Mitch Parko makes the case for manpower | Photo:
@dpasqualephoto
Watch: “As good as Burleigh gets!”
By Michael Ciaramella
Be honest, could you make one of these tubes?
And goddamnit, the whole world is in
flames!
Not in the North Korea is nuking everyone kind of way (yet), but
in the oceans are firing across the globe kind of way.
Just this week you could have surfed pumping waves in Indo,
Fiji, Tahiti, all of South and Central America, J-Bay, Namibia, and
even Australia’s east coast. The Southern Ocean is mostly to thank
but also maybe climate change.
Now, before I get roasted by Longtom (again), the reason I
wasn’t willing or able to chase any of these swells is because 1.
I’m headed to Costa Rica in a week, 2. I’m in the process of moving
and 3. I’ve picked up a secondary job (more on that later).
But back to Australia’s east coast.
If you haven’t seen it on Instagram or Surfline or mysurf.tv,
you can see it now! Burleigh Heads, a famous pointbreak twenty
minutes north of slightly more famous pointbreaks, went XXM the
other day.
What Burleigh lacks in vertical height it makes up for with the
length and girth of its member. The tube is brown and thick
and everything a girl (or boy) could want. Watch and be amazed!
A mesmerizing display of tube riding, don’t you think?
I was most impressed by Mitch Parkinson, who not only took the
initiative to paddle through an ungodly current and stiff
offshores, but also managed to raid deeper and darker tombs than
the lot of PWCunts. **Edit: Except for
Bede!
That said, stepping-off into those freight trains must have been
euphoric. Bede, Hippo, Bottle, and all the rest scored the tubes of
our lives while we watched colored blobs move across a monitor.
C’est la vie.
One last thing — Goldcoast locals, is this really “as good as
Burleigh gets”? I tend to think that it was maybe 3x better in
2005, but maybe I’m just nostalgic.
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That doesn't look like a Volcom t-shirt. Do you think
Georgia May is going to get fined? | Photo: @georgiamayjagger
instagram
Volcom: “True to this since forever!”
By Chas Smith
Mick Jagger's daughter admits, "I knew about Volcom
when I was younger!"
Volcom is a surf brand that was formed in
Newport Beach/Costa Mesa in 1991. It was once very core and cool
and its tagline used to be Youth Against
Establishment. Bruce Irons used to surf with Volcom’s Stone
logo on the nose of his board. So did… Ozzie Wright.
Now, I think, its tagline is True to This though the
This is unspecified. Maybe the
This refers to Georgia May Jagger.
Mick Jagger’s daughter is now the face the once very core and
cool Volcom. She says:
I knew about Volcom when I was younger… My life has always
been naturally surrounded by skateboarding and music. Even without
thinking about it, I just always find myself attracted to the city,
street culture and musicians.
-Georgia May Jagger
Let’s make this into a poem!
I knew about Volcom when I was younger
My life has always been
naturally surrounded
by skateboarding
and music even without thinking about it
I just always
find
myself attracted to the city
street culture
and musicians
If that don’t get you surf stoked I don’t know what will!
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Rude: Sharks bully autistic kids!
By Chas Smith
A beautiful camp shut down by whitey!
And you already knew that sharks were assholes
but did you know they were bullies too? Like the worst sort of
bullies who pick on the truly defenseless. On those who already
encounter many obstacles in their lives.
Sons of bitches. Sons of bitches all of them.
Just today there was supposed to be very fun camp at Doheny
State Beach, just north of San Clemente, where autistic kids could
learn to surf. Even the thought of it warms my heart! But that is
all it will remain. A a warm thought. Thanks to the sons of shark
bitches.
A camp that helps teach autistic children to surf postponed
its event planned for Wednesday, June 21, at Doheny State Beach
because of the threat of sharks in the area, its organizer said
Tuesday.
Surfers Healing is an O.C.-based nonprofit that puts
autistic children on surfboards with volunteers so they can
experience the feeling of catching a wave. It was founded by Israel
and Danielle Paskowitz, who have a son with autism who inspired
their venture. Israel is the son of the late surf icon Dorian “Doc”
Paskowitz, whose large Orange County family was dubbed “the first
family of surfing.”
“While we have had many inquiries over the past weeks about
the Orange County shark sightings, nothing in the weeks leading up
to the event or in our discussions with beach personnel have
indicated that there was any increased level of concern for Doheny
… However, we were informed this morning that over the past two
days a couple of great white sharks have been swimming through the
line-up – both unusually close to surfers and right in the exact
area that we hold our event.
“After discussing with authorities … we came to the
conclusion that we could not in good conscience look everyone in
the eye and tell you that it would be safe. A number of city
beaches have closed because of this and the state beach at Doheny
is on “advisory,” which means that they are nearing a potential
closure as well,” the group said in a Facebook post.
No good shark bastards. And where are the shark advocates now?
Are they taking the shark’s bullying even further by targeting
autistic kids though social media?
Probably.
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Victory: “The Circle of Honor!”
By Chas Smith
"When the hundreds of surfers joined hands, there
was an energy going through them. A feeling of love!"
Did you think the fine people of Huntington
Beach could do it? Did you really think they could link at least
500 people in the “Circe of Honor” thereby crushing the old
Guinness record for “number of surfers participating in a paddle
out?” Did you even know that paddle outs were competitive?
Well it ain’t called Surf City, USA for nothing!
511 people, to be exact, formed a blob underneath grey skies
yesterday morning and… well let’s allow the Los Angeles
Times to bring you the thrill.
More than 500 surfers braved choppy water Tuesday morning to
form a record-breaking circle near the Huntington Beach Pier to
help raise awareness of the International Surfing Museum and
promote Huntington Beach as the potential Olympic surfing village
for the 2024 Summer Games, for which Los Angeles is being
considered.
It took 511 surfers, to be exact, to claim the Guinness
world record for largest paddle-out as they formed the Surfing
Circle of Honor. Guinness adjudicator Jimmy Coggins was on hand to
monitor the record on International Surfing Day.
About 60 other surfers entered the water but were unable to
reach the circle just beyond the pier because of the choppy surf
and strong currents.
It took about two hours for the surfers to paddle past the
breakers into smoother water where they could form the
circle.
Diana Dehm, the event organizer and executive director of
the surfing museum on Olive Avenue, said she was overjoyed by the
success of the project she had spent months putting
together.
Dehm stood at the end of the pier giving orders from a
megaphone to get the circle in order while hundreds of onlookers
lined up to catch a glimpse of the historic feat.
A massive circle of pool noodles the surfers were supposed
to hold onto drifted and eventually broke in the water, causing
Dehm to make the call for the surfers to join hands
instead.
As the last surfers joined together, the Huntington Beach
High School band played and the crowd erupted in applause.
Several city officials were in attendance.
Mayor Barbara Delgleize said she was “stoked” that the city
got to showcase why it should be the surfing village for the Summer
Games. Delgleize had worked closely with Dehm for months to put on
the project.
Councilman Billy O’Connell and Planning Commissioner Dan
Kalmick were among those who took to the waves.
Kalmick said he’s not an avid surfer and was worn out by the
time he reached the end of the pier.
Jericho Poppler, the first female world surfing champion,
was a team leader for the Circle of Honor. She said it showed the
city’s ability to put on a big event and that she thinks it will
help sway officials of the Summer Games.
When the hundreds of surfers joined hands, there was an
energy going through them, Poppler said.
“A feeling of love,” she said
Beautiful poetry! Can I share with you my favorite passages?
About 60 other surfers entered the water but were unable to
reach the circle just beyond the pier because of the choppy surf
and strong currents.
A massive circle of pool noodles the surfers were supposed
to hold onto drifted and eventually broke in the water, causing
Dehm to make the call for the surfers to join hands
instead.
Councilman Billy O’Connell and Planning Commissioner Dan
Kalmick were among those who took to the
waves. Kalmick said he’s not an avid surfer and was
worn out by the time he reached the end of the pier.
When the hundreds of surfers joined hands, there was an
energy going through them, Poppler said. “A feeling
of love,” she said
I will commit these words to memory and recite them whenever I
feel sad or lonely. But real quick. What sort of energy would be
traveling through our hands if we organized a BeachGrit paddle out
for all of us here? Do you think it too would be a feeling of love?
Or maybe… another feeling?
Here now is a photo gallery at celebrities and other notables as
they heard news that the “Circle of Honor” was a success.
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Are you a kook or “competent amateur?”
By Derek Rielly
Clever matrix determines your ability level!
Surfing has an odd way of cutting into your bones and
menacing your well-being. One day you’re king of the hill,
debonair as anything on each wave and close to complete mastery;
the next your legs refuse to unfold upon lift-off and your
feet feel as if they belong to a different man.
From plans of surfing until your death-bed to dismal thoughts of
giving the game away. Surfing I love but you’re bringing me down
and so on.
So if we all perform at dramatically different levels from one
surf to the next, how can we definitely say we’re a kook or, say, a
competent amateur?
I remember once, years ago, having played a sweet hot
jazz on a few waves in a row, believing that the learning days
were over. That I’d secured my rung as a gifted surfer.
The next day, of course, I surfed abominably. And the next
etc.
Am I a kook or a competent amateur? Depends on who you ask.
While scrolling through the Wikipedia entry on Surfing today I
came across a helpful matrix that identifies “Surfer Skill Level”
as applied to “Wave Type.”
It makes a fascinating study.
For instance, a competent surfer rides waves with a “peel angle”
of forty to fifty degrees, with heights of up to three metres and
“section speeds” of twenty clicks. The waves I should enjoy, if I
am indeed a competent amateur, would be Kirra and Burleigh
Heads.
The “Top Amateur”, with his ability to ride a thirty-degree
wave, can apply for sets at Bingin and Padang in Bali.
The beginner? He, and she, necessarily, must never venture
beyond waves with an aspect of seventy degrees. He (she etc) should
live in Atlantic Beach, Florida.
Where do you squeeze in? Top Amateur? Top World Surfer?
Or are you one of those Intermediates who surfs Bells Beach or
New Zealand?
