This stud is worth almost half-a-bill. Maybe he's gonna be SurfStitch's new daddy.

Rumour: TV Salesman to buy SurfStitch!

Is this stud going to be SurfStitch's new daddy?

If you live in Australia, you’ll know Kogan.com. It’s the classic online discounter. Started out making TVs cheap and undercutting everyone, until it turned into a two hundred mill a year biz.

Lately, it’s got into phone plans, unlimited everything and a ton of data for twenty-five bucks a month.

Its founder, tech wizard Rusland Kogan, who is worth almost half-a-billion dollars, is convinced there’s a domino stack of online retailers about to collapse and he’s going to be there, waiting, to snatch ’em up for pennies.

As he told AAP,

“Over the last decade there has been a lot of online retailers who have done a great job in raising money building a website and then blow all the money on marketing and building a brand. As a result of that, we see a lot of those falling over in the coming year and that creates an opportunity for Kogan.com.”

And, as posited by SBS News,

“Chief financial officer David Shafer said the company was a bargain hunter and would only buy if the business was good value and earnings accretive.

Surf and sporting goods retailer Surfstitch and homewares and furniture business Temple & Webster are two high-profile and publicly traded loss-making online retailers.

SurfStitch shares are currently suspended pending various legal travails.

The last time they traded, each share was worth a little under seven cents, down from almost two bucks back in the glory days of late 2015.

SurfStitch’s market cap is around eighteen mill.

Peanuts for Kogan.

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Fin
Fin
9 years ago

when that crash comes he should be able to grab The ‘bong and the Stitch for 7cents total…

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
9 years ago

I heard this guy is going to buy the WSL, fully infatuated with surf girls.

Tom
Tom
9 years ago

Kogan are taking over everything – travel, mobiles, insurance, obviously shopping – they may as fucking well.
Then since he is looking for love buying SS he will definitely pull a root!!!

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
9 years ago

This is classic Revenge of the Nerds hey? I hope he fucking hates surfers and snaps up SurfStich so he can show those fuckwits the door. Double the shares from seven cents to 14 then flip it to the Chinese. Poetry.

Otto
Otto
9 years ago

Kogan.com: Hi Mr. Bezos, my name is Rusland.
Amazon.com: Park my Lambo up front you fucktard or i’ll fucking kill you and ship your decomposing body into fucking space. Fucking space skippy! Now, get me a drink Rusland and stay the fuck out of my about to own SurfStitch.com fucking way! Are we clear?!?
Kogan.com: How come you didn’t name your company Bezos.com?
Amazon.com: Cause I’m fucking inventive you dickweed! Like the mother fucking Amazon Forest! Think of shit first numbnuts or don’t think of it at all! Real fucking inventive Rusland….Kogan.com….who the fuck came up with that one genius?!? Let me guess. A relative right?!? You make me sick Rusty!
Kogan.com: Its Rusland sir.
Amazon.com: Sure thing Rusty. I took a shit this morning that was worth more than you!

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
9 years ago
Reply to  Otto

You OK Whaley?

longtom
longtom
9 years ago

Maybe he’ll make an offer on the Grit?

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

he’s gotta love the low overhead. shit, looks like Hot Nife CBD oil co. even springs for their Point Loma digs

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Low overhead? Check out the gap between hairline and eyebrows.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

If anyone understands the surf market, it’ll be this guy. And I actually mean that non-sarcastically.

turts
turts
9 years ago

Because he’s not a has been just looking to line his pockets?

Ghostface Braddah
Ghostface Braddah
9 years ago
Reply to  turts

Because he understands margins, volume and speed to market.

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago

this guy gets hookers to shout “your margin is huuuuge!” at him when he goes to Singapore

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  turts

Nope. Because he’ll look at it and go “What idiot would pay $85 for a pair of boardshorts that cost $3 to make?”

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
9 years ago

The French Nurses Vs. The Batons tho?

janeausten
janeausten
9 years ago

Yeah, bring it on – like the cast from the “Village Police Movie” spilled over into the set for “Naughty Night Nurses IV” a la the last bit of “Blazing Saddles”.


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