Huntington Beach seeks to smash the previous paddle
out record!
Oh I’ve written about paddle outs before, here,
though I can’t recall if we have come to a consensus on their
relative merit. Like, do you want a paddle out when you die? How
many people? Will I be invited? What sort of board should I
bring?
While you are deciding, Huntington Beach today is attempting to
host a Guinness World Record paddle out today at the pier to honor
International Surfing Day even though it is dumb and already past.
It is also to thank the International Olympic Organization for
including surfing in the Olympics. It is also to show the
International Olympic Organization that lots of people in southern
California like to paddle surfboards (even though StabStitch says
surfing is dead here for the foreseeable
future). It is also to tell Los Angeles that if the
city snags the 2024 Games it should hold its surfing in Huntington
Beach.
The “Circle of Honor” paddle out is hoping to attract 500
surfers.
But real quick, if Los Angeles snags the 2024 Games where should
the surfing be held? Certainly not Huntington. But where? Trestles?
Malibu? Maverick? Botany Bay?
Read more about the “Circle of
Honor” here and you can go and report if you live in
Huntington.
Also, have you decided yet what sort of board I should bring to
your paddle out?
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Watch: Surfing’s Small Wave Savant!
By Michael Ciaramella
Like nothing you've seen before!
Have you heard of Puerto Rico’s Hector
Santamaria?
I mentioned him not three days
ago and isn’t it crazy how the world works? I sent
Hector’s name into the universe and two days later
POW! We get this clip.
Now, there are many talented wave-riders in this world, but very
few surfing savants. Before we go any further, I want to
clarify what I mean by that.
There is a gray area, at least in my mind, when it comes to
defining a “savant”. According to Merriam-Webster, the undisputed
power-couple of English vernacular, a savant is:
1: a person of learning; especially : one with detailed
knowledge in some specialized field (as of science or
literature)
2: a person affected with a mental disability (such as autism or
mental retardation) who exhibits exceptional skill or brilliance in
some limited field (such as mathematics or music);
In my world, savant is more often used to describe
definition number two. Definition one is just a nerd.
That said, not all the people I’d determine as a surfing savant
have a mental illness. They were just born with incredible natural
talent and an unmatched understanding of the ocean. That
characterization relates to neither definition one or two but
it’s enough, in my mind, to justify giving them a special
label.
So maybe savant isn’t the technically
correct word, but it’s the word I’m gonna use to describe
a person who demonstrates an unfathomable connection with
their surfboard and the sea. A person who was well and truly born
to surf.
So, who’ve we got?
Clay Marzo, Kelly Slater, John Florence, Stephanie Gilmore,
Tommy Wit and now, in waves that slap just above the pecker, Hector
Santamaria! The world’s superior small wave surfer!
Please watch the following video for evidence. Specifically, pay
attention to the elasticity of his forehand whip, the
cutty-to-air-rev on a legit one-footer (0:50), and the stoopid
loops at the end.
Now take a moment to soak it all in. Rewatch if necessary, and
really try absorb what you just saw. Hector’s surfing is
unmatched.
In a wonderful twist of fate, the above filmmaker
included snippets of mortal surfers for reference. Notice how
much less connected to their boards, and to the waves themselves,
that these poor blokes appear to be. They’re not even bad surfers,
but the contrast between their forced completions and Hector’s
artistry is striking.
Dare I say that no one, and I will look Filipe Toledo square in
the eye when I say this, is more dexterous and innovative in
waist-high surf. Hector is a small wave savant and a chi-infused
alien.
Kelly Slater, when visiting for the Rip Curl Search event in
2011, allegedly described Hector as, “one of the best
surfer’s I’ve ever seen.”
Savant recognize savant.
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Adventure: Here comes the Hokule’a!
By Derek Rielly
This ancient canoe just traversed the globe for
three years! Raw!
Yesterday the double-hulled, replica
Polynesian canoe, the Hokule’a, made its
triumphant return to Honolulu after a three-year global
voyage. Sixty thousand miles, navigation by the stars, movement of
the clouds, the waves etc, exactly how the ancient Polynesians
did it three thousand years ago.
Let’s peel open the Encyclopedia of Surfing just
briefly (its owner Matt Warshaw correctly expects readers to
subscribe to penetrate the sanctum to read these stories.
Click here to
subscribe).
In 1978, Aikau gained a berth on the Hokule’a, a replica of
the double-hulled canoe used by ancient Polynesians to sail between
Hawaii and Tahiti. On March 16, Aikau and 15 other Hokule’a crew
members left Honolulu for a 2,400-mile voyage that would reenact
the midocean crossing; five hours into the trip, the starboard hull
sprung a leak and the boat capsized, leaving the crew hanging on to
the port hull. At 10:30 the following morning, Aikau took a life
vest, rain slicker, knife, and strobe light, and set out on a
10-foot surfboard for the island of Lanai, 12 miles to the east.
