Welcome to a brave new era!
One of the great joys of international travel is being stuck in a hotel room with one or maybe two English television channels. It allows the curious to dip into subcultures he would have never otherwise considered. I, for example, have watched a handful of Bachelorette episodes whilst stuck in wartime Ukraine. Here I learned that very handsome American men emotionally shift into thirteen-year-old girls if they are still looking for love in their 30s.
I have also watched two entire stand-up routines from Gabriel Iglesias in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.
The Mexican-American comedian is described thusly by San Antonio’s Express-News: “He employs storytelling, affected voices and sound effects in his act, whose other trademarks include references to his weight and his use of Hawaiian shirts.”
Mr. Iglesias’s comedy did seem family-friendly as regaled the audience with tales of his size. He is a short, portly man which he called “fluffy.”
I had forgotten all about fluffy until this morning after reading Steve Shearer’s almost too perfect J-Bay analysis:
I know Chas will make any apposite calls required on fashion or physique but did Conner Coffin look like he had been sneaking fried peanut butter sandwiches for a midnight snack or was it just a soggy jersey flapping in the breeze?
And I immediately returned to Addis, to Gabriel Iglesias, to fluffy.
Doesn’t the word describe young Conner to a tittle?
Oh I don’t mean this as an insult in the slightest. I mean it as a compliment.
Conner Coffin is professional surfing circa 2017’s perfect shaped man!
Low to the board, round but not too heavy. He can fit into any size tube. He can throw massive amounts of spray. He can hold a line all the way through its arc. Smooth bottom turn? He’s got. Quick wrap? He’s got. Little jam off the top? He’s got a lot!
I don’t know that I’ve ever seen Conner do an air in competition but airs don’t matter anymore. The judges witness a hands’ free full rotation, shrug, and mark down 4.2.
This is the dawning of the Age of Fluffy and I am very much looking forward to Conner Coffin’s rule.
Speaking of fried peanut butter sandwiches, they spread peanut butter on their hamburgers in Addis. It is beyond delicious.
What is the best strange thing you have ever put on a hamburger?
I’d eat Ethiopian cow jiz off my burger to find out what Iglesias puts on his!
beetroot kimchee
Pineapple.
According to the WSL surfer profiles, Conner is 5’7″ and 152 pounds, or 170cm and 67kg in the metric. I’d hate to be selling pigs by weight to these guys.
There is no fucking way he is 67Kg!!!
I reckon they all should be weighed live before every heat at each event then they can be bagged even more if put on a few kegs between events!!!
I’m 172cm, 70 kg and have the legs of a 15 year old girl. If Conner grew a beard, he would be a bona fide bear…
Ha ha – i’m 172cm and look a little bit like pic above from Karl – about 83kg. “Too much weights and not enough speed work” says Jake the Musc!!! actually shitload beach running been the norm for me as too many sharks!!!
So, if Connor is fluffy, does that make Gerlach his fluffer?
“Ex fluffer”
Has there been a parting of ways?
I’m not sure what I ate in Addis Ababa, I was too distracted by the 18 storey bamboo scaffolding on the building next door
You should see the secret turn that Gabriel Iglesias has been working on. I can set up a meeting to get Bobby Martinez to vouch for him.
Illustrated guide to modern surf performance:
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Laird?
Close resemblance to me minus the sword and axe which normally only take out on weekends
I always thought Occy was the perfect build. Low center of gravity seems pretty essential. There are always outliers, though.
Or as Pottz so eloquently described Coffin in the above video: “A real nugget-y sort of guy.”