What happens to the ultra-bendy as they age? They break…
Two days ago, Kelly Slater smashed the precious little bones in his foot while surfing at Jeffreys Bay and, likely, won’t be seen in competition again until December.
The childish lust for Kelly to retire before his legacy is tarnished might’ve just come true. (The considered reader, and viewer, of course, is painfully aware of the gap Kelly will leave.)
A few days ago, I was talking to an old friend about the imperative to continually resuscitate the career of Kelly Slater, however low he goes, when he told me his theory about hyperlaxity aka hypermobility slowly breaking Kelly.
See, as a kid, Kelly could walk up and down stairs on his hands with his feet laced behind his head ’cause of his hyperlaxity. Oh people loved it!
Great party trick.
Thing is, as they age, folks with hyperlaxity are prone to joint instability, terrible and chronic joint pain, osteoarthritis even in their teenage years, frequent dislocations and so forth.
Yoga and stretching is discouraged.
Kelly Slater passes out during yoga session! from BeachGrit on Vimeo.
My pal tells me Kelly’s disappearance from the tour in 1999 was because of a possible hip replacement, or at the very least hip surgery, brought on by teenage osteoarthritis that required a one year convalescence in Capbreton, France.
And, now, without ligaments holding taut his body, he’s slowly breaking, the hammered foot part of an ongoing, and perhaps futile, battle to keep that beautiful, iconic body together.
Let me be candid.
Only a dimwit could find anything positive in a tour without Kelly.
This is an undoubted fact.
After Felipe’s aerobatics display I think Kelly will do fine as an expert commentator, at least he is younger than Shaun
Kelly has a great face for podcasts 📻
Consider me unconsidered. Life will go on.
I actually really enjoyed his 3 minute commentary when he had his foot cocooned in something which likened him to Robbocop. His knowledge of waves and how individuals surf them is a breath of fresh air compared to the constant hyped up drivel we’re used to. I don’t know how much more PR I can take surrounding guys who are clearly floundering in decent waves.
I say pack him out with drugs and wheel him around the rest of the year with a camera crew in tow giving our take on Epicly Later’d. It’s about time surfing progressed out of the nineties anyway.
How refreshing was it to hear someone saying that Mick’s board looked wrong [when it obviously was] rather than some half baked reimagined excuse for his inability to hold his top turns [oldspeak for “high-line wrap”] through their usual arc.[I actually wondered whether he should’ve been using a bigger fin, would’ve liked Slater’s input on that theory.]
yep putting on my sport scientist cap, basically really simply and generalised 2 body types – floppy or stiff. If you are already hypermobile do weights don’t stretch, those who are stiff should not do weights but stretch – Kelly hypermobile and yep probably catching up now!!!
Yep, combine his “ripped” physique (read skinny/no muscle), with a diet consisting of birdseed, and an attitude of “I never do any strength training”, and you’re closer to a prisoner of war than a professional athlete trying to maximise his longevity and recovery.
Hiiiii my joints bend in weird directions and I have spent many hours in the gym. Fortunately, someone invented punk rock to make this better.
You’re right Derek. It’s been said for a long time, No Kelly No Tour…..JJF, Filipe, Frederico, Owen, Medina etc – they have little appeal. It’s over.
I’m afraid to engage, but is this sarcasm?
nonsense?
no, its retardation.
Manic Depression? The manic is leaving the launch pad and hits terminal velocity in the other article. This Sharkey aka Birdrock guy is a trip.
ask anyone under 20 if they care about Kelly. Life rolls on.
Problem is that the young kids aren’t spending money on surf apparel so right now the target market is people who are Kelly fans.
then the whole OK line needs to be golf shirts and penny loafers with no socks
Isn’t it?
If anyone could convince someone to buy a bag full of no socks, it would be Kelly.
young kids’ parents spend money. My kids love JJF. One even said he hopes Slater “…never comes back – I hate him.”
Then how do they get kids to watch a comp that starts in the middle of the night, the next day in Fiji?
ask anyone over 20 if they care about anyone under 20.
I don’t even have the mobility to give a thumbs up thank god.