Later that day the Hokule’a crew was picked up by a rescue team.
Coast Guard rescuers searched for a week, but Aikau’s body wasn’t
found.
Did you know Hokule’a also means Star of Joy?
And did you know it was how the Polynesians, the most fierce and
wonderful and bloodthirsty of warriors, like monochromatically
inverse Vikings, came to own the Pacific?
And do you think, as you look at your iPhone, reading, maybe
you’re on a bus or a train surrounded by people with their heads
bowed, that you need a little adventure in your life?
That it might just be a wonderful thing to get your head out of
computer screens, off the drip of Instagram, and to be on the
ocean, staring at a canopy of stars, your body moving with the
swaying of the hull, your skin tattooed a pleasing brown and so
forth?
Would it be lovely?
Or would you find it all an uncomfortable inconvenience?
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StabStitch: Surf over in foreseeable
future!
By Chas Smith
Australia's one time leading surf retailer says the
dream has died!
Oh you have thrilled and cried with each
wrinkle in the grand SurfStitch drama. Do you remember when the
Australian online surf retailer was valued at tons of dollars,
maybe even multiple millions, and bought Stab for 10 million?
The highest times!
Sure there were some who questioned the move and even wondered
if SurfStitch was buying Stab for such a premium in order
to mask operating losses and keep share prices higher and drain
cash from company which could then be used to co-fund the bid to
re-privatise — wash the money and put it toward repurchase.
But those were just haters!
SurfStitch only had the purest of intentions on their buying
spree. Stab is totally worth 10 million! Probably more! In
any case, SurfStitch has fallen on the hardest times back home in
Australia and has closed down its north American operations
entirely. Should we read a
quote from a SurfStitch executive?
“The work to transform our business model; through improved
operational capabilities, enriched customer engagement and a
reduced cost base; is going well. However, the retail environment
has made it difficult to deliver the planned sales and gross margin
improvements as quickly as we would like, resulting in the revised
forecast for the group’s underlying EBITDA.”
The company also announced it would be closing its North
American operations by January 2018, noting the region…
“…continued to be unprofitable for the foreseeable
future”.
Well hell.
I live in North America. Is surf officially done forever here?
Will we all have to hang up our tools and head back into the salt
mines?
Hell. That doesn’t sound very fun.
But, when I die, can you please ensure that “unprofitable for
the foreseeable future” is chiseled into my headstone?
Thanks!
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Breaking: ISA seeks to destroy
surfing!
By Chas Smith
The International Surfing Association just became
enemy number 1!
The International Surfing Association, founded
in the middle 1960s, is the “world governing body” of surfing
according to the International Olympic Committee. You may recall
earlier this year when the ISA won surfing’s acceptance into the
2020 Tokyo games. Much back slapping and guffawing. I’ll even admit
that, while on the surface I pretended surfing in the Olympics was
super dumb in my heart I cheered. Surfing in the Olympics will
provide at least three laughs here on BeachGrit.
At least!
And so I made emotional peace with the ISA and its bow tie
wearing president Fernando Aguerre … until this morning.
The Association, you see, is currently in a protracted fight
with the International Canoe Federation to keep stand-up
paddleboarding.
You read that right! Fighting to KEEP stand-up.
The Associated Press reports:
The governing bodies of surfing and canoeing will go to
court for control of stand up paddle boarding, a sport that is seen
as a future candidate for the Olympic program.
The International Surfing Association says the Court of
Arbitration for Sport has been asked to mediate in its dispute with
the International Canoe Federation. No timetable for a ruling was
suggested.
Stand up paddle blends elements of surfing and kayaking.
Athletes stand on a board and generate speed by powering a paddle
through the water.
The dispute continues a trend of established Olympic sports
bodies seeking control of newer, youth-focused
disciplines.
The world gymnastics body has been trying to incorporate
parkour, which combines running, climbing and acrobatics across
urban architecture.
This is our chance to rid ourselves of this hideous curse Laird
Hamilton wrought. It is our chance to be forever done with the SUP
and it boils my blood, just boils it all the way that the
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is being squandered.
Give that shit to International Canoeing! Pay them to take
it!
Oooooooh I’m mad. So mad that if I was at an International
Surfing Association banquet right now, or like the Surfer Poll
awards, I would go to the stage, drunkenly sway from side to side,
then lean into the mic and say, “Fuck the ISA.”