"See veteran surf writer and professional receding hairline, Charlie Smith."
I was minding my own business this evening, walking my four-year-old daughter who was walking her chihuahua when our Michael Ciaramella texted me, “You have been struck! I’m so proud of Morgan.” I clicked on the screen grab of the picture he included and read from surfing’s poet laureate in a new work titled Inciting Racial Hatred – A New Low For Stab:
So why get off on the digital shock of the web? Where does this need to draw cocks come from? Even veteran surf writers use similar platforms to incite negativity.
See veteran surf writer and professional receding hairline, Charlie Smith. His vision of surf media is one-sided warfare (ever played Battleship alone?), lobbing grenades and inviting the return. But, what’s the point? It’s a silly game with no reward. One I may be currently playing into, that clever fuck, but Satan help me if I hit my forties and am living off my wife’s salary and taking shots at surf writers I’ve never met in person, who happen to be half my age and twice as handsome.
The point is, what lives on the internet is meaningful. Cyberbullying is powerful enough to drive kids to suicide yet somehow, on the surface, there’s no personal consequence for one’s online words.
Honey, welcome to the age of keyboard decadence.
Oh Morgan, my dear special Morgan, I hope you feel good that your harsh words about me in an article that was supposed to be decrying our degraded modern polemic, bizarre grammar and all, just drove my four-year-old daughter to suicide.
Just kidding! She doesn’t even read!
Truly, I’m proud of you for trying to engage but may I give you a few pointers? Next time hit me on a specific, not some multi-tiered solo Battleship/grenade metaphor. Like, what specifically enraged you? When I remixed your words into a sort of freeform jazz? Or when I called you racist? Specifics soar.
Also, don’t tease with some 20-year-old handsome surf writer I’ve never met in person. Who is he?
Also, it would be professional with a receding hairline, I think. A person, no matter how professional, can’t be a receding hairline.
Also, I am author of PEN Award nominated Welcome to Paradise, Now….. Oh I can’t help it! All I want to do is remix your words into more freeform jazz! Ladies and Gents, without further ado I give you… Morgan Williamson….
“I think the Internet is broken,”
An era of life behind avatars, screen names and the anonymous.
inciting racial hatred.
a dick measuring affair.
Where does this need to draw cocks come from?
professional receding hairline.
professional receding hairline.
professional receding hairline.
Cyberbullying is powerful enough to drive kids to suicide.
Yeah.
Why didn’t Morgan rip you on stealing Nate Jackson’s prose? Or did you ghostwrite for Nate?
Yes!
I just can’t bring myself to make fun of an autistic man’s weak chin… But maybe when Morgan writes his own PEN nominated book I’ll attack!
There’s a fiery throne awaiting you down under Mr. Smith. Hopefully they have sake and cigs on hand for ya
Fucking bang.
I don’t really know how to relate this to a backhanded compliment, it’s just so doubly brutal.
A merciful wedgie?
in the genital area, this is rare amongst german lasses.
that was hardly a grenade, please continue
What’s so wrong with drawing cocks?
Back in the day you could go to to naughty countries. Now? If I knew I’d still be a sponsored surfer.
and OP at that! any streed cred provided by the middle eastern gentleman with the ruger is immediately washed away by association of the dreadful OP rehash of the early 00s.
Spy too! Chas… this is like seeing the cool punk rock kid from high school in his middle school pictures where he wore abercrombie and had a costco complete skateboard.
Beggars couldn’t be choosers!
um yeah, like when that kid is on a boat with a guy holding a gun probably listening to not punk rock and probably 90 degrees of longitude away from a high school or a costco. do less.
i don’t think that you follow. it’s alright. listening to The Dipset will do that to people.
I’m saying Chas was way cooler then than he is now so your high school analogy thing doesn’t work.
You sure went full retard with that response Dipset
Look. I will help with these blood feuds. Rule 1 https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Hiccup
I was a sponsored surfer on that trip! Yemenia Airlines, Op, Spy…. blue chip brands!
Yemeni guy: “So you Spy eh? You CIA.”
Chas: “HUH!?! What!?! No, that’s my sponsor.”
Yemeni guy: “You look like Spy”
Chas: “No I don’t.”
Yemeni guy: “CIA spies wear OP corduroy shorts.”
Chas: “Spy makes sunglasses.”
Yemeni guy: “So where’s your sunglasses then?”
Chas: “I gotta poop.”
Yemeni guy: “Poop in your OP shorts.”
***right then this picture was taken***
That dude sounds like an insecure fuck. Im guessing he is short. Hobbit short. That seems to be a common theme with a large % of surfers.
Why does everyone have take a crack at Mikey C. at every opportunity?
i know people who never even surfed once who bought welcome to paradise at a barnes and noble…im sure chas is doing just fine
a couple of my writer friends who have nothing to do with surfing have read it and dig it so it seems like it’s good maybe! idk.
So what you’re saying is that you haven’t read it?
Ha ha I did! I did! I was being vaguely deprecating in a what the fuck do we know kind of way. My copy is currently in Germany with a friend of mine. Maybe it’ll come back someday.
PHEW
I was really worried there for a moment.
Surf writers are almost as petty as shapers, no dust? Where do I sign up?
hahahahahah PEN award nomination. after reading a downloaded for free copy of your book i have an award for you, Chas: https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I find receding hairlines kinda sexy.
You win this round, Chas. He showed early promise with “professional receding hairline” but ultimately folded like a damp silky neckerchief.
Morgan is such a little twink
bitch*
“Hey Morgan, where’s YOUR street cred?”
(says the guy on the bow with the Ruger Mini-14 Tactical Rifle while flashing a Morgan “you’re a vagina” with a capital V hand sign)
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Josh Kerr looks a bit malnourished there
This may explain how Chas narrowly escaped being imprisoned and endlessly violated by hezzbolah.
I hate to be racists, but since when do Middle East people carry any but an AK-47? A Ruger Mini 14 is probably out of reach both price and availablity wise. But yes that trip looks pretty awesome.
Not when you’re part of a Saudi backed rebel group called the Wahhabis. They wipe their asses with Ruger Mini 14’s and Benjamins Oil Money.
Yemenis are the most special breed. Amazing gun marts in every town!
Hate to say it but I think the Stab bloke is well ahead on points at this stage.
Solid jabs from him not really a knockout but solid.
Chas in return, nothing, nothing at all of any substance.
This kid has you on the run Chas.
You compliment Morgan and his jabs like there’s too much “hate” on the internet Adam. Yet, the first word you used is the word “hate”. Hateful compliments are not allowed in the BG anti-depressive matrix. There’s a sign right up front saying so.