Watch: “As good as Burleigh gets!”

Be honest, could you make one of these tubes?

And goddamnit, the whole world is in flames!

Not in the North Korea is nuking everyone kind of way (yet), but in the oceans are firing across the globe kind of way.

Just this week you could have surfed pumping waves in Indo, Fiji, Tahiti, all of South and Central America, J-Bay, Namibia, and even Australia’s east coast. The Southern Ocean is mostly to thank but also maybe climate change.

Now, before I get roasted by Longtom (again), the reason I wasn’t willing or able to chase any of these swells is because 1. I’m headed to Costa Rica in a week, 2. I’m in the process of moving and 3. I’ve picked up a secondary job (more on that later).

But back to Australia’s east coast.

If you haven’t seen it on Instagram or Surfline or mysurf.tv, you can see it now! Burleigh Heads, a famous pointbreak twenty minutes north of slightly more famous pointbreaks, went XXM the other day.

What Burleigh lacks in vertical height it makes up for with the length and girth of its member. The tube is brown and thick and everything a girl (or boy) could want. Watch and be amazed!

A mesmerizing display of tube riding, don’t you think?

I was most impressed by Mitch Parkinson, who not only took the initiative to paddle through an ungodly current and stiff offshores, but also managed to raid deeper and darker tombs than the lot of PWCunts. **Edit: Except for Bede!

That said, stepping-off into those freight trains must have been euphoric. Bede, Hippo, Bottle, and all the rest scored the tubes of our lives while we watched colored blobs move across a monitor. C’est la vie.

One last thing — Goldcoast locals, is this really “as good as Burleigh gets”? I tend to think that it was maybe 3x better in 2005, but maybe I’m just nostalgic.