blah – do you reminisce about that when you catch up?
Barton – no Joey we basically live in the day!!
Was best shut down ever
Fuck Turpel off and get barton snips occy and few others

janeausten
janeausten
9 years ago
Reply to  Tom

..and he was so polite in doing so, Joe never even felt a thing.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago

the real issue is that it is not called soccer, it is called FOOTBALL. goddamn trumpians.

Richie Collins Webs
Richie Collins Webs
9 years ago

He’s awesome. Anyone catch his injury list on the broadcast? Hip replacement, heart attack, knee, etc…wtf?!

m0rt
m0rt
9 years ago

He’s great in short bursts Barton, they had him on for a few heat in Bells last year and he can waffle on a bit, the sideline throw to is perfect for him. Anyone else noticed one heat they cut to the lounge and old Pete was laid waaaaaay back spread eagled haha, real relaxed!

Joe Blowsmith
Joe Blowsmith
9 years ago

Listening to Peter Mel makes me sad.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
9 years ago

On another note, this Benny Hill music that cranks up way loud during the advertisements is going to get fired.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
9 years ago

He is kinda doing the subdued thing, like he is a super cool loose dude by night, but a cautiously mannered maths teacher by day.

Don Jon Florence
Don Jon Florence
9 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

And then it turns out he’s fucking that kinda hot English teacher (Rosy) that you dreamt you had a chance with. We’re the students in this fantasy, right?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

Where is Rosy? Do you think you could get her to do the teacher/librarian thing?

I never thought it would happen to me as the foxy blonde librarian looked up from behind the desk, smiled while simultaneously taking off her glasses and letting loose her hair from the tight bun at the nape of her neck.

Don Jon Florence
Don Jon Florence
9 years ago

Don’t be too hard on Turpentine and Raw Doggin’ Ronnie. They’re just trying to get a couple of wild card entries
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

A-rock Newman
A-rock Newman
9 years ago

I used to have a Sarges Surfing Scrapbook (remember those!) vid and BL was the “host”. He was classic then and he is even more classic now.
In said video some of the golden content he came up with was to barge into Jake Pattersons room post one night stand and interview the girl. Her name was Pam evidently so he held up a Playboy with Pam Anderson on the cover and shouted “NOT THIS PAM!”

Gold I tells ya.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago
Reply to  A-rock Newman

upload the clip

A-rock Newman
A-rock Newman
9 years ago

That VHS is long gone.

Hawaii5Bro
Hawaii5Bro
9 years ago
Reply to  A-rock Newman

Complete Fuc$&!ken legend!

m0rt
m0rt
9 years ago
Reply to  A-rock Newman

a lot like Sarges career

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago
Reply to  A-rock Newman

please do not write ‘in said’. shudder.

wincy
wincy
9 years ago

Sick name too. Barton. Baaaaaarton.


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