Conner Coffin: Surfing’s ideal shape!

Welcome to a brave new era!

One of the great joys of international travel is being stuck in a hotel room with one or maybe two English television channels. It allows the curious to dip into subcultures he would have never otherwise considered. I, for example, have watched a handful of Bachelorette episodes whilst stuck in wartime Ukraine. Here I learned that very handsome American men emotionally shift into thirteen-year-old girls if they are still looking for love in their 30s.

I have also watched two entire stand-up routines from Gabriel Iglesias in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

The Mexican-American comedian is described thusly by San Antonio’s Express-News: “He employs storytelling, affected voices and sound effects in his act, whose other trademarks include references to his weight and his use of Hawaiian shirts.”

Mr. Iglesias’s comedy did seem family-friendly as regaled the audience with tales of his size. He is a short, portly man which he called “fluffy.”

I had forgotten all about fluffy until this morning after reading Steve Shearer’s almost too perfect J-Bay analysis:

I know Chas will make any apposite calls required on fashion or physique but did Conner Coffin look like he had been sneaking fried peanut butter sandwiches for a midnight snack or was it just a soggy jersey flapping in the breeze?

And I immediately returned to Addis, to Gabriel Iglesias, to fluffy.

Doesn’t the word describe young Conner to a tittle?

Oh I don’t mean this as an insult in the slightest. I mean it as a compliment.

Conner Coffin is professional surfing circa 2017’s perfect shaped man!

Low to the board, round but not too heavy. He can fit into any size tube. He can throw massive amounts of spray. He can hold a line all the way through its arc. Smooth bottom turn? He’s got. Quick wrap? He’s got. Little jam off the top? He’s got a lot!

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen Conner do an air in competition but airs don’t matter anymore. The judges witness a hands’ free full rotation, shrug, and mark down 4.2.

This is the dawning of the Age of Fluffy and I am very much looking forward to Conner Coffin’s rule.

Speaking of fried peanut butter sandwiches, they spread peanut butter on their hamburgers in Addis. It is beyond delicious.

What is the best strange thing you have ever put on a hamburger?