Julian Wilson: “This mad bloke!”

A true hero set to win it all!

The World Surf League’s J-Bay competition is on the boil, presented by Corona, and do you think Corona will try to Mexicanize South Africa? Burritos in the competitor’s tent? Sombreros on the beach?

Oh I hope so. It would be the grandest surf competition since Barra de las Cruz. Professional surfing really does need to return to mainland Mexico but in the meantime, how good is rum?

The alcohol is made from sugarcane byproducts and distilled in oak barrels and adds the essential kick to cocktails from the daiquiri to the piña colada.

Cuba is very famous for rum, though they call it ron. Australia is, inexplicably, famous for it too. And let’s watch a spot from Bundaberg Rum as they immortalize the J-Bay competition from two years ago. The grandest surf competition since Barra de la Cruz.

Bundaberg Rum. Unmistakably Ours.

Mexican beer, rum, ron, whatever. I can’t wait for J-Bay. And is this the year that Julian Wilson, currently hovering at world number 8, wins it all?

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blumpkin mung
blumpkin mung
9 years ago

It seems like they’re trying to unite surfers, bicyclist men in leotards and a very flamboyant bear of a man in tight leather gear through a drunken foo foo cocktail debauch. Sounds like Sarge’s dream culmination of a homoerotic turn in surf advertising that is sure to open up new markets, save surfstitch and be fabulous.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
9 years ago

I’m telling you stay away from this rum, it aint no spiced smooth shit. This stuff will burn your nostrils crisp, you will shit black fire balls.
You will fight ten security staff and nearly win but Davo the dog cunt didn’t have your back. Seriously stinging and utter fight juice.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
9 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Sign me up to use as a parenting aid and call the Mad Hueys while you’re at it!

Disco
Disco
9 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Aye thats why we call it the The Devil’s Semen.

QuadThrusterSetup
QuadThrusterSetup
9 years ago

fuck yer fucken oath cunts

P.S. STAB RULES

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
9 years ago

Australia: “No one does dumb like us”

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
9 years ago

Allow me to introduce you to the United States of America…


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