Kelly tells old stud, "You're a kook. You've wasted your life and talent!"
A few hours ago, Kelly Slater, the greatest athlete of all time with the possible exception of Jim Thorpe etc, wrote an innocuous Instagram post drumming up interest in the J-Bay contest.
“Serious question,” posted Kelly. “You ever stand up on a wave and feel yourself channeling someone else, almost like an entity takes over your body and you become your idea of who that person is or what they feel in your mind? Like a crime scene investigator where they have to become that person to solve the mystery or unlock the riddle before the answers unfold? At #JBay, you can’t help but be mesmerized…Tom Curren flow, Terry Fitz speed lines, Johnny Boy/Occy power stick in my mind. Here’s to hoping everyone falls under its spell in the coming days.”
Of Kelly’s two million followers, 27,409 punched like, and a couple of hundred wrote fawning responses. A typical example, “You should do some book writings, Kelly!!! Perfect discription of feelings,” wrote Christian Kattelmann. “This is how every surfer feels about you.”
One follower wasn’t cupping the balls, working the shaft, howevs. Sean Volland, a former pro from Kelly’s hometown Cocoa Beach who goes under the handle colonel_ricc_vonn, wrote: “Truly hope you win, but honestly doubt you will!!! Maybe if you had a Simon and a Maurice in your quiv, but alas, you have all of those gay lil things that you think you rip on!!! Youre All Lucky Andy’s dead!!!”
No big deal, right?
Kelly went straight for the groin.
“You’re a kook. You’ve wasted your life and talent.”
And off it went.
colonel_ricc_vonn@kellyslater “At least you reconize talent kid!!! Lmfao . Was telling Reola the other day, Id much rather be The Col. that the GOAT!!! I prefer sheep; Black Sheep!!! Watch out for them Wildcards!!:”You shoulda retired retired with 11!! Now youre just wanting, waning, and embarrassing yourself!!! You cant win Jeffry’s again!! Hell, I dont think youve got another tour win in ya!!!””
kellyslater@colonel_ricc_vonn you’ve literally done and continue to do nothing worthwhile in your life but be an envious loudmouth. It’s a feeble attempt for some attention so here ya go. You were actually a pretty cool kid and good surfer. But life did a number on you.
colonel_ricc_vonn@kellyslater Damn, and you dont know shit about my life so you damn sure cant judge!!! Im stiil a cool guy, just not in the Slater’s world, but I damn sure dont lose no sleep over it, nor am I looking for 15 seconds of nothing kid!!! Dont flatter yourself!! I was just making a personal observation; no different than Derek Hynd used to get paid for!!! Im a KS11 fan; not hater!!! But Ive got a damn good eye and I call bullshit!!! Just Sayin!!! Im actually lmfao at how many people are attacking me!!! Ive got some giant, face covered in tats guy threatening my life from New Zealand!!! I aint hard to find!! Bring Em All!!! I aint never been scared!!!
kellyslater@colonel_ricc_vonn Sean, your colors don’t change. I know enough. If you weren’t looking for something you wouldn’t have said a word. You come on here insulting me and attacking other people, throwing vitriol. Always looking for attention but the wrong kind. You’re the same guy you’ve always been, that’s the problem. Nobody said you were scared but nobody is scared of you either. Now move along.
colonel_ricc_vonn@kellyslater lmfao and already moved!!! Good Luck!!! I didnt insult you, nor anyone!! I just presented an opinion!!! Kinda like assholes; We all have and can be one!!! I do know one thing; You dont know dick about me boy, so dont say you do!!!
And in came the sycophants.
mitchpymont@colonel_ricc_vonn ahahahha where are you now, on tour? Kelly still easily has years at the top! Sit down boy and admire the best do his work
colonel_ricc_vonn@mitchpymont ok, Ill shut up and watch him lose 3rd Rd to someone like Yago or Jacob Wilcox!! He’d probably win if he was riding a 6’2″ Simon!!! Those things hes riding and peddling are lame; Period!!! Its regressive so his surfing!!!
And, from the ominously handled roadwarriors360,
roadwarriors360@colonel_ricc_vonn You better publicly apologize before it’s too late. Or you’ll have a crowd of angry surfers and hungry Great White Sharks after you. JR
colonel_ricc_vonn@roadwarriors360 go fuck yourself bro!! I run Kelly’s home town and fear nothing!!! He wont step to me, and Ill fight you all!!! Im a dangerous man; Dont kid yourself!!!
Ooowee, it’s a gang bang!
Have no idea how I just came across this craziness! I know both Sean Volland aka Ricc Vonn and Kelly well. Sean Volland is a huge bully! Always the one to pick a fight. I can’t even count his arrest records! He is mean to women, children and clearly to respected world champions. Boooooo SV. Get a life, a job and try to do something positive for the world you live in. Your antics are so old and boring. Just like you.
gay
don’t worry, kelly’s s a bitch…
You were saying ? https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Kelly is awesome. His surfing is looking vicious but I agree He needs to start listening to a shaper again.That is what they do.Dedicated their lives to making boards to win on.Give Biolas a shot. Don’t do a Cheyne. I’m sure Tim Phares could make a winner. The shit
talking is good for Kelly. Too much ass kissing and yes men isn’t good for anyone..He can take it. Kelly is 10x sharper than most people.
Here is why Sean Volland got arrested in Florida
Source : http://florida.arrests.org/… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
From another google result.
#1 BATTERY TOUCH OR STRIKE
#2 BATTERY FELONY BATT OR DOMESTIC BATT
I’ve never even heard of this guy and I’m from his same era and been on the east coast surfing scene just as long. What is his claim to being pro? I googled the guy and all I could come up with was results from a single local contest in 1994. Sheesh, google my name and at least you’ll come up with some results in ESA and other local events and I make no claim of being anything in the grander scheme of surfing. His biggest claim to fame seems to be this: http://florida.arrests.org/…
Big old grumpy fish in a really REALLY small fish bowl. Every town up and down the east coast has a dick like this guy around.
I agreed with you till last nite , when Kelly surfed the best I have seen him in years, his board looked sharp , is it a Simon??
What’s your thoughts on Slater designs being made in Asia with alternative carbon , and we know that he can’t ride any of the designs at Slater Designs?
Agreed some of his boards last few years haven’t looked real great, but that board he was on at J-bay looked amazing, was such a pity he injured himself.
I mean lets remember anyway the guy is 45 and done it all, he has nothing left to prove to anyone.
Kelly has a sometime volitile relationship with friends from the past including family members, know why? They all want something, usually money.
Kelly would do better on a bigger board, his small boards do not draw out his maneuvers and he catches his rail , more in the last few years,and also. he has had many poor heats ,the last few years, due to lulls , some bad judging , and over all poor conditions…thought he got worked at pipe a few times, when others were over scored or they stopped the contest after his heat, when it was macking !! I respect Kelly big time , innovator of modern surfing , in my opinion.
well if you’re parenting your daughter at age 13 then you’re more of a man than Kelley ever was. Kudos.
damn, super burn. kelly would walk away from this one, or turn the heat up, dont know which
brutal but true
It’s all true and you and me and everyone else knows it.
I don’t know who Sean Volland is but that is terrible to say about Andy Irons! That guy “is” a Kook!!!
Do you even have a valid driver’s license? Are you allowed 9ne?
Okay so you were never charged with child abuse… maybe is was assault..? Violence is your solution to disagreement. Choke her out and she can’t agrue back!
You’re such a stand up guy and all around great person…not!
I know you’re a woman beater and child abuser… among other low things. Also jealous, unbalanced, violent, drug addict….
Well long as you’re happy to say it to their faces, that’s the golden rule.
This whole thing is strange. Why on earth would Kelly feel the need to defend himself against one person’s opinion – is Kelly really that insecure? If so, perhaps it’s that insecurity that drove him to achieve such a high level as a surfer. Not sure if Sean was trying to spark conversation (which he has) or was intentionally being a jerk and trying to get a reaction (which has definitely occurred). Either way, for someone in Kelly’s position to not be able to take the slightest bit of criticism and lash out at someone on a personal level online, where Kelly has the clear advantage, seems so chickenshit. Talk about bringing a gun to a knife fight….
t’s a bummer you both know a lot about each other. Of course I know of Kelly but don’t know him personally. I have met Sean Vollins back in the day several times. Sean absolutely is not afraid of anything but there is no reason for any of us outsiders to Jump in. Kelly & Sean grew up in the same area they know each. You guys life is too short don’t harness bad energy
Ha the Colonel turned his gram to private. Can only imagine how much hate he was getting DM’d from the Slater Love Brigade. A little bit of google of his arrests and yep he likes violence. Battery or domestic battery. Real winner winner chicken dinner right there. It’s a shame JBay wasn’t the Drug Aware Pro. That would have been gold if he won and dedicated the win to the Colonel